Reckless(90)

Ethan glances down at his daughter, a pained expression on his face.

The tick tock of the clock on the wall swells in my ears as he stands still and I silently beg him to say something. Anything.

Chuckling, Jamie smirks at me and stretches an arm around his wife. “Gotta say, man, I’m kinda surprised you hired Tori. What with her record and all. Hope you didn’t let her drive the kids anywhere.”

“What?” My voice is fragile, like spun glass. One misstep and I’ll break apart.

Why would he bring that up? He knew how mortified I was about that time in my life.

His wife sneers like she just stepped in a steamy pile of horse shit. “I thought you needed certain standards to hold this kind of job.”

“Sorry, Tori,” Jamie says as though the man feels even a hint of remorse. “Want to make sure my friends know the real you. Know that they’re getting a college dropout who partied so hard, she nearly killed a car-load of her friends when they were out joyriding. Not sure that’s the kind of woman I’d hire to watch my children.”

The gasp I hear is mine.

Because that’s a version of the truth, but it’s distorted and ugly. It’s my life, the blood and guts of it all smeared and inside out, like some victim of a horror movie.

For a second, I can’t breathe.

I’m underwater.

Sinking. Sucking in water. Suffocating.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

I don’t know how to explain what really happened. How to untangle the thread of truth from the ball of lies Jamie just threw in my face.

Absurdly, my thoughts go to that astronomy course I nearly failed. Of the way planets collide so powerfully, they rip apart time, gnawing it open with their jaws.

I wonder if this is how it feels to be trapped in that kind of wreckage. Like noiseless, dark energy sparking out of existence.

Ethan’s voice slices through the overwhelming silence in the room. But it’s not the voice of my boyfriend. It’s the man who interviewed me months ago. Harsh. Demanding. Angry. “What’s he talking about, Tori?”

My eyes dart between everyone in the room.

Ethan, who’s pissed and confused, whose eyes beseech me to tell him that Jamie’s lying, that beg me to tell him he knows the real me.

Allison, who’s triumphant and conniving and likely planning my slow death.

And Jamie, who’s arrogant and so fucking pleased with himself he’s practically levitating off the ground.

It’s his haughty smirk that pushes me over the edge.

I’m a car skidding off a cliff. Tires squealing. Dirt flying. Engine roaring.

I’m that girl.

Again.

The one who loses control and veers off the road.

Untethered and unmoored.

Reckless.

But if I’m going down, I’m taking that asshole with me.





51





Tori





Flushed and feverish, I kneel down in front of Mila. “Honey, go find Uncle Logan. Stay with him, okay?” I don’t understand how I channel a gentle tone with Mila when the storm of emotion whipping through me is cresting.

She nods and skips off, completely ignoring Allison when she tells her to stay.

As I stand, I point to the path Mila took out the back door. “That’s what happens when you ignore your kids, Allison. They ignore you.” My voice gains strength. “And you can sweep in here and pretend like you’re mother of the year for all your friends, but let’s get one thing straight. I know you’re a shitty parent, but worse? So do Mila and Cody, and they’re the only ones who matter.”

It’s her turn to sputter, but I ignore her and turn to Ethan.

The distance in his eyes is devastating, but when he doesn’t come to Allison’s defense, I take that as a small victory and plow forward. Deep down, though, I’m preparing for the death blow to my heart when he learns the truth. “The question you should be asking is how Jamie knows so much about me.”

His attention shifts to his friend, and I continue, my anger rising. “The question you should be asking is why Jamie cares. By the way, I’m calling him Jamie because that’s what he told me to call him during the six months we dated.” Ethan’s eyes cut back to mine, his nostrils flaring. “I didn’t know he was married. I didn’t know he had children. I didn’t know because he lied. About everything.”

Behind me, Felicia gasps, he and his wife shouting I’m a liar and a whore and a cunt, but I ignore them. This isn’t about them. This is about Ethan understanding.

“Remember when I told you about my ex?” I remind him. “Yes, part of what he told you about my past is true, which is why I never drove your kids anywhere except the one time you insisted.”

“She’s lying,” Felicia screeches. “James has never cheated on me.”

Looking over my shoulder, I shrug. Jamie’s pale as I tell his wife the truth. “Then ask him how I know you have a tattoo of a fairy on your lower back, just above the dimple on your ass. Ask him how I know he bought you tickets to a Rangers game for his birthday last year. Ask him about how you came home early that day. How he shoved me in your bedroom closet so he could protect his dirty secret. Why he nearly choked you on his dick when I walked out to confront him.”