Reckless(80)

“That’s stupid, Ethan. I should bring my parents here for your party. There’s no point in doing separate events for a two-year-old who won’t even remember it. They could use something cheerful since my grandfather just passed. ”

Her shrill voice makes Mila’s bottom lip tremble.

I hate interjecting, but Mila’s two seconds from crying, and if she cries, Cody might join her, especially since he’s tired and rubbing his eyes. “Can I take the kids inside?”

“No. You cannot take my kids inside,” Allison barks.

Ethan places a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Actually, hon, do me a favor and take the kids to the diner for some ice cream.” He pulls out his wallet and hands me a twenty-dollar bill.

It’s obvious he doesn’t want Mila and Cody to witness the showdown happening here. I’ve already told Ethan I’m not comfortable driving his truck, but this is probably his way of not contradicting Allison while still protecting the children. He’s such a good guy. He tries so hard. I barely refrain from shooting Allison a dirty look. How could she not want this man?

“I don’t have car seats in my—” I motion toward my rust heap, and I swear Allison’s eye twitches.

“Take the truck.” He’s reaching for his keys, and I’m shaking my head no, and Mila’s yanking on my dress.

No, no, no. I can’t explain why I shouldn’t drive them in front of Allison, not when she’s looking at me like I might infect her with the plague.

But Ethan opens my palm and makes me take the keys. “Please.”

One word.

That’s all he has to say for my resolve to wane, but I have a sinking suspicion his conversation with Allison was going fine until I showed up, so I want to help him however I can.

“Sure. Yeah.”

I just hope he’s not upset with me when I tell him I can’t keep doing this.



* * *



Forty-five minutes later, Logan strolls through the door of the Lone Star, pausing briefly to flirt with one of the waitresses, before sliding into our booth. Cody is asleep in my arms, his ice cream melted into a puddle in his bowl, and Mila clings to my other side, stressed out from watching her parents argue.

“Hey, little darlins,” Logan drawls.

I’m too tired to do more than lift my hand.

I don’t ask why he’s here and Ethan’s not, but something about that pisses me off more than being in the middle of everything. But damn it, it hurts to hear Mila cry over her parents and how she’s worried they’re mad at her. Just thinking about it makes my eyes sting and my belly burn with frustration.

I want to protect these kids, but they’re not mine to protect. I want to protect Ethan, but sometimes he doesn’t feel like he’s mine either. Like on that porch earlier this evening, I had zero control about anything.

And really, who am I to have any say here? I’m the nanny. Not their mom.

Logan taps a finger on his cell. “Heard you guys had a rough time at the ranch. I’m supposed to bring you home as soon as I get a text.”

The meaning is clear. When Allison is gone, we can return.

She’s still there? Jealousy tears through me at the thought of her being alone with Ethan.

Get used to it, genius. You did suggest they remain a team for the sake of the ranch. Plus, it was her house first.

Fuck me sideways, this sucks.

My emotions must be clear as day because Logan gives me a sympathetic smile. I hate that look. I know it well. It’s the one all my friends gave me when they found out I’d been unknowingly dating a married man. “This will all work out. I know my brother.”

I nod, fear making me wonder, Work out for whom?

His phone vibrates, and he smiles as if this is proof of our impending happiness.

But I have a bad feeling about this. All of this.

Logan scoops up Cody, and I help him get the kids situated in his truck before I follow them back to the ranch.

The familiar sounds of baseball make me smile when we walk through the front door, but my sprig of optimism is quickly dashed.

Ethan is sound asleep on the couch. In front of him is an open bottle of wine and two glasses.

Ethan drinks beer.

I look at Logan, but he just shrugs and helps me carry the kids to bed. He does me a favor and doesn’t try to bullshit me and try to make me feel better, and I don’t bother to pretend I’m in a good mood.

When the kids are asleep, I go to my room and close my door, hoping to have some perspective in the morning. Because right now, I don’t have a good perspective. Not at all.





45





Ethan





A hard kick to my leg jars me awake.

“What the fuck?” I snarl at my brother, who’s hovering over me with an eat-shit-and-die expression.

My heart races from the shock to my system, and I realize I’ve been dozing in the living room. The game is over, and it’s dark outside. Shit.

“How long have I been out?” My throat feels like a dusty Texas road after a heat wave. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I try to shake myself out of this lethargy.

“Long enough.”

“Where are the kids?”

“In bed asleep.”

Like the slow flicker of a movie reel through a camera, I remember what happened earlier. The scene on the porch. The look on Mila’s face as she watched me argue with her mother. Tori’s imploring expression when I sent her away. All the arguing. “Fuck.”