Revel (Second Chance Romance #1)(49)

Charlotte was sobbing now. None of it made her feel better. She always assumed it would, to know the person who killed her mother had led a terrible life and would one day hopefully die a terrible death. But now that she knew, she wished she didn’t. Suffering begets suffering and none of it is worthwhile. Charlotte couldn’t hear anything else.

“I can’t…” Charlotte said. “I can’t handle this. I don’t want anyone to suffer.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it,” Antonia said. “Oh, Charlotte I thought it would help!”

“It’s fine, Antonia,” Declan said. “We should go. I’ll take Charlotte home.”

They all stood, Antonia looking so panicked.

“I am so sorry,” she kept saying. “I didn’t mean to make you so sad.”

“It’s okay,” Charlotte said. “I’m just… It’s been a week of a lot of revelations. I need to go home.”

Declan walked her quickly to his car. As they pulled out of the muddy parking lot of Angel Oak Park, neither of them spoke. Not until they were off Johns Island.

“I don’t know what to say,” Declan said. “I wasn’t expecting her to say that. I just wanted you to see the tree and talk about my dad being scattered there when he eventually goes, and just have a moment away from things. But it made it worse and all I want is to make your life better.”

Charlotte stared out the window as the trees blurred by, “I’m not upset with her. Or you. I’m upset because of how much time has been wasted.”

“What do you mean?” Declan asked.

Charlotte turned to him, “We wasted ten years. Ten years we could have been together. All because of this f*cked up tragedy involving our mothers. And you know what? It’s not all your fault. It’s mine too. I pushed everyone away, I never made it easy for you to come back, even if you’d wanted to. And you were scared to hurt me more. I know that now. So you made yourself miserable. Just like your mother made herself miserable. All over fear. Fuck fear.”

Declan pulled over to the side of the road, his hands shaking.

“So what does that mean?” he asked.

“It means f*ck being afraid. I’m tired of it. I love you, Declan. Love me back and let’s get over this. Maybe it won’t be easy. There will be days it will be hard. There will be days where I don’t know if I can get out of bed, or days where I will resent your mother. But I will never resent you, Declan. And I hope you can do the same. Just love me. At the end of the day, there’s nothing else. We end up as ashes under a tree. Specks on the earth that’s just a speck in the universe. And I need to be that speck next to you, baby. I can’t go on anymore without that. I don’t want to end up like your mother-devastated and regretting all the things I should have done right. Let’s start making it right.”

Declan wasn’t one to cry. But after that speech, it was almost impossible not to.

“Charlotte,” he said. “I’m yours forever. I always was.”

“I know that,” she smiled through her tears. “Now let’s start living in that forever.”





Chapter Nineteen


Henry DeGraff passed away five days later. Declan and Charlotte were both by his side.

He’d been asleep for almost two days by then, doped up on narcotics, waiting for his body to finally give up. In the days before that he’d made his peace with Declan. And with Charlotte.

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you in,” Henry had told her. “I hid behind a lot of things. I thought the wrong kind of things were important. It’s a damn shame you don’t know that until it’s over.”

“It’s okay,” Charlotte said. “I hold no hard feelings. I never did. Honestly, I was in awe of you. What a presence you are, Henry.”

“And what a beautiful girl you are. You could do so much better than Declan,” he said and both Charlotte and Declan laughed.

“She hasn’t figured that out yet, Dad,” Declan said.

“I hope she never does.”

********

They scattered his ashes at midnight a few days later. Declan didn’t cry but Charlotte did. Not just for Henry. But for her mother. For Anna. For Melanie Hopp.

The losses made it hard to want to keep living, to keep loving. But that was the cost, Charlotte supposed. The pain of losing people was the price we paid for loving them at all.

As she watched Declan scatter his father’s ashes under a full moon, she couldn’t help but be grateful that if the pain was inevitable, she would be thankful it was Declan she got to feel it for.

********

They made love the next morning, right as the sun was peeking through the blinds of the carriage house. They were both craving the past, so they’d slept there that night. Waking up with him in her old bed gave her such contentment.

His thrusting was slow at first and she’d kissed his face as he went in and out of her. His cheeks, his mouth, his eyelids. She arched her back to come for him, to let him know what he was doing for her body.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I love you. You feel so good.”

He said nothing, just kissed her mouth long and hard as he released himself inside of her. She cried out afterwards and he withdrew and replaced his cock with his hand, rubbing her clit until she had finished again.