Rejected (Shadow Beast Shifters, #1)(87)

What I was feeling right now was more. Deeper.

The hug meant something to me.

How stupid was I to care about a fucking god who could never care about me outside of my usefulness to open the doorway to his realm? Yeah. Super stupid.

Surely, once he went back to being a total asshole—and we all knew he would—I could return him to a place of hate in my heart. That was safer and healthier for everyone involved.

Shadow appeared to be watching me as closely as I was watching him, but hopefully none of my softer feelings for him were showing on my face; he already had too much power over me, based solely on our station in the world. God versus shifter was a no-brainer. Everyone would put their money on Shadow. It was logic.

And the absolute last thing he needed to know was that my emotions were now involved.

Emotions made people do stupid shit and sacrifice their morals… I’d never give him that power.

Never.

“You noticed the fire was gone from the library?” he asked finally.

“Of course I did,” I exclaimed, ready to jump into this topic. “The lair is positively cold and barren without it.”

My words surprised him, if the slight flare of his pupils followed by those sinful lips pressing together was any indication. “I needed to use it for a spell,” he said, and I paid close attention because when Shadow was in a sharing mood, I learned a lot from him. “The flames will call the shadow creatures to one place, saving me the energy of tracking them individually. Easiest way to minimize the damage.”

Whoopsie. I really had to stop damaging shit. “Why didn’t you use the fire the first time I touched the shadows?”

Enigmatic stare.

Should have guessed that was all I’d get, but this time I didn’t let him get away with it, setting my face and crossing my arms—I was serious about wanting an answer.

Shadow released a breath before he shocked the crap out of me—again—by sitting next to me on the stone ledge. Was this the real Shadow Beast? Should I have been asking him some security questions only he’d know the answer to? Maybe we needed a secret code word, because he was acting way out of character.

“The fire protects my lair when I’m not there,” he said, his accent deeper in his rumbly voice.

“I’ve never let it go free, especially in a situation I could handle on my own. This new development is a little more complex, though, and to save time and energy, I decided to break out the big guns.”

“And why are you here and not following up on the fire?” I pushed, hoping his sharing mood would continue.

He focused on me in that disconcerting way of his. “The spell to draw all creatures from the Shadow Realm would affect me as well. It’ll infiltrate almost every world, except for Faerie.

Shadows are not welcome here, so here we’ll remain until the spell has run its course.”

A chuckle escaped from me. “Are you telling me that you could have been swept up in the spell as well, even though you cast it?”

His lips tilted up. “Yep. The power of my flames is beyond all others. None are immune, and even though their energy is keyed to my own, I would have not been able to resist their pull.”

Interesting.

“Didn’t know you had any weaknesses when it came to magic,” I said, sounding like I was joking, but it was the truth.

Shadow shook his head. “Everyone and everything in this world has weaknesses. Some have more than others.” I got a pointed look, like he thought I was the most fragile flower in the world.

What he had to remember, though, was like this garden, sometimes the most delicate flower had the strongest bite.

“Do you have a lot of weaknesses?”

He laughed, a throaty sound that genuinely seemed amused. “You’re refreshing in your directness.”

I’d never been called “refreshing” before, and he didn’t say it like a compliment, but coming from Shadow, I was taking it as one.

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

A spark of fire flamed in his eyes. “Not a chance, Sunshine. Two beings in this world know my weakness, and I’m not adding a third.”

It was my turn to laugh. “Fair enough.”

If all five of his best friends didn’t know, then I sure as fuck wasn’t getting on that Christmas card list.

My stomach chose that moment to grumble, reminding me I was hungry.

“Len went for food,” I said defensively when Shadow eyed my midsection, like it was about to grow legs and start walking around.

“I know. I relieved him of guard duty, so now it’s up to me to keep you alive.”

My smile faded as I stared him down. “I mean, are you really qualified for that job? You’ve basically tried to murder me daily since we first met. And that’s not even counting the days you locked me in my room without food.”

Shadow draped his arm around me, a sudden movement, and then I was surrounded by his warmth. It should have been too much, but it was weirdly perfect.

“You’re only alive because of me, Mera,” he said, no jest in those words. “I could have killed you at any moment, and despite my judgment insisting that it is you who might be a facet in my downfall, you’re still breathing.”

It was only as he all but swept me off the table that I realized something kind of huge. I’d hugged him before. Me making the first move, and there had been no pain. This wasn’t the first time recently that had happened—I’d dismissed the others, thinking he’d seen me coming and stopped the pain. But this time, I’d taken him completely by surprise, and still no fire raged across my nerve endings.