Run To Me (Lazarus Rising #4)(54)

She had goosebumps on her arms. “It’s more.”

A furrow appeared between his brows. “What?”

“I saw him. Had other flashes. He wanted me.”

“You saw the sonofabitch killing you?”

She shook her head. “No. A man…found me. Said we belonged together.” And the motel room had been the same. She shivered again.

He stepped closer to her.

“I think that I was afraid of him.”

“A lover.”

She couldn’t be sure, not with so many memories gone, but… “I believe so.”

Rage burned in his stare. “Wyman knows the guy’s identity. If he hurt you, Wyman should have taken the SOB out.”

“Maybe he couldn’t.” Not if he’d made a monster. And this was nagging at her. “Are we so sure that Lazarus was Wyman’s first experiment?”

Shock covered Jay’s face. “Fucking hell.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Should have thought…of course, the guy didn’t start with Lazarus. You don’t go all in from the very beginning. I bet he’s been doing work with soldiers for years. Making them stronger, better.”

That was what she feared.

“He’ll tell us,” Jay vowed with certainty. “When he’s out of surgery, the guy will tell us what we need to know. I saw the way he looked at you. You are his priority. He’ll give me the bastard’s name. We’ll find him.”

She rubbed her arms. “You think that he’s the one who’s been doing all this?”

“The shot at the club? The fire? Sure as hell could be. Right now, he’s at the top of my list.” He came even closer, but he didn’t touch her. She wanted him to, but he didn’t. “I know you want to run.” His voice was low. Rumbling. “I know you want to head the hell away from me as fast as you can.”

“It’s not—”

“But I need you to stay. Until we figure out what’s happening, until we know who he is…stay. Let me help you. Let the others help. You don’t have to be alone in this world.”

She’d been alone in that motel room. Alone on the floor. Bleeding out as she stared up at the cracks on the ceiling. Then Wyman had rushed to her side. Too late.

“I’ll keep my hands off you, don’t worry.” His lips thinned. “But don’t run again. Not yet, okay? Let’s see what the hell is happening. We need to work together. To be part of a team.”

Jay and Sawyer were a team. A team that included Flynn and Cecelia. And Elizabeth. And West. They were all working to find the rest of the Lazarus subjects. To see if those subjects were threats or if they were just people. People who needed help.

They’d found her. Or maybe she’d found them. But she’d never really felt like part of the team.

“I won’t stop you if you want to run. I’m not here to cage you, Willow. That’s not what I want.” His gaze blazed at her.

“What do you want?” She hadn’t meant to ask that question, had she?

He gave a grim laugh. “I think that’s obvious.”

“It’s not.”

“You, Willow. I want you.” He rolled back his shoulders. “Having you once, twice, three times didn’t cure me. It just made me need you more. There is no cure. But like I said, I can keep my hands off. Because this isn’t about sex. It’s not about me. It’s about you.”

He was doing that again. Putting her first when he shouldn’t be. Trying to protect her when she was the threat to him. “I’m scared.”

His hand lifted as if he’d touch her, but Jay seemed to catch himself. His hand froze in mid-air. “You aren’t alone, Willow. You were never alone. Hell, apparently, you had the guy who ran the U.S. government pulling every string he had to keep you alive. Wyman might be a bastard, but I think he loves you. You were never alone,” he said again. “And you don’t have to be alone now.”

She wanted to stay with him. And wanting that so much scared her even more. “We’ll wait. Find out who the threat is.”

Jay nodded.

“I’ll stay.” Her words were soft. He had no idea how much she wanted to stay. Didn’t know how hard it had been to leave.

Will I ever be able to leave him again?

His hand had lowered. He was staring straight at her. “Maybe the next time you do decide to run, baby, why don’t you think about running to me?”

“Jay…”

“I don’t have super strength. I can’t come back from the dead.” His expression was determined. Dangerous. “But I’d fight like hell to keep you safe. When will you see that? This isn’t about atonement for me. You’re more. Willow…” He sighed out her name. “So much more.”

And finally, some of the coldness that had settled inside of her eased. The image of the ceiling filled with cracks…of that threadbare carpeting…of all the blood—the image slowly faded.

Until all she saw was Jay.

Her lips parted. “Jay…”

The hospital room door swung open. “His wound reopened.” Elizabeth hurried inside. “Don’t know how this happened. I watched Dr. Brannon perform the surgery the first time.” She shook her head, sending her dark hair sliding over her shoulders. “Wyman is being put under right now. They’re going to take care of him, but it will be a while. And after the surgery, it’s going to be hours before he can talk again.”