See Me After Class(120)

And now that the weekend has gone by, I can see not going after her was a huge mistake, because when she looked at me, her eyes were lacking the usual sparkle. They were blank, empty, lifeless, and that was scary.

She’s vibrant, excited about Monday mornings, ready for a new week of teaching . . .

Fuck, what have I done?

“Arlo,” Gunner snaps. “What’s going on?”

“We broke up,” I say, sitting on the edge of my desk. “At least, that’s what I think happened.”

“How? What the hell changed?”

“She had her mid-semester evaluation. Nyema referred to my evaluation—”

“And? That’s your job as a department head. You told me the other week that you could see some merit in how she structured her lessons.”

He’s right. I had told him that. But in the midst of getting to know Greer, learning who she is, how she grew up, fucking her every other available moment, falling in love . . . I hadn’t even thought about the evaluation or that we butted heads on her style. It didn’t seem as relevant.

“Yes. That’s correct. But I submitted my evaluation probably four weeks ago, Gunner.”

“What did you say?” Gunner asks, taking a seat on one of the desks.

“I don’t remember.” I pull on my hair. “I mean, nothing that I thought was going to have the school board want to fire her.”

“What? They wanted to fire her?”

“Apparently. But Dewitt wouldn’t let that happen. I spoke the truth—the only thing I can honestly remember writing is that using techniques like CliffsNotes didn’t settle well with me.”

“You need to figure out what you said.”

“I know. But does that matter now? I can’t take it back. I have no idea what to do. I’ve tried apologizing, I’ve tried talking to her, explaining myself, but there’s nothing I can do. The damage has been done.”

He winces.

“What?” I shoot at him. “Should I walk up to Dewitt and ask her if I can see her evaluation so I can refresh my memory on what a dick I was?”

“Pretty much.”

“That’s not helpful.”

“Do you have a better idea?”

“I have no ideas. I honestly still can’t believe this is happening.” I press my fingers to my brow. “Fuck. I love her—and, what, we’re just done now?”

“Only if you give up,” Gunner says.

The bell rings, indicating school is starting and kids are going to start filing in.

“Shit,” I mumble.

“I have to go, but think about it, okay? This isn’t over.”

“Then why does it feel like it is?”





“You look like you want to cry,” Coraline says, walking into the kitchen.

“I feel like shit.”

“Good, you should.”

Living with your ex-girlfriend’s friend who knows how to hold a grudge does not make for a good time. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemies. Coraline has been relentless about making me feel like the piece of trash that I am. It’s bad enough that I already carry around immense guilt and self-hatred, but she loves to pile it on every chance she gets.

“Coraline, I don’t need this from you.” I press my palm to my eye, not in the mood for food, so I go to the living room couch.

Grabbing a banana from the counter, she joins me, not that I invited her. When I reach for the remote, she kicks it away.

Sighing, I lean my head back against the couch and say, “What?”

“It’s been a week. A week, Arlo, and you’ve done nothing to fix this.”

“There’s nothing I can do. She won’t talk to me. Pretty sure if she won’t talk to me, there’s no way I can solve this. She doesn’t want to hear me out. She’s done, so that means I’m done, too.”

“Oh, so you’re going to act like a petulant child and just give up because you’re not getting your way?”

“I’m not acting like a petulant child. I just know when something is over. I’m not about to—in crass terms—beat a dead horse. It’s over.”

“Let me ask you this. Do you love her still?”

“No, in a matter of a week I’ve been able to forget about the only woman I’ve ever loved and move on,” I answer sarcastically.

“Your rude tone isn’t going to get you anywhere with me.”

“I’m not trying to impress you.”

“You should. I’m Greer’s good friend. I could put in a good word for you. Mind you, I’ve been saying some pretty shitty things about you, but I can change that all around.”

“Wow, thanks, Coraline.”

“Well, don’t be a dickhead, and I won’t have to try to protect my name because I’m unfortunately associated with you. Trust me, I’ve bought a lot of apology donuts in the last few days to help hold down my relationship with her. Do you know how awkward it is hanging out with her knowing my brother is the reason she’s working her ass off to keep her job? It’s not fun. Do you know what else isn’t fun? Watching Greer quietly cry to herself while we try to cheer her up. It’s painful, agonizing, knowing how much she’s hurting.”