Run To Me (Lazarus Rising #4)(39)

Willow’s gaze cut to the right. Jay was there. His shoulders were propped up against the wall, and his arms were crossed over his chest. His stare was on Cecelia.

“How are you feeling, Willow?” Cecelia asked carefully.

It wasn’t Willow’s first session with the shrink. She liked Cecelia. She was also uneasy around her. Because Cecelia could figure out how to get inside of everyone’s mind. Willow could touch a person and manifest their fears. But Cecelia could simply ask her careful questions and strip a person’s soul absolutely raw.

“Willow?” Cecelia prompted.

Willow pulled her gaze away from Jay. “Got to say,” she murmured. “I’m not at my best.”

“It’s almost dawn.” Cecelia gave her a quick smile. “And you’ve had a rather, um, eventful night.”

“Maybe we should wait until later for this,” Willow rushed to say. “If it’s nearly dawn, then—”

“I’m not going to stay long. Flynn will be coming for me soon. But I needed to check in with you, after everything that happened.”

Willow’s chin notched up. “You mean you had to check in to make certain I wasn’t going to flip out and attack everyone.”

“Yes.” Cecelia nodded. “I did.”

The woman didn’t pull her punches.

“You know I’m not going to lie to you, Willow. That’s not what I do. There was an extreme incident tonight, and I was asked to talk with you because we need to do a threat assessment.”

Willow wanted to look at Jay again. Because she wanted it so badly, she kept her eyes glued to Cecelia. “I didn’t—Jay said I didn’t make him see his fears.”

“No.” Cecelia’s voice was gentle. “You didn’t. You fought whatever compulsion or trigger Wyman gave to you.”

Her hands dug into the bed covers. “If I fought it, then that means Wyman can’t control me.”

“You did lunge across the room. You went for Jay. But something stopped you before you could follow through on the attack.” Cecelia tilted her head to study Willow. Her red hair trailed over her shoulder. “What do you think that was?”

“I don’t remember everything clearly. I just remember bits and pieces.”

“I’ve found that Lazarus test subjects maintain primitive responses and memories the best. Fear is very primitive. So is rage. Were you afraid in that room?”

“Yes.”

“Were you angry?”

“Y-yes…”

“Can you remember what Wyman said to you?”

Willow shook her head.

“What do you remember then?”

“I remember being over Jay. Staring down at him.”

“Good. That’s good, Willow. Tell me…how did you feel right then?”

Jay was watching. She’d asked him to watch, to stay, but now… “Can he leave?”

She felt Jay’s start of surprise.

“Forget it.” She huffed out a breath. Maybe he should hear this. “I felt ashamed. He’d treated me like I was normal, and then I was going to hurt him. I was like some kind of attack dog, that’s how I felt. Like I’d been given prey to target. And I looked down and it was Jay, and I couldn’t.”

“Do you remember how you felt right then? At that exact moment when you realized you were about to hurt Jay?”

“Frozen.” Inside and out. Unable to move. “I wanted to say something to him, I wanted to pull away, but I couldn’t move at all.” Helplessly, her gaze darted to Jay. She found his stare on her.

Another shiver slid over Willow, and she made herself glance back at Cecelia.

Only to realize that Cecelia had caught her telling look toward Jay. The shrink was far too observant to miss any detail, no matter how small.

“What happened next?” Cecelia prompted in her calm, steady voice.

“I heard a gunshot. It was like the sound woke me up. I ran toward it.” Her breath came a little faster, her heart beat faster. “I found Jay crouched over Wyman. Blood was on Jay’s hands.” Her lips pressed together.

“And then…?” Cecelia prompted her.

“Then I attacked.” Heat stung her cheeks.

“There was no trigger word from Wyman this time? You attacked on your own?”

“I was…something broke inside of me.” The only way to describe it. “I was just left with fury. Fear.” Her lashes swept over her cheeks. “I couldn’t lose him.”

“Jay? You couldn’t lose Jay?”

No. Wyman. “He did something to me.” She looked up. “To my mind. Whatever Wyman did, you have to undo. Get him out of my head.”

“I’ll try,” Cecelia said. She nodded once, briskly, then said, “Jay, I need to talk with you outside.” She rose to her feet. “I think you should just rest for a while, Willow. Get some sleep.” She turned for the door.

Willow rose, too. “You mean I should rest, in here.”

Jay was at the door. So was Cecelia. The shrink glanced over her shoulder, and her hazel gaze was sad. “Yes.”

Because Cecelia thought that Willow was a threat. One who had to be contained. Willow’s gaze swept over the room. All the comforts of home, only it was a prison. “Right. That’s fine. Things will be different in the morning.” The lie came easily.