See Me(106)

Tightness in her chest.

Oh my God…

This wasn’t normal.

She couldn’t breathe.

Her vision continued to narrow and her thoughts began to slip.

She was having a heart attack and needed an ambulance.

She was going to die on the side of the road.

Her phone began to ring, but she only vaguely heard it sound half a dozen times before it went silent. It dinged a moment later, someone texting.

The muscles in her chest tightened.

She couldn’t get enough air.

Her heart continued to pound and terror set in, feeding on the knowledge that she was going to die.

She rested her head against the steering wheel, waiting for the end.

But it didn’t come.

Instead, she simply continued to die little by little over the next few minutes, until she was no longer dying at all.

In time, she was able to lift her head from the steering wheel. Her breathing eased and her peripheral vision was returning. Her heart still pounded, but it felt less intense.

A few minutes later, she began to feel better. Still shaky, but better, and though it seemed impossible, she understood that she hadn’t been having a heart attack.

Instead, she knew her panic attacks had returned.





It was another half hour before she felt completely normal, and by then she was already in her office. Barney wasn’t around, but he’d left a new matter for her – the regional hospital was being sued by a family over an infection called pseudomonas that had eventually led to a patient’s death – along with a hastily scrawled note asking her to get started on finding the appropriate legal decisions necessary to bolster their defense.

She was pondering the entry point for her research when her cell phone rang. She glanced at it, then looked closer, making sure she hadn’t been mistaken. Serena?

She pressed the button, connecting the call. “Hey,” she said, “what’s up?”

“Are you okay?”

“Why?”

“I called earlier but you didn’t answer,” Serena chirped.

“Sorry,” Maria said, thinking back on the panic attack. “I was in the car.” The truth, even if it wasn’t the whole truth. She wondered what Colin would think about that.

“How goes it with the investigation?”

“Nothing yet.”

“Have you called Margolis?”

“If I don’t hear from him today, I will.”

“I probably would have called already.”

“I’m sure. So… what’s up?”

“What do you mean?”

“You never call me this early. And why aren’t you in class?”

“It starts in a few minutes, but I just had to tell someone. I got an e-mail last night, and it turns out that I’m one of the three finalists for the scholarship. I guess the dinner at Mom and Dad’s must have had a positive influence… Though the e-mail didn’t exactly say it directly, I think I might actually be in the pole position.”

“Pole position?”

“Yeah. You know, when they restart a race following a wreck or whatever, that’s the car in the first position.”

“I know what it is. I’m just curious how you know what it is.”

“Steve watches a lot of NASCAR. He makes me watch it, too.”

“So it’s really a relationship now?”

“I don’t know… there’s this really cute guy in one of my classes. He’s a little older though, and he’s dating my sister, so that might be a problem.”

“That is a problem.”

“I’m just glad you put your ego aside and went to talk to him.”

“It had nothing to do with my ego.”

“Ego, close encounter at a bar fight, same thing.”

“You’re insane, do you know that?”

“Sometimes,” Serena admitted. “But it’s worked out so far.”

Maria laughed. “That’s great news,” she said. “About the scholarship, I mean.”

“I don’t want to get too excited just yet. Don’t tell Mom or Dad.”

“I wasn’t the one who told them last time.”

“I know,” she said. “Do they still think you’ve been staying in the dorm with me?”

“Yes. And it’s my turn to say don’t tell them.”

Serena laughed. “I won’t say anything. But I’m pretty sure Mom knows that you’ve been staying with Colin. Of course, she’s operating under the don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy, which means it probably won’t come up tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah, tonight.”

“What’s tonight?”

“You’re kidding, right? Mom’s birthday? Family dinner? Don’t tell me you forgot.”

Oops. “Uh…”

“Seriously? Do you never check out my posts? Or my tweets? I know you’ve got a lot going on, but how could you forget Mom’s birthday?”

She’d have to cancel dinner with Jill and Leslie, but they’d understand, right? “I’ll be there.”

“Are you going to bring Colin?”