Right Where We Belong (Silver Springs #4)(12)

“Are you sure?”

He looked slightly confused as he pulled on those gloves. “Will you answer one question for me?”

“What is it?”

“Does this immediate stiff-arm have anything to do with my boys ranch history? Because we’ve barely met, and yet you’re already telling me you don’t want to get involved. I admit I find you attractive. Really attractive—”

“I have two kids,” she broke in, as if that should’ve been a deal breaker.

“I’ve met them,” he said with a wink. “I like kids. They don’t have to be mine. But I feel like you might be lumping me into the same category as your ex-husband simply because we both ran into a spot of trouble in our teenage years.”

He was far more up front than anyone she’d ever encountered. Taken aback by his frank honesty, she struggled to find an appropriate response and wound up focusing on what concerned her most. That “spot of trouble” he’d mentioned might not be a small thing. Gordon’s behavioral difficulties from the same period—his truancy, lying, stealing and general belligerence—had revealed that something was wrong, and it was never fixed, or he would not have done what he’d done later in life. He’d merely learned how to hide his worst self so that he could meld into society.

Still, she didn’t know Gavin, didn’t know if his behavior had been worse or better than Gordon’s when they were young, and owed him the benefit of the doubt. Not every boy who attended a boys ranch turned out to be a violent criminal. “I appreciate the compliment. I do. After what I’ve been through, any kind word feels good. And I’m sorry about what I said regarding the boys ranch last night. Your past has nothing to do with anything.”

“Then you’re just not into me.”

He said that with a twinkle in his eye, as if he was man enough to take no, if that was her answer. This had to be the most emotionally brave individual she’d ever met. She couldn’t help admiring his self-confidence. Gordon would never have risked his ego that way. “It’s not you specifically. I’m done with men. All men. I wish I’d never gotten involved with the one I married.”

He peered at her closer. “Certainly you’ve had other males in your life, besides your ex, who haven’t been that bad.”

“If you count my father and brothers. But that’s about the limit of my experience. I never had a steady boyfriend before Gordon. I met him my first day of college and got pregnant eighteen months later, at which point we both dropped out of school to get married.”

“And the marriage lasted...”

“Until two months ago.” She hadn’t officially filed at that time, but that was when she’d first begun to doubt Gordon’s innocence, which was the point of the real rift.

“Which makes you...what? Twenty-nine?”

“In two weeks.” She assumed they were similar in age. From his appearance, he couldn’t be much older.

“That’s young to be so jaded.”

“I can’t help it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“For...”

“Whatever he did.”

Apparently her kids had given up trying to find tadpoles. They were now scrounging around for rocks they could try to skip across the water. “So am I, especially for Branson and Alia.”

He moved to the back of the truck and lowered the tailgate. “I understand that you’ve been burned recently, but swearing off men completely seems a bit extreme. Surely you’ll recover at some point.”

“No. Never,” she insisted.

He started to slide out the two-by-twelves. “Never’s a long time. Won’t you get lonely?”

“Probably.”

“What will you do then?”

She drew a deep breath as she considered the question. It wasn’t realistic to think she wouldn’t crave some kind of companionship in the future. “Maybe I’ll become a lesbian.”

A grin tugged at his lips. She could tell he didn’t know whether to take her seriously. “Is that a joke?”

“No,” she said. Although this wasn’t an option she’d ever considered before, it did seem to solve the problem. She’d never heard of a woman raping anyone. Sure, that had probably happened somewhere in the world at one time or another, but the odds of encountering such an anomaly had to be small.

“You can’t judge all men by the actions of one,” he said.

He’d made that point before, but she was too traumatized to be so fair. “No, but I can take precautions.”

“Like changing your sexuality.”

“Yes.”

“That’s a pretty big deal. Please tell me you’re bi at least.”

“Not yet. But I’m hoping I’ll be able to change. I’m willing to try. I mean, I’ve already got kids, so I don’t need a man in order to have a family. And settling down with a sweet, harmless woman who will be happy to help me cook and clean and raise children—what could be better than that?”

As he carried two of the boards to a staging area near the moorings of the old bridge, she tried not to admire him in those jeans. He had one heck of a nice butt. She had to admit that much, despite her plans for a man-less future.