Reckless Abandon(49)



Sensing the seriousness of the situation, Crystal changes her stance. “Yeah, yes, sure. Whatever needs to be done.” She removes her coat and places it on the hook behind the door. “Are you okay? You seem a little on edge.”

Am I okay? What does okay even mean? Well, if I’m gonna be a smarty-pants about the whole thing, it’s from the Dutch phrase Oll Korrect, meaning “all correct.”

But I’ve come to find okay to stand as an acronym for “otherwise known.”

So today I’m okay.

Otherwise known as, I can’t stop thinking about a certain man who captured my soul and hasn’t given it back.

Otherwise known as, trying to find a new place for myself in this world since the one I thought I had has vanished.

Otherwise known as, will there ever be a day when people stop asking me if I’m okay?

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just making sure everything is set for today.” I offer her a kind smile and go back to reviewing my notes.

“You?” She asks in a flabbergasted manner. “You’re the most organized person I’ve ever met. You’ve got everything covered. Let’s go out for a drink tonight. Celebrate!” Crystal says, reminding me a lot of Leah, just a bit more refined.

“Thanks, but I have work to catch up on,” I say, hoping she can’t read through my fib.

Crystal eyes me cautiously but shrugs as she usually does, shaking out her hair again. “Sure. Well, maybe next time. I’m gonna go freshen up before we go down. Meet you back here in fifteen?”

I nod my head and go back to my work. The city has given me a newfound energy and purpose, yet I still find myself withdrawing at times.



At noon, Crystal and I make our way downstairs and take a spot in the middle of Rivington, where a large crowd has gathered for the ribbon-cutting ceremony. The street has been blocked off for the event. NYPD are stationed at both ends of the street where barricades have been placed for the next hour preventing cars from coming down the one-way street.

A small stage is set up to the right of the front door with a podium and microphone. A woman is currently doing a mic check as the mayor—who I was impressed would be here—is talking to Frank off the side of the stage.

Crystal and I spot a dazed-looking Lisa and flag her over to where we are standing. When she sees us, her eyes light up and she side steps her way through the crowd. Her hair is in a messy bun and she’s wearing a large oversized sweater over leggings and Converse sneakers, clutching a cup of deli coffee in her hands. Everyone was told to dress nice today. For Lisa, this is nicely dressed.

“I can’t believe I took a day off work for this. There are so many other things I’d rather be doing right now,” she says, sliding in between me and Crystal.

“Like practicing for an audition I have tomorrow,” Crystal says.

“Or creating an agenda for a spring concert,” I add.

“Or having sexy times with the husband,” Lisa chimes in. Crystal and I roll our heads in her direction. “What?” she says, shrugging. “Two kids, remember? Some day you’ll understand.”

Crystal and I just shake our heads and laugh. At least Lisa has someone to go home to at night. Crystal and I are still hopelessly single, though not for the lack of Crystal’s efforts. She is constantly on Tinder and Match, swiping left and right. I think working all those weddings every weekend makes her wistful. I just hope she doesn’t choose someone based on what society thinks she should do by a certain age. No woman should ever settle.

“Hey, Emma, I saw I have eight kids in my Introduction to the Violin class. That’s too many,” Lisa says, her lips perched on her paper cup.

“I know,” I say apologetically. “I couldn’t deny the little guys. I mean, a seven-year-old who wants to play the violin? That’s amazing. What did you want me to do, tell them they had to take the drums?”

Lisa’s head tilts forward and gives me her deadpan stare. “I need a co-teacher. It’s impossible to teach that many kids, that age, with no musical experience, at once.” She ticks off the challenges using her three fingers.

“I asked Frank. There’s no funding for another teacher. Sorry.”

She gives me an exasperated look, her free hand flying out in a dramatic gesture. “You’re a classically trained violinist. Why can’t you teach them with me?”

Damn Frank for boasting about my has-been career. I hate this. I hate that I can’t even teach a child to hold a bow. I hate that everyone knows I’m incompetent in my craft. I rub my hand and try to figure out a way to avoid the conversation.

Crystal senses my unease. “Emma is way too busy setting up the program. If she had the time to teach she’d be doing so. Maybe she can get you an intern or something.”

Lisa nods and tells Crystal that’s a good idea. I, in turn, thank her with my eyes.

News reporters, students, teachers, parents, and local political representatives have all arrived for the special occasion. It’s a beautiful October day so a spot in the afternoon sun is greatly appreciated.

Cameramen point their cameras at a podium situated a few feet from the front of the building. First, a woman from the Children’s League makes a short speech and introduces the mayor. Everyone claps and listens as he deems the Juliette Academy a great asset to the city of New York.

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