Run To Me (Lazarus Rising #4)(71)

He smiled at her. “Love you.”

She started to smile, too. Because what she’d done hadn’t mattered to him. And he’d shot Lucas, to make sure the bastard wouldn’t come after her again. He’d fought for her, he’d—

Jay fell.

And Willow grabbed for him. Her hands flew over his body, and she heard herself yelling his name.

Just like that—in that one terrible flash—her worst fear came true.

Jay’s blood. My hands in Jay’s blood. A knife near us.

Her worst fear. Turned into reality.

“Don’t leave me!” Willow begged him. “Please, Jay!”

But Jay wasn’t answering her.

***

“The EMTs said they lost him twice on the way to the hospital.”

Willow’s shoulders hunched. Sawyer’s voice was low, but she could hear him easily even though he stood ten feet away, talking with Elizabeth.

“They believed it was a miracle he made it here, but they weren’t thinking he was going to last much longer.”

Her body rocked forward, then back, and her gaze never left the operating room doors.

“He shouldn’t have left the hospital.” Elizabeth’s angry response. “He’d been shot three times! Jay is smarter than this. He’s—”

“He loves you.”

Willow jerked. West had just stepped in front of her. She’d been so intent on listening to Elizabeth and Sawyer that she hadn’t even noticed him, and West’s words had stabbed right through her.

“Jay loves you, Willow. You know that, don’t you?”

She could feel the tears on her cheeks.

“That’s why he left the hospital when he should have been in bed. Why the fool let himself get stabbed, just so he could distract Lucas. Why he was willing to take any risk.”

His words weren’t helping her. They were just making her hurt worse.

“It’s not about atoning. Not about any BS that someone else might tell you.” He exhaled. His face appeared grim. “My brother loves you, and I want to know, just how do you feel about him?”

“He can’t die.” A hoarse whisper. “I can’t lose him.”

“And what would you do to keep him? Turn him into a Lazarus test subject? Take all his memories away, give him a life where he doesn’t know anyone?” He paused a beat. “Where he doesn’t remember you?”

She didn’t care if Jay didn’t remember her. As long as he lived. As long as he was there. As long as—

“Right,” West drawled out the word. “That’s what I thought. It’s easy to blame others for the choices they made, when you’re not walking in their shoes.”

She didn’t know what he was talking about. Jay—

“Your father didn’t make the easy call. But that man—bastard that he is—he loves you. So maybe before he leaves this earth, you can take some time to tell him that you forgive him. And that you understand.” His lips twisted. “But first, why don’t you go back to the recovery room and see my brother? Because I know he wants to see you.”

It took a few moments for his words to register. A few moments too long. Then she was surging forward. Grabbing his shirt in her hands. Fisting it. “Jay’s awake? Jay’s alive?”

“Yes to both.” His smile softened his face. “And even though you didn’t say the words, I could see the truth. Good to know you love my brother as much as he loves you.”

She shoved him out of the way. Threw an apology over her shoulder.

Just heard his laughter in response.

Willow ran down the hallway, rushing past nurses and doctors. Everyone passed her in a blur, or maybe she was the blur who sped past them. Soon she was in recovery—she could see the thin curtain that separated her from Jay. She could feel him.

Her fingers curled around the curtain. Someone grabbed her shoulder, telling her that she shouldn’t be there.

She ignored that someone.

She yanked aside the curtain.

Jay.

Jay was in that bed. Jay’s eyes were closed. His head was turned toward her. The machines around him beeped steadily.

“Miss, you shouldn’t be here,” a woman told her sharply. The woman who’d grabbed her. “Only family can visit back here!”

Jay’s eyes opened. They locked on her. And he smiled. “She is my family.” His right hand extended toward Willow. “She’s my home.”

It was hard for her not to pounce on him right then and there.

The nurse backed away. Willow lurched forward. Her steps were uncertain and scared.

He kept his hand stretched out to her. Her shaking fingers reached for his. Their hands linked. Joined.

She couldn’t even speak. A lump was in her throat, nearly choking her. He’d survived. He was alive. He was safe.

And he…

“Am I a super soldier?” Jay’s lips lifted at the corners. “Tell me the truth. How awesome am I now?”

A tear slipped down her cheek.

“Willow?” His smile left. “I was…teasing. I know I’m—”

She threw her arms around him. Buried her face in his neck. “Don’t ever die.” The EMTs said he died twice on the way to the hospital.