Ruined (Ruined, #1)(37)

“Did you see his other daughter? Emelina? Is she still alive?”

“I didn’t see Emelina.” Her own name sounded strange, said out loud to Cas.

“My father wanted her dead too.” Cas swallowed. “But she disappeared after her family was killed. And why would you care about a useless Ruined? If she doesn’t have any powers, she’s not dangerous.” He seemed to be talking more to himself than Em.

“True,” she said with a hint of bitterness.

“I’ve always thought it was kind of harsh, to call them ‘useless.’”

“It’s the most apt description,” she said.

“They can resist a Ruined’s power, if they want, right? That seems like something. I wouldn’t mind having that ability.”

“The Ruined don’t attack each other,” she said. “So that ability is just as they describe it—useless.”

He looked at the ground again, his face drawn. It didn’t seem like Cas was bothered by long silences, or even noticed they were happening. She waited a few moments, until he started talking again.

“He isn’t much older than me,” he said quietly. “I’ve been thinking about how I would feel if the tables were turned. If it were me, captured by the Ruined, waiting to die. I think I would be terrified. And really angry.”

“Angry,” she repeated.

“Because what did he do?” His voice was almost a whisper. “If I’m being totally honest, that’s why I got mad at you when you said that about my father. I think you’re right. We’re executing all these people for a crime we think they might commit. We think they might be evil. They brought Damian in because he was trying to cross into Olso, which technically has nothing to do with us. What else has he done? Why does he deserve what they did to him last night?” He gestured at her. “If he was one of the Ruined who killed your parents, shouldn’t you decide how he’s punished?”

“Yes.” Most of her anger had evaporated, leaving a heavy feeling in her chest and a sudden desire to wrap her arms around Cas. “And if it were up to me, I wouldn’t do anything like your father.”

He nodded, a sad expression on his face. It must have been painful, to realize your father was a monster.

She cleared her throat. “Are you going to tell your father any of what you said to me, or am I the only one brave enough to speak my mind to your father?”

He cocked his head to the side as he studied her. He took several quick steps forward, until he was right in front of her, and put both his hands on her cheeks. Her entire body collapsed in a heap when he touched her, and she couldn’t stop herself from curling her fingers around one of his arms. His skin sparked and sizzled beneath her fingers. He was fire she could touch. She held on tighter.

“My father was wrong.” His eyes burned into hers. “You should never be nice.”

His gaze dropped to her mouth, and she thought for a moment that he might kiss her. But he noticed something behind them, and he stepped back as a staff member passed by.

She lightly brushed her fingers across her cheek, still searing from his touch. “I’ll make sure to not be nice to you from now on.”

His lips twitched up. “Good.” He held out his hand and she slowly slipped her fingers through his. “Are you ready to go back in? We can go be not nice away from those hunters.”

She barely moved her thumb against his hand, returning his smile. “Let’s do it.”

Em spent the evening avoiding the hunters, sticking to Cas’s side as they moved around the room saying hello to governors, friends, and the king’s advisers. Cas held her hand for most of the evening, ensuring that she forgot everyone’s name as soon as they said it. She had only a vague recollection of the evening, except for how Cas’s skin felt against hers. She remembered every detail of that.

“I need to go talk to Jovita,” Cas said as the dinner began winding down. “She’s been giving me that look for an hour.”

Jovita was jerking her head with a frown, indicating that she wanted to talk to Cas.

“She probably wants to complain about me,” Em said as Cas slipped his hand out of hers. “Tell you to get me in line.”

“Would you let me get you in line?” Cas asked with a laugh.

“Oh, definitely not.”

“That’s what I thought.” He grinned at her over his shoulder as he walked away, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him until he was halfway across the room. A piece of his shirt had come untucked in back, and she wanted to grab it and pull him back to her.

She cleared her throat and pushed the thought away. She was being ridiculous. She had bigger things to worry about than Cas and his adorably rumpled clothes.

She glanced over at the hunters’ table. Roland had left for the night, but Willem was still there, his cheeks red from the wine. His brow furrowed as he stared at something across the room.

He was staring at Aren.

An icy hand grabbed her heart. He was looking at Aren as if he recognized him.

Aren noticed his gaze but was obviously trying to pretend he hadn’t. He turned to the right, saying something to the guard next to him. He caught Em’s eye for half a second, and she could read the fear in his expression. He recognized Willem too.

Aren stepped away from the line of guards, scratching the side of his face as he strolled out of the room. He was clearly trying to be casual, but Em recognized the stiff line of his shoulders.