Seduction (Curse of the Gods #3)(12)
“The only being who might be able to clue you in on turning from dweller to sol, or whatever you are now, is the Creator. And I wouldn’t think it wise to present yourself to him carrying a Beta Chaos power.”
Emmy was so smart. She deduced things that I only knew because I was living in this world and had the knowledge of five god-brothers. She was also clearly using my lesser problem to distract me from bringing up Atti again—which, admittedly, was exactly what I wanted to do.
“Rau is going to use me, Em,” I sighed, falling back against the wall again. If Emmy wanted to talk about Chaos, I’d talk about Chaos. “He’s going to take this power and try and overthrow everything, and I have no damn idea how to stop him because I can’t even stop myself from tripping over my own feet. Or being naked. Or making the entire school naked.”
Emmy let out a bark of laughter, loud and harsh. “Willa Knight, I did not just hear you say that. You have more control and strength then any dweller or sol I know. You were born of Chaos. You’ve always controlled it, right from the sun-cycle you stumbled into this world—your mum wouldn’t stop telling that story of how she birthed you and you almost came out backwards. I never used to think it was true, but now I’m convinced.”
I laughed along with her, but my mind was starting to spin. Born of Chaos. It was an odd way to phrase it, but I guess in a way she was right. Unknown father. Absent, mess of a mother. My life had never been calm, it had always been chaos. Emmy had joined that chaos because her perfectly normal life had been pulled apart by death, but she was not born of chaos like me—for her, it was simply a by-product of being close to me.
Neither of us spoke again for some time, each of us lost in our own thoughts, each of us battling our own demons. It wasn’t until she let out a small sigh that the spell was broken, and I found myself reaching out to the side and snagging her around the shoulders, pulling her to me. She resisted for a bit, but I wouldn’t let her escape this time. I just held on tight, wrapping both of my arms around her, and hugged her as tightly as I could without crushing her ribs.
She was stiff, unresponsive, and it had almost reached the point of awkward—where I was about to chalk this up to another failure, and hope to try again later—when a much heavier sigh escaped from her. It whooshed past my ear, blowing my curls back, and then she collapsed against me. She felt so frail in my arms, her thin frame shaking; the intensity of it rattled me. Her chest was heaving with sobs, her breath wheezing in and out as she tried to draw in air and cry at the same time. It was like an avalanche trying to fit through a tiny hole in the side of a mountain, there was so much pain rushing from her with no way to easily escape.
The sudden ache in my chest was so intense that I wondered for a moment if I was having a heart attack. Eventually I realised that my own cheeks were wet, and that my arms were trembling almost as much as Emmy’s as I tried to wrap myself even tighter around her. I felt like I could put her back together just by holding her—all of the broken pieces and the jagged edges that she had been locking away since she lost Atti.
I didn’t know how long we cried for, but eventually the anguished gasps and sobs died off from Emmy, and I started to gently rub her back while whispering nonsensical words of comfort. I told her that we would go back to our village one sun-cycle; that we would explore all over Minatsol, and that I would never let anyone hurt her again. That Atti loved her and would want her to be happy, and that we would all be together again, when the time was right. I had no idea if any of it was true, but they were secret dreams and wishes I held in my own heart, and it felt better to wish them out loud.
She finally fell asleep against me, and I was only slightly disappointed that there had been no revelations about what she was up to with those sols. But we had made progress, and I would have to accept that.
For now.
Untangling myself from Emmy, I tucked her into the bed and spun around to leave the room. I barely managed to cut off my shriek at the shadow there, my feet tangling up as I reached for one of Emmy’s shoes and tossed it blindly. Siret lazily batted it away, sending it into the wall with a muted thud. All five of the Abcurses were standing beyond the doorway to Emmy’s room. All five of them, leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over their chests, expressions sombre.
“How long have you guys been standing there?” I whispered low enough that it might not wake up Emmy. I hadn’t heard or noticed them outside. I hadn’t felt them in our soul-link, or even felt the twinges of pain from their absence while they hadn’t been there. “You were here the entire time?”
Siret shook his head, before holding his arms out to me. Without hesitation, I walked into them, and he wrapped me up as tightly as I had wrapped up Emmy. That ache in my chest increased, and I fought against the emotions that wanted to swamp me.
“Your pain …” Siret’s low murmur drifted to me, and I remembered how they had told me long ago that they could feel my pain.
Another set of arms replaced Siret’s and the burnt sweetness was the only hint I needed to know that it was Aros.
“Felt like your heart was breaking,” he grunted softly, before picking me up off my feet and moving us further away from the room. I heard Emmy’s door click shut, and then his voice rose again to a normal level. “We don’t know if it’s the soul-link, or just because we’ve all spent so much time together, but we can’t ignore it …”