See Me After Class(55)
“Nope, we’re on our own.” Cora holds up an open bottle of wine. “Anyone want a drink?”
Stella holds up her hand. “I’m picking up a few freelance conditioning classes tomorrow. Can’t be hungover.”
Cora moves to the wine glass in front of Keiko, who vehemently shakes her head. “Alcohol does not negotiate in good health with my gastrointestinal tract. Symptoms of abhorrent flatulence accompanied by death-gripping defecation wreak havoc on my person. Thank you, but I shall pass.”
Eyebrows pinched, nose turned up, Cora faces me, and I gladly hold out my wine glass. “Fill her up.”
“No flatulence issues?”
I shake my head. “No, I can handle my liquor just fine.”
“Thank God for that.” Cora fills up my glass, and when she’s done, I give it a good swirl and take a sip.
“Wow, this is great.”
“It’s one of Arlo’s expensive bottles.” She chuckles. “He never drinks it because he never has company over, so I figured he won’t mind.”
Oh, now I feel guilty. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. He always says what’s his is mine.”
“Arlo is an attractive man,” Keeks says out of nowhere. “Is he presently courting anyone?”
I nearly spit out my wine. Why on earth is she asking that?
“You interested?” Cora asks, brows raised.
“Oh no. My counterpoint of attraction currently is Kelvin Thimble. But he is frequently out of sorts and clammy with nervous perspiration whenever I’m around. Makes the act of growing intimate difficult, as I’m not fervent on apprehensive bodily fluids.”
“Understandable,” Stella says. “But what does this have to do with Mr. Turns Me On being single?”
“Oh God, do not call him that.” Cora grimaces.
It’s true though. That nickname could not ring truer.
“I came up with a hypothesis that if Arlo was courting someone, he could instruct Kelvin how to court properly as well.”
“That’s not a job for Arlo,” Stella says. “That’s a job for Romeo. He’s the king of getting women to fall for him.”
“Is that coming from experience?” I ask, smiling over my glass of wine.
“No.” Stella rolls her eyes. “But I’ve heard enough stories from his college and baseball days that claim him as very skillful in the topic.”
“Would he converse with Kelvin?”
“Want me to ask?”
“Yes,” Keeks says with a nod. “Thank you.”
“Why are you worried about that right now?” I ask, curious as to where her mind is wandering to.
“This is a romance novel book club, is it not?”
“It is,” Cora says, handing out giftbags. Inside is a small clipboard with attached book suggestions. All read like a romance novel.
“That’s what I gathered from the invitation. According to an avid Google search, romance novels include graphic coitus, bringing fictional characters to completion. Research proves that acts of pornography, written or recorded, can lead to an increased level of arousal, tapping into the reptile part of the human brain and reflecting in physical wakefulness. In street terms, one can become horny. Although, I have an extensive amount of maturity in beguiling myself—”
“Oh dear God,” Cora mutters, leaning back in her seat and drinking her wine. I take a large sip myself.
“I have obtained someone of interest of the opposite sex and would prefer for him to bring me to completion. Therefore, he needs to prepare himself for the ravenous behaviors I’m anticipating taking over me once I dive deep into erotic literature.”
The three of us find ourselves silent. All of us blinking. All of us unaware of how to respond.
When I signed up for book club, I didn’t think we’d be talking about Keiko masturbating or training her boyfriend to be a suave man of the sheets rather than sweating all over her.
And we haven’t even picked out a book yet . . .
“Before we get started, I’ve been told I need to ask you a question.” Stella sits cross-legged in front of me, a nervous look on her face, water in hand.
“Oh?” I ask, bringing a glass of red wine up to my lips.
She glances over at Coraline and winces. “Uh, I feel weird asking.”
Uh-oh. I hope this isn’t what I think it’s going to be. “You know, we don’t have to—”
“Then why bring it up if you’re not going to propose your query?” Keiko impatiently pushes her green-rimmed glasses up on her nose. “You know the frequency of these meetings are dependent upon staying within the comprehensive itinerary I composed during my lunch break.”
“Cool your bloomers, Keeks,” Coraline says while taking a large sip from her wineglass. “I want to know what’s making Stella so fidgety. Out with it, Stella,” Cora says.
“Please, so we can proceed,” Keeks says, straightening her notepad on her lap.
Stella looks me in the eyes and says, “Brock wants to know if there’s anything going on between you and Turner. Apparently, Turner won’t say a thing, but Brock thinks there’s some strong sexual tension building.”
Cora whips her head to me, her eyes wide. “Are you getting it on with my brother?”