Right Where We Belong (Silver Springs #4)(54)

“Sounds like you admire him...”

“I’m so sick of the police it’s hard not to start rooting for the bad guys.”

“You’re not one of those ‘bad guys’?”

“How many times do I have to say it?”

“Sullivan is convinced you killed Emma.”

“Why would you even listen to that bastard? He’s treated you like shit from the beginning, and everyone knows you haven’t done anything wrong.”

She ignored the part about the way Sullivan had treated her, even though it was true. The police had not been her friend. Because she had a possible motivation for hiding the truth, they’d considered her less than trustworthy from the beginning, which had alienated her even more—and caused the community to react in much the same way. “Emma Ventnor was only sixteen.”

“I told you, I’m not the one who kidnapped her!”

From what Savanna had read, there’d been no sign of a struggle. “You kept a rifle under the seat of your van.” He was a good marksman, too, looked forward to deer hunting season all year. “You could easily have used that to convince her to get in with you.”

“I drove to remote places late at night. I had to have some way to defend myself, just in case. If I remember right, once upon a time, you thought carrying that rifle was a good idea.”

Because she’d believed him, believed almost anything he said. “Until that rape kit was found in our shed.”

“Here we go again!”

She broke in before he could add anything more. “Have you seen the news clip of her parents, crying and pleading for her safe return? Can you imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes, Gordon? What if we were those parents? What if Alia was the one who’d been taken?”

“That’s enough. I’m done with this topic.”

“Even though I’m upset and need to talk about it?”

“I only have so long. There are other guys waiting to use this phone. And I’d rather hear about my own kids. How are they?”

She hadn’t told him about Branson’s bed-wetting. She knew how it would make him feel about his son. He’d assume their boy wasn’t as strong or manly as he should be. “They’re fine.”

“And you? How’s my wife?”

“We’ve been down this road,” she said. “I’m not your wife, Gordon. Not anymore.”

“That’s what you say now. Sullivan has gotten inside your head. But I won’t be behind bars forever. I’m going to beat the charges. Then I’ll be out and will be the kind of husband and father I should’ve been in the first place. I realize now that I wasn’t attentive to you and the kids. I took you for granted. But I’ll be better. I promise.”

Squeezing her eyes closed, she let her head fall onto the back of the chair. “I don’t want you to be better.”

“It’s too loud here. These assholes never know when to be quiet. What’d you say?”

It wasn’t just what was happening on his end. She’d spoken softly, but she’d spoken the truth. Opening her eyes, she raised her voice. “I don’t want you to be better. I don’t want you at all.”

Silence. She’d always been so careful not to upset him or hurt his feelings. There was no telling what would trigger one of his infamous mood swings. Her words had to have come as a shock. But Detective Sullivan had asked her to rile him up, and arousing his jealousy was the quickest way to go about it.

“I’ll ignore that because you’ve been going through such a hard time.”

It surprised her that he was hanging on to his temper for a change. She’d have to push a little harder. “It’s not only that,” she said. “I’ve met someone else.”

That wasn’t merely a line calculated to upset him. It was true, she realized. She had met someone, someone who made her crave his company and his touch. That changed everything, made her determined to fight for the same type of magic in the future. That Gavin was leaving was beside the point. She could never go back to Gordon after meeting Gavin.

“What are you talking about?” he asked. “I’ve only been behind bars for two months. And you’ve been bitching the whole time about how miserable you’ve been. Are you saying you’ve had a boyfriend all along? Is that why you moved to California? The two of you left together?”

She started to laugh. She didn’t find what he’d said funny, and yet there didn’t seem to be a better way to respond, to cope. He’d always been so quick to accuse her of wanting someone else—and it had never been true, until now.

“You think it’s funny?” he challenged.

Hearing that frightening edge to his voice, the one that used to make the hair stand up on the back of her neck, she sobered. “No. Only ironic. While you were out stalking and raping women, I was waiting faithfully for you at home, hoping you’d eventually get around to showing me some small scrap of attention. I didn’t meet Gavin until I moved here.”

“Which was when?”

“On Friday.”

“Five days ago.”

“Yes. But I’ve changed and learned so much in those five days, it seems much longer.”

Although she could tell it was forced, Gordon barked out a laugh of his own. “Give me a break! You’ve barely met the guy, don’t even know him. It’s the stress of what we’re going through that makes him look so good, and he’s probably a big enough prick to take advantage of that.”