Rejected (Shadow Beast Shifters, #1)(19)

Wow, how reassuring. For everyone but me. I’d never expected to end up back here for my first shift, but I’d have to make the best of it now. My wolf was ready to run and nothing I did would stop her.

The air was freezing, but I was far from cold. My blood was an inferno as I tilted my head, letting my hair fall in loose waves down my back. As the energy grew in my gut, an almost unbearable swirl of power, it felt like my hair was swirling around my body too.

When the moon burst with the brightest light of the night, my eyes closed involuntarily against the glow, and my wolf spirit rose to be truly visible to me for the first time. A deep burning red covered her, like an aura, and as she pushed toward the surface, the barrier holding her fell away.

Be free. Run.

Her warmth brushed across my face, like a caress, but that was the end of any soft touches as the change took me over. Dropping to my hands and knees, pain burst across every nerve ending as my back arched, body elongating.

“I’ll help you through this…”

I’d missed most of the alpha’s speech, too focused on my wolf, but when those words registered, I almost laughed out loud—the only thing stopping me was that if I opened my mouth, I’d probably scream from the agony. I knew, for sure, that bastard would die before he’d lessen my pain in any way.

The crack of bones echoed across the clearing. I wasn’t the only one in the midst of debilitating pain, and as my fingers broke, sending me down to my forearms, I started to pray that no one attacked me while I had no chance of defending myself.

Shadow Beast. Help me survive this.

It always struck me as amusing that we worshiped an entity who was depicted as a dark, scary figure living in the shadows, more animal than human. Not to mention, he literally had the word beast in his name.

It was only a nickname, though—no one knew his original title. It was either a long-held secret or information lost to time, until eventually he was known only as Shadow Beast.

The one who stalks you in the night.

“Release your wolf!” Dean shouted, and this time there were screams as the strongest part of the change rendered us in a state somewhere between human and animal. At some point, the human part of my mind faded to the wolf, and when that happened, the pain was muted.

Free. Finally free. Run, run, run, run. Run in the moonlight. Chase the rabbit and scent the prey all around us. Pack. Family. Bonded. Alpha…

I’d lost myself, as all newly shifted wolves did.

She was instinct, ground beneath her feet, moonlight on her back, freedom in her heart.

As she dashed through the forest, the fuzzy place my human consciousness had been in lifted, and awareness filtered back through me. I found myself completely aware, riding along in the agile body of a wolf, and for a second, I freaked the fuck out.

What was happening?

What had jolted my brain back into normal mode so quickly?

Run together?

Damn, this was the trippiest thing I’d ever experienced, but it was also the most incredible. The wolf was still in control, even as more awareness returned to me, and when she dipped our head to scent the ground, one red and three white paws came into view. The rest of me appeared to be various shades of red, just like my hair, and I could have laughed at the irony of that. No Torma shifters had red hair, so there were no red wolves. Now I got to be a beacon in the moonlight, too… Callahans and their bright-headed ancestry.

Run! My wolf pressed again, and this time, I shoved worry aside and enjoyed her enthusiasm.

Yes! A short run and then we escape.

An opportunity had been handed to me. The fact that I was aware for this run when no one would expect that meant that I could try to slip away. Escape the pack again, and this time, I would never stop running.

We both agreed with the plan and took off. Whatever unease I’d felt at being present faded under our joy of running as a wolf. The wolf’s vision was a mix of black, white, and grey, with a tinge of green. And despite the darkness in the forest, once the moon’s glow left our fur, we could still see as clearly as during daylight. And the scents… everything was amplified tenfold to what I usually smelled. Now it seemed I could differentiate between the various pine trees, the ghost pine being strongest in this form. The largest trees were deep and earthy with hints of citrus. The redwoods were dustier in their scent, with…

Rabbit?

My wolf lost interest in the forest the moment the small creature’s scent hit us. She turned rapidly, leaving the pack, chasing food. She was desperate for her first meal, and apparently, rabbit was on the menu. I expected to feel a little grossed out by her desire to eat a creature alive and bouncing around, but the revulsion never came. Instead, I felt her hunting instinct as strongly as if it was my own.

Our senses locked completely on the creature as we stalked its path, and just when we were about to reach our goal, the scent of another who’d clearly been following us downwind hit me. On instinct, we dropped and rolled as a huge wolf landed on us.

We hadn’t quite gotten the hang of our new body and skills yet, so we were completely at the mercy of the much larger shifter. At first, I thought it was an attack, but then as they playfully rolled me, I caught on to what was actually happening: pack bonding. Only problem was I knew who this wolf was, and while he might expect I’d never remember this moment he was trying to instigate, I would most definitely.

Jaxson didn’t get to have me like this, but running away would clue him in on my current awareness, so I had no choice but to play along. Thankfully, my wolf took over our thoughts again and I settled back to mourn the life I could have had if my father hadn’t fucked it all up. My father, who wasn’t even here to see my first shift. We’d talked about it so much. All those plans and dreams just shredded in claws and failed dreams.