See Me(43)

In the hospital, he’d spent a lot of time in group therapy, where trying to figure out what made others tick was part and parcel of the exercise itself. Understanding others meant understanding yourself – and vice versa – and he’d long ago become attuned to body language and vocal cues people displayed as they shared their fears and flaws and regrets. And while he couldn’t precisely read Maria, he suspected she was just as confused about what was happening as he was. Which made sense. Although he was doing okay now, she had to realize that the old Colin would always be part of him. That would be a concern for anyone; hell, he was concerned about it, too. While his explosive anger was dormant at the present time, it was like a hibernating bear, and he knew he had to structure his life a certain way to keep spring from arriving so the bear would stay asleep. Train hard to keep his anger in check; indulge in the occasional MMA match to purge his aggression. Study hard and work long hours to fill his schedule and keep him from visiting the wrong places. Stay away from drugs and limit alcohol. Spend time with Evan and Lily, who not only were model citizens, but were always there to lend support and keep him out of harm’s way.

There wasn’t room in his life for Maria. There wasn’t time. He didn’t have the energy.

And yet…

They were alone together on an isolated stretch of sand, and he thought again that she was sexy as hell. Logically, Maria should have run for the hills by now, but she seemed to be taking his past in stride, and for the life of him, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

He watched as she leaned back in the glow of the late-afternoon sun, propping herself on her elbows. He thought again that she was as naturally beautiful as anyone he’d ever seen, and in an effort to distract himself, he rolled to the side and reached behind her, pulling the cooler toward him. He popped off the lid and retrieved two bottles of water, then handed one of them to her.

“Banana or orange?” he asked.

“Banana,” she said. She sat up, languid and graceful. “Oranges get my hands all sticky.”

He handed it over and pulled out a couple of baggies of mixed nuts.

“Do you want some of these, too?”

“Sure,” she said. “Why not?”

She took the baggie and popped a couple of almonds into her mouth. “This is just what I needed,” she said with a wink. “I can already feel my cholesterol dropping and my muscles getting bigger.”

He smiled, beginning to peel his orange. She did the same with her banana and took a bite before leaning back again. “I never do this,” she said. “Come to the beach when I’m here, I mean. I’ve paddled past it, but I’ve never actually come out here just to relax.”

“Why not?”

“In the summer, there are always too many people around. I’d feel weird coming out here alone.”

“Why? It wouldn’t bother me.”

“I have no doubt you’d do it. For you, it’s no big deal. But it’s different for women. Coming out here, all alone – some guys might think it’s an invitation. And what if some crazy man sat next to me and started hitting on me? Like someone who’d done drugs and was on probation and had a history of going to bars so he could fight strangers and stomp on people’s heads… Oh, wait!” She feigned horror as she suddenly turned toward him.

He laughed. “What if he said he’d changed?”

“At first, I probably wouldn’t believe him.”

“What if he was charming?”

“He’d have to be really, really charming, but even then, I’d probably rather be alone.”

“Even if he changed your tire in the middle of a storm?”

“I’d definitely be grateful for the way he helped me out, but I don’t know if it would make much difference. Even crazy people can do something nice once in a while.”

“That’s probably a wise decision. A guy like that might be dangerous and definitely not someone you’d want to be alone with.”

“Obviously,” she said. “Of course, there’s always the possibility that he really had changed and that he happened to be a nice guy, which means I’d be out of luck. Since I never even gave him a chance, I mean.”

“I can understand how that might be a problem.”

“Anyway, that’s why I don’t come out to the beach alone. It just eliminates the whole issue.”

“Makes sense. Still, I have to admit that I’m not quite sure how I feel about what you just said.”

“Good,” she answered, nudging him playfully with her shoulder. “Then we’re even. I haven’t known how to feel about a lot of what you’ve told me.”

Though he wasn’t sure if she was flirting, he liked how natural it felt when she touched him. “How about we change the subject to safer ground?”

“Like what?”

“Tell me about your family. You said you have a lot of relatives in town?”

“My grandparents on both sides still live in Mexico, but three aunts and four uncles live in Wilmington, along with over twenty cousins. And we throw some rocking family parties.”

“Sounds fun.”

“It is. A lot of them either work or used to work at La Cocina de la Familia, so the restaurant was like our second home. Growing up, I probably spent more time there than at the house.”