Reborn (Shadow Beast Shifter, #3)(89)

But above all of them.

Above all else.

There was Shadow.

My Shadow Beast.

The growly bastard was the other half of me, the best piece of my damn soul. Knowing that our story had been cut short destroyed me so thoroughly that for a brief moment, my soul flickered in and out of existence in an attempt to end the pain.

The womb of the universe rushed in to help, soothing, and I calmed as those memories were swept out of the light. Or at least the womb attempted to remove them, but I could not let go.

I refused to forget.

As I drifted farther into the light, the memories were stronger than ever. At one point, the illumination was so strong that it felt like I was blinded and drowning in the intensity, but this was also where I saw it all clearer than ever.

I could stay in my safe womb and enjoy the gentle fire, or I could embrace the pain and the darkness and feel the flames on the outside.

It was my choice. Only it really wasn’t a choice at all. I’d take the burn any day over the safe, gentle existence. After all, I was built of fire and passion, and I’d never be satisfied with anything less.

Excruciating pain threaded through my essence as I gave myself to the light, and like all rebirths, it got worse before I got better, until eventually, I tumbled over the final edge, sliding free.

Reborn.





49





As I emerged from the Nexus, miles below The Depths that surrounded it, I found that once again, I was changed. Reborn. Into my true self this time, a being built and layered from the multiple lives I’d already lived.

I knew myself, maybe better than I ever had, recognizing my new perfect mesh of wolf, phoenix, and shifter. The Nexus had taken the best and strongest from each, weaving them together to create my true form.

Flames surrounded me, despite how deep I was in the water, lighting up the endless darkness. Not just the darkness, but the many, many creatures that encircled me.

The old Mera would have near died of fright, but I no longer feared any born of the Nexus. I embraced them all, from the hugest of prehistoric-looking monsters to tiny darting specks of fluff.

Reaching out, I placed my hand onto the snout of a creature nearby that resembled a crocodile crossed with a megalodon, my hand barely even as large as one of its five nostrils. A thrum of connection between it and me sprang to life.

They were mine. An urge to touch every creature and seal their essence within my own hit me, but just as I reached for the next, the ground rumbled, shaking even those of us in The Depths.

My head snapped up, but I was too far below to know what was happening in the realm. All was not well, that much I did know. Power ripped from me, sending out swirls of fire-touched energy, which did not hurt my creatures, but it did allow me to feel my connection to the realm and Nexus.

When I rose up, so did the land that Dannie had done her best to bury. My rebirth from within the Nexus “womb” had repaired the cracks she’d left in the power, and it was time for all of us to rise. From the ashes of our former selves.

The sea creatures swirled protectively around me, and I wondered how I could have ever feared them. They were just like the abervoqs and other land creatures—misunderstood. Yes, some of them were ferocious and killers, but that was survival. Once their natural food sources—and the health of the realm—returned, they would be no threat to any who weren’t a threat to them.

You couldn’t punish them for surviving.

As I got closer to the surface, the instability of the realm grew far more apparent. This did not come from me or my power base, though; there was something or someone else out there tearing the structure of this world to pieces, scattering the mists and leaving raging fire behind.

Urging the Nexus to rise faster, I was determined to stop this new threat. We hadn’t fought so hard to save this world, only to have it destroyed now.

As I burst up from the water, my new fire wings spread out wide to hold me in the air. When I took my first breath of air, I felt large parts of who I used to be slide into place. The old and new merging together. With that, I knew exactly who was responsible for the destructive force.

My mate.

Shadow! I screamed along our bond, sending a burst of power with it.

The bond thrummed back to me, as strong as ever. It hadn’t been destroyed when I’d died because bonds were deeper than skin. They were a part of our souls, and that part had been reborn with me. If anything, I was stronger and more myself than I had ever been.

Except for my wolf soul. No longer could I feel her sadly languishing within me; instead, we were merged into our best and strongest selves.

Shadow! I called for him again, knowing that he would hear me. We would always find each other. The rumbling of the land’s foundations eased, and I soared up higher, my sea creatures following in a large mass of scary below.

Staring down at them brought to attention my reflection in the water. With no distorting, the water here showed me exactly what had emerged from the Nexus. What I’d been reborn as.

Flames coated me head to toe, as stunning fire wings extended behind, looking very much like Dannie’s phoenix ones. The rest of me was wolfish, though, reiterating my feeling that I hadn’t lost my beast, not exactly. I was her and she was me, and we were a fire beast who looked like a mix of Shadow’s Anubis form and Dannie’s original phoenix. Minus the beak.

For a brief moment, I wondered if I was going to look like this forever, a creature of darkness and light who was cool and scary, but not the version of myself I was most familiar with.