Reckless Abandon(80)

“I’m a grown man. I have a past. You are going to have to learn how to deal.”

I sit up on my knees and bring myself to his level. “And you’re going to have to learn how to trust I’m not going to leave you just because I don’t like a decision you made before you met me.”

Alexander nods his head and seems to accept my words. He has to learn how to trust that I won’t leave him. I pull him down back onto the bed and lie down with him, resuming our previous position. I had an easy, uncomplicated relationship with Parker for four years, and I’m glad it’s over. Here, I’ve had the most heartrending five months with a man so complex I may never truly break through.

And if it ends, I’ll be devastated.





The past two weeks have been amazing. Alexander, as I have become accustomed to calling him, has spent every day at my apartment and we settle into a little routine. Since my shower is too small for the two of us, he showers first and then I hop in. It works for me because I discovered a little secret about Alexander Asher: he sings in the shower. Turns out he’s a Bruno Mars fan. I found that very surprising.

Devon dropped off a small arsenal of suits and loafers. I placed them all in my small closet and wondered how we will make my small space work for the two of us. Alex goes to his fancy job uptown bright and early as I casually make my way into the school around the corner. Around three o’clock he arrives to teach his classes and then leaves at five to head back uptown.

When I get out of school at seven-thirty, he is outside the door waiting to walk me home.

He likes to eat out so we go to fancy dinners that are more than I am used to. I am no stranger to a five-star restaurant but a Michelin-grade private room on a Tuesday night is a lot, even for me.

Last night I asked him if we could go somewhere a little more laid back. When he asked what kinds of things we did back in Cedar Ridge, I said, “Bowling”—thinking he’d laugh at me. Instead, he obliged and as soon as we stepped into Lucky Strike, I knew why it was so easy for him to amend.

Lucky Strike is a bowling alley on crack. No, not crack. High-potency cocaine. The place looks like an exquisite nightclub with mood lighting, a DJ, a bar that rivals most high-end restaurants, and giant screens everywhere. He reserved a private room—yes, a private bowling alley room, just for us. We even had our own waitress. I just shook my head at the largess and vowed to figure out some way to get this guy to be a little more down to earth.

The sweet aspect of the night was that since I can only bowl lefty, he did too. He still beat me but at least it was on an even playing field. When we came back, he made his “famous” spaghetti Bolognese but was not thrilled when I took the leftovers upstairs to Mattie.

We still have a few kinks to work out in this relationship.

Gigantic kinks.

Right now, he is teaching in the room next to me. Today’s lesson is on the song “All of Me” by John Legend. I have the lyrics in the notebook next to my desk and a beautiful coral rose to accompany it.

Passion.

I thumb through my notebook and look at the pages that have been filled in. Twenty-eight song lyrics from him nestled in the pages. Twenty-four are from me.

Pretty soon I’m going to need a new book.

I pick up a pen and start to think of what song I’d like to dedicate to him today when there is a knock on my door. I look up from my desk and see Lisa walking in.

“I thought I’d catch you in here,” she says, looking back toward Alexander teaching in the next class. She closes the door behind her and crosses her arms in front of her.

I raise a brow at her disposition. “Can I help you with something?”

“What’s going on with you and the Prince of Darkness?” she asks and I’m completely taken aback by her question.

“What do you mean?” I say indifferently.

Lisa places a hand on her hip and looks down at me. “I don’t want to go all mother-hen on you but I’m worried. What’s a sweet girl from the Midwest doing with a guy like him? He already left you once, Emma. I’ve tried to mind my own business but I have to speak my peace.”

I lean back in my chair and cross my arms one in front of the other. “Is there something I should know about?”

“Just be careful, okay? That’s all I ask.”

I look over at my friend. She is a dedicated wife and a devoted mother. Lisa has no reason to scold me on my relationship unless it’s out of true concern. She’s not a jealous person or a gossip queen. If she says she’s worried, I have reason to believe it’s genuine.

Besides, her words are no different than the ones Leah reamed into me the other day when she found out Alexander and I are together. They went something like this.

“Can’t say I didn’t see this one coming.”

“You did not.”

“Oh, I did and that * owes you big time.”

“What happened to all that talk about how he helped me? Doesn’t that count for something?”

“He still left your ass in Italy, Emma. And don’t think I haven’t been stalking him on the Internet. He wasn’t exactly mourning the loss of your love these last few months.”

Those words stung a lot. “He had a right to leave,” I say.

“Whatever. You’re gonna do what you wanna do so, mazel tov.”