Reborn (Shadow Beast Shifter, #3)(75)

She licked at it first, and I saw her nose flare.

Leaning back in case she was going to hurl, I waited for her next move. The whole piece went into her mouth and she swirled it around for a beat before letting it settle on her tongue. Then she swallowed it.

A moment’s silence followed.

She was the only one brave enough to taste anything yet, and I knew more than one at this table was waiting for her opinion. Angel was the guinea pig in this experiment.

“Wow,” she finally said, her eyes meeting mine. She smiled broadly. “I can taste some of the undertones that I imagine most wouldn’t, but… it’s good. It’s really, really good.” She clapped her hands together. “I finally found my thing, thank you!”

Her hug was immediate and enthusiastic, and I wondered if maybe the chocolate was going to affect her in another way. It did have a calming, somewhat euphoric effect on humans… Maybe it would do the same for Angel.

Before I could run away with those thoughts, everyone went into action, reaching for plates of food. “Dig in,” Len said loudly, drawing attention as he grabbed some cookies.

Even Shadow chuckled as they started to experiment with the dishes. My heart was so damn full as I watched them laugh and screw up their noses when they found dishes they didn’t enjoy.

It was pure fun escapism. One last moment together.

Whatever happened tomorrow, this night meant everything to me.

I would never forget it.





41





It was later than expected when we finally made it back into the lair. If we weren’t literally going into battle in the next few hours, I had a feeling we’d have talked with our friends all night.

Was this what family and pack life were really like? If so, I’d seriously been missing out. Even before my father’s death, I’d never experienced anything like that, and that might be the first real truth I recalled from my childhood. It had always been cold.

“What are you thinking?” Shadow asked as we strolled toward his room after leaving Inky guarding the lair entrance.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” I said honestly. “I’ve never sat around in a group like that. Usually, I avoided anything to do with gatherings because it was hazardous to my health.”

Shadow did not like it when I talked about my life in Torma, but I wasn’t one to bottle that shit up. I didn’t dwell, and I didn’t think of it a lot, but I also wasn’t about to pretend it had never happened. To me, that wasn’t healthy, and for my own mental health, I had to talk it out.

“I mean, I do remember the early years, before my father decided that I was a demon child who needed to be torn apart by the alpha, but even then, I was lonely.”

Shadow’s expression grew darker. “I know you told me about your father briefly,” he said, “but I’m going to need you to elaborate again. Now that I’m in my right mind.”

“You want to know why he attacked the alpha?”

Shadow nodded, and I experienced a warm burst of emotion inside—he cared enough to ask for more information. “Apparently, it started when I was five,” I started, before going on to detail everything I’d learned from the Lewisons, and my own theory that my Nexus side would escape when it was about loss or protecting loved ones and not about protecting myself.

Shadow listened intently, his hand on the doorframe of his room that had just appeared before us. “You’re definitely geared more to altruism than self-protection,” he agreed gruffly. “Hence why the abuse toward you never tapped into your Nexus side. You’re too strong of mind and body. You can handle anything thrown at you—fuck, you handled everything I threw at you, all the while tossing it right back in my face. But when your loved ones are hurt, that’s when you crumble.”

He knew me better than I realized. Shadow saw everything, and he was too smart not to piece together. “I’ve thought about this a lot, especially when I was trying to recall what triggered my first bout with fire power.”

“Did you remember?”

I swallowed roughly because I had recently remembered.

It was a painful memory for me, but I’d tell Shadow. “I’d blocked this out because at the time, it was so traumatic for my young mind,” I said softly, “but I’ve had to force myself to delve into the past recently, and with that, the memories returned.” I swallowed hard and he reached out and took my hand, but didn’t say a word, allowing me to speak in my own time.

“I had a pet rabbit from the age of three.” I sighed. “My parents apparently allowed me to roam free through the woods, and somehow, I found a brown bunny. No one in Torma had pets because Victor had an issue with wolves befriending food, but I was too young to understand how serious his rule was. I visited my bunny every day, and for two years he was my friend, until one time we played too close to the house and an enforcer caught sight of it.”

They’d killed him. Just an innocent animal who’d made a mistake in trusting me.

“It was my first taste of loss. I didn’t handle it well.” I swallowed roughly. “I still don’t handle it well. We can’t lose anyone else in this war… We just can’t.”

Shadow stared at me for this extended, heavy moment. The connection between us thrumming wildly, like a baby bird taking flight for the first time.