Rock Chick Reborn (Rock Chick #9)(25)

He seemed sage about this beginning-to-date shit.

But even I hadn’t been out of the game long enough to know that was seriously not right.

“My man, ain’t no way I can pretend you’re one of my girls.”

“I know. But I had to give it a shot because I wanna know what’s on your mind.”

You had to hand it to the brother, he didn’t beat around the bush.

“My nephew Darius and me had a convo this morning, and it just . . . it . . .” I couldn’t finish because I didn’t know what to say.

“It just what, sweetheart?” he pressed gently.

“We never talked about some things we probably should have talked about a long time ago.”

“And you talked about those things this morning?”

“As much as Darius would let me,” I shared. “He isn’t a big get-your-feelings-out-there-and-process kind of brother.”

“Just in case you haven’t figured this out yet, there aren’t many brothers who are that kind of brother,” Moses pointed out.

I knew that was the truth.

“Though I got no problem with that shit,” he added.

Fantastic.

“I know you aren’t cool with it, but did he seem cool with it when you got done talking?” he asked.

“We both got regrets.”

“Everyone has regrets.”

I heard that.

It was just that some were more extreme.

“We both got guilt.”

“Shirleen—”

I cut him off. “I know you’re gonna say be in the now, but that’s my boy and I fucked him up. He was Roam and Sniff’s age when it happened and now I got a second chance, and what if I fuck that up?”

“You and your nephew are both on the righteous path and those two boys you got under your roof, Shirleen, you know if their path was going to be different, they would have gone down it by now and they’d be in a different place. Not manning the control room at Nightingale Investigations or goin’ grocery shoppin’ with their momma. They’d be dealers, rent boys or dead.”

I had nothing to say to that, mostly because it was true.

And it gave me the shivers just to think about it.

Moses, however, still had shit to say.

“You say you fucked one up, but he’s still standing and he made it to the other side, and he did that with you. But straight up, you saved two so I think your record’s pretty fuckin’ good, baby. Think on that.”

I would.

I’d think on that.

Because I liked the way he saw it and I hadn’t seen it that way.

“They don’t know about you yet,” I blurted.

The smile came through when he replied, “I didn’t figure you shared about your ambush date over Cream of Wheat this morning.”

He could give it straight, I needed to do that too.

“I’m not sure they’re gonna be super hip on you.”

“They’ve had you to themselves for a while, Shirleen. But neither of those two struck me as momma’s boys, and they might be protective in the beginning, but if this works, I’ll win them over in the end.”

“I don’t think I’m gonna say anything for, you know . . . a little while. Just, you know . . . to see. No reason for any drama if there’s, uh . . . eventually no reason for that drama.”

“I’m doing the same thing.”

I nodded. “Wise.”

“When the time comes, though, the girls are gonna love you.”

I was not thinking about this.

This was not in my now.

I had enough scary shit in my now. I didn’t need to add to it.

“Mm-hmm,” I mumbled.

He chuckled.

“I like your laugh,” I whispered.

“I like yours too, sweetheart,” he whispered back. “Need to get you to a place where I hear it more often.”

“I laugh a lot.”

“Not around me.”

“That’s because you’re scary as hell.”

“That’s the place we gotta get you around to get you to the right place.”

I tipped my head to the side. “You got this shit down, how many women have you dated since your divorce?”

“I didn’t keep track.”

“Is that another way of saying you lost count?”

He chuckled again, but did it as he said, “No.”

“This is not an answer to my question, Moses.”

“I haven’t been celibate, but I’m not a player. Promise that, Shirleen. That answer work for you?”

“I ’spose,” I mumbled.

“No offense, just getting it out there, but you haven’t hidden you’re out of practice.”

Fabulous.

He kept going, “So we’ll take this at your pace, baby. Just as long as we’re moving forward for as long as that works for both of us, I don’t care how slow we go.”

“You know the scariest part about you, Moses?” I asked.

“Hit me with it, Shirleen.”

“You seem too good to be true.”

There was a weighty pause before, “I’m human. I’m gonna fuck up. Tick you off. Annoy the hell out of you. I’m not givin’ you the good stuff and hidin’ the bad to get in there. This, where this is at right now, I’m takin’ as indication that we got something good to work with. Normally, the red flags fly right off. That said, there’ll come a day when you won’t feel that. I just hope that day you still feel this foundation we’re building and wanna use it to work whatever it is through.”