Reign (The Sainthood - Boys of Lowell High #3)(93)

After we come, I turn around in his arms, pressing my face to his chest, while his arms pull me close. The barn is quiet, and although I don’t know the time—because I haven’t looked at my cell yet—I know it’s way past time to get up. I’m guessing the others went to school, deciding to let us sleep in.

“Thank you for last night.” His gruff tone sends a rake of fiery shivers cascading over my heated skin.

Lifting my head, I look at him through hooded eyes, tracing swirling patterns on his chest with my finger. “We’re a team. All of us. And you and I.” I press a kiss to his skin, and his chest rumbles with pleasure. “I’m not saying you can’t take time for yourself when you need it, but please don’t push me away. I love you, and I want to be there for you.”

“I know that, and it wasn’t about you.” He cups my face, smiling at the knotted mess that is my hair. “I don’t want my darkness to infect you.”

“Darkness is a part of who you are. And it’s a part of me too. Your darkness sings to my darkness,” I tease, wanting to lighten the mood. “Your darkness doesn’t scare me,” I add, feeling instinctually this is what he thinks. “If anything, it turns me on.” I run my fingers along the stubble on his chin and cheeks. “I love every part of you, and you never have to hide anything from me.”

He sits up straighter against the headrest, pulling me with him. “I never dared imagine this for myself,” he says, trailing his fingers up and down my arm. “I scoffed at love.”

I snort, snuggling in closer to his side. Tell me something I didn’t know.

“I didn’t purposely shut you out, Lo.” He tips my face up with one finger. “I just reacted on autopilot. The others are used to me. They let me lick my wounds, and then Galen is usually the one bandaging me up after.”

I sit up fully, palming his beautiful face. “They can still do that, but you need to make room for me.”

“I don’t have to make room, my queen.” He takes my hand, placing it over his heart. Steady beats thrum under my fingertips, soothing any leftover frayed parts of me. “You’re already there.”

“How are you feeling today?” I ask, peering into his slightly bloodshot eyes.

“Like I drank my weight in whiskey and my wife rode me raw in the middle of a storm on a muddy forest floor.”

My grin is instant and wide. “It was hot as fuck.”

He tugs on my earlobe, and I shriek. “You’re hot as fuck.”

I peck his lips, moving my hand up to his face again. “Seriously. Are you okay? About what you learned?” He needs to talk about this, not bottle it up.

“I’m pissed,” he admits. “I grew up thinking my mom abandoned me. That I wasn’t worthy enough of her love. That shit hurt, but I never allowed myself to think about her, because she hadn’t earned that right.” Air whooshes out of his mouth, and his lips pull into a grimace. “Then Sinner started dropping hints, suggesting there was more to the story, but I didn’t indulge it. I couldn’t. We have too much shit going on. But last night changed all that.”

His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “She cared enough to risk her life by running away when she was pregnant with me.” His chest lifts in a shuddering breath. “That changes everything. She’s not the pathetic, weak bitch I’d built her up to be in my mind.” Tears well in his eyes, before he brushes them away, and a cold, hard glint replaces the emotion. “That bastard stole my mother from me. And why?” He shakes his head, shrugging. “It’s not like he ever wanted me.”

“No one takes anything from him,” I quietly say. “It’s always about power and control.”

Saint nods, absently dragging his fingers across my collarbone and the swells of my breasts, stirring desire in my belly again. “I hate him, Lo.” His baby blues pin me in place. “Like really loathe him.”

“I know, baby.” I knead the knotted muscles in his shoulders.

“I stopped myself from going after him about a hundred times last night. I want to fucking end him,” he says, through gritted teeth. “But I can’t fuck things up. There are too many balls in the air. I’m just worried I won’t be able to hold back, because I want to rip him apart. I want to stab him over and over and over again. To hurt him in all the ways he’s hurt me.”

“We have even more reason to make him pay now. And he will, Saint. He’s going to pay for all the ways he has hurt us.”

_______________

“ARE YOU SURE this is wise? Maybe we should drop by school and pick the others up?” I suggest, glancing at Saint from the passenger seat of my Lexus. He insisted on driving, and I didn’t argue, because he needs to take back control, and I’ll do what I can to help him feel more secure in himself.

“Sinner’s issue is with you and me. Let’s leave them out of it.”

I nod, trusting him to play this the right way.

Sleek, freshly washed and dried hair falls over my shoulder as I peer out the window, watching the landscape flash by. The rain eventually stopped in the middle of the night, but large puddles fill the potholes in the road, and moisture clings to the grass and tips of the trees as we drive the long way around Prestwick Forest.

Saint parks directly outside Sainthood HQ, cutting the engine. “Follow my lead in there, but…intervene if I lose my temper.”