Right Where We Belong (Silver Springs #4)(92)

But being abandoned put what he’d experienced on a whole new level. He had to bear deep scars, just as Gordon did. Savanna didn’t think Gavin would ever react the same way, by physically harming others, but if Gavin carried that much pain, it could manifest itself at any time and change all kinds of things.

“Why didn’t he tell me?” She was mostly speaking to herself, but Heather was only too happy to supply the answer.

“Why would he? The only people he tells are the ones he trusts. That’s how you can determine how he really feels about you. What he has with you? It won’t last.”

Suddenly struggling to draw a full breath in the overheated, overcrowded, cologne-and perfume-drenched hallway, Savanna broke Heather’s hold on her arm. “Get out of my face.” Because she didn’t want to get trapped in the bathroom with Gavin’s ex, she jumped out of line. But she couldn’t bring herself to go back into the main area, where Gavin was performing. She wished she could leave, but she didn’t have a car and was an hour from home, so she simply went outside, where she could breathe more freely.

Fortunately, Heather didn’t follow her. She seemed to be satisfied to have upset her.

“Damn it,” Savanna muttered. It was too soon to get involved with someone. For all she knew, Gordon would get out of jail and raise hell—or Heather would have the baby and draw Gavin back via guilt, obligation, the desire to be a good father or all three.





26

When Savanna didn’t return to her seat, Gavin grew worried about her. He took a break earlier than usual in his set so he could look for her and finally found her sitting on a bench out front. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

She glanced up. “Aren’t you supposed to be singing?”

“I’m on break.” He sat down next to her. “Don’t you like the show?”

She sent him a sideways glance. “I did until a few minutes ago.”

“What does that mean?” He looked truly confused.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

His stomach muscles tightened at the accusation and hurt in her voice. “About...”

“Your stepmother. Did she really abandon you at a park?”

Only a few hours ago, when they were driving to the bar, she’d been completely unaware. “Who told you?”

“You haven’t seen Heather tonight?”

He stiffened. “No...”

“She’s here. Or maybe she left. I haven’t been keeping an eye on the door. I’ve been trying to think, to decide if I’m racing toward a brick wall by falling in love with you.”

Gavin couldn’t help looking around in case he could spot his ex-girlfriend. Small clumps of people stood outside to talk or smoke, but she didn’t seem to be among them. That she’d shown up at his gig and upset Savanna made him angry, and yet he wasn’t all that surprised. He was more surprised that he hadn’t heard from her the past several days. He’d texted her on Wednesday to see how she was feeling and to tell her he’d be willing to go to her doctor appointments with her, if she needed the company, but she hadn’t responded. He suspected she was purposely holding out, hoping he’d stop over. He probably would have, to prove he’d be supportive even if they weren’t together, but he’d been loath to walk into an emotional ambush, and he was pretty sure that was what she had waiting for him.

“Savanna, I would’ve told you eventually,” he said. “But I don’t discuss my past often. I try not to let what happened impact the present.”

“How could a past like that not impact the present?” she asked.

“My life is different now. Thanks to Aiyana and Eli and most of my other brothers, I’m whole and happy. I refuse to let what I went through as a child damage my ability to find peace and joy in my existence.”

“Is that a decision you—or anyone else—can make?”

“It’s more of a process than a decision,” he admitted. “But I’ve been wrestling with my demons for years, and I believe I’m winning the battle.”

“Heather told me that you’ll go back to her once she has the baby. That you won’t be able to do anything else. And the more I get to know you, the more I understand who you are, I could see you making that decision. So...I’m not sure I can come out of this in one piece, no matter how supportive I am of your relationship with the baby.”

“I already tried to start over with Heather for the sake of the baby, remember? But it didn’t go anywhere, couldn’t even get off the ground, because it was too late.”

“In what way?” she asked. “The baby isn’t even born yet.”

He stared at her for several seconds. He’d been asking himself that same question over and over. Why hadn’t he been able to fulfill the duty he felt? And he always came back to the same answer. “I’d met you and was already falling in love.”

Her lips parted and her eyes widened. “That fast?”

“I think it happened the day I met you and you told me you were going to become a lesbian,” he said with a laugh. “So what do you think? We’re both going through some crazy shit. But if I hand over my heart, will you be willing to trust me with yours?”

She broke into a slightly begrudging smile. “I guess I’ve been sitting out here for nothing, because I don’t really have any choice.”