Secret Heir (Dynasty #1)(99)

I’m sprawled out on the big ass bed in my equally big ass bedroom, talking to Dani on my cell later that night.

“You mean about you and Raph?” Dani supplies.

“Yeah, Magnus has this all seeing, all knowing thing about him that gives me the creeps sometimes,” I reply.

Dani snorts in response.

“Does it matter if he knows?” she asks me then.

I can’t seem to answer that straight away. Raph’s words to me on that last day of semester has floored me and has changed everything between us. But it doesn’t make things any less complicated between us. Quite the contrary, in fact, and I’m not about to plunge head first into the mess that is surely to follow once Jethro St. Tristan finds out. I have a feeling that Magnus would be less than thrilled, too. Despite wanting desperately to hear those words from Raph, I knew from the moment he said them what the fall out would be and I guess I’m just afraid of the consequences. For him more than for myself.

I thought that once everything was out in the open, and I knew where I stood with Raph, things would be clearer, easier. But it seems like as soon as we get past one hurdle, another one just appears in its place. As soon as one question is answered, another more difficult one is posed. I wonder why everything has to be so hard when it comes to Raph. I tell myself that it’s because it’s worth having. But I wonder for a second whether I’m just fooling myself again.

“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully, letting out a long breath.

Dani doesn’t push it, and I change the subject quickly.

“So, how’s things with your folks?” I ask.

“It’s great, I’ve missed them, so it’s nice to be home,” she replies. She goes on to tell me about her jam sessions with her dad. Apparently, he’s an amazing guitar player and taught Dani all she knows about music.

I lie back and listen to her talk enthusiastically about home and her family. I’m reminded of my own memories with my mom, her teaching me how to pick up a paintbrush for the first time, how to mix colors and the wonder that I felt when she showed me all those things. I feel a pang of wistfulness, but I don’t feel bitter. If anything, hearing Dani talk about her family is strangely comforting. It reminds me that loss isn’t the only thing that exists in the universe.

“Have you seen Baron around?” I ask after a while.

“No, the Aldebran estate is pretty big, so I doubt I’ll bump into him,” she replies. I hear a pause in there somewhere but I don’t read anything into it. Why would Dani need to lie about bumping into Baron?

“You seeing Raph tonight?” she asks then.

“Yeah, he called earlier to say he’s coming later tonight.”

My cell vibrates against my ear then, telling me I’ve got a message. Speak of the devil.

“Gotta go, Dan. Raph’s here,” I say, as I climb off the bed and head out of my bedroom.

“Okay, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she replies breezily.

“Likewise,” I say almost absently.

Dani lets out a weary sigh, but we’ve both hung up before I can make heads or tails of it. Weird. I make a mental note to prod her later.

I text Raph and tell him to meet me by the side entrance. It’s late, so Magnus should be asleep, as should most of the staff. But I don’t want to risk anyone seeing Raph waltz in through the main entrance hall.

He has a wry smile on his face when I greet him at the east wing entrance.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were sneaking me in,” Raph says.

I roll my eyes in response.

“Just get in here.”

He drops a lingering kiss on my lips, which suddenly makes me want to get him back to my bedroom as soon as possible. But I pull away after a few moments, fully conscious that we’re still standing in the middle of the service kitchen.

I turn on my heel and motion for Raph to follow me, but I don’t miss his responding smirk.

The good thing about living in a palace is that the place is so damn huge and the walls so thick, that I’m sure Magnus won’t even sense Raph’s presence here tonight. I don’t know where Magnus’s quarters are, but I’m pretty sure it’s not in the same wing as mine. Perfect. I know from Baron and Keller’s complaints, that Raph and I aren’t always as discreet as we like to believe and the thought of Magnus being awakened by the sound of us in the middle of the night is more than mortifying.

When we get back to my room, I flop down on the bed and Raph stretches out beside me. I turn on my side to look up at him as he props his head up on his elbow. My room is dark, apart from the soft glow of the bedside lamp, but still Raph’s beauty is devastating. God, I wonder for the hundredth time if there will ever come a time when I can look at him without feeling like the breath has been punched out of my lungs and he’s looking at me as if he’s wondering the same thing about me.

I notice that his expression seems pre-occupied, though, his eyes a darker shade than usual.

“What’s wrong?” I ask gently.

He doesn’t answer for a moment, reaching out to touch his fingertips to my cheek instead. I lean in to the touch and cover his hand with my own.

Something flickers in the depths of those midnight blue eyes, but I can’t read it and a moment later it’s gone, replaced by that heart stopping smile that always makes my insides feel weak.