Reborn (Shadow Beast Shifter, #3)(16)

My father had been a loving figure in my life. At least in my memories, he had been. Were those early days of my life covered in a rose-colored sheen due to the unconditional love a child had for their parent?

Mika broke through my inner turmoil. “Lockhart had been trying to get Victor to use alpha coercion on all the shifters who’d been present at your birth. But we’d all been observing you as a child, and there was no sign of anything untoward. You were a normal, happy, sweet little girl.”

“His request was denied.” Gerad confirmed his mate’s story.

I wasn’t sure what answers I’d expected to get after so many years of wondering, but it really hadn’t been this. I’d never expected that the attack had been about me. Not for one second. I’d believed I’d been punished all of these years due to my father’s actions, but maybe there had been so much more to it. Maybe some of it had been my fault? Maybe Victor had hated me just a little extra because part of him had wondered if my father had been right.

“My father called me ‘Sunny’ because of my hair. Callahan hair,” I murmured, half-caught in the past.

Mika shot me a commiserating stare. “He called you ‘Sunny’ for more reason than one. He said you had the power of a burning light inside you. A demon power.”

I was floored, trying to merge this new information with the life I remembered in my head. The life before my father’s death had been the golden age, but maybe it had simply been Jaxson’s presence that had made it brighter. Maybe I’d never really had parents who’d cared.

“Has anyone ever given a proper single fuck about me?” My words were a sad, woe-is-me whisper, meant more for me than any other ears.

But, of course, one of the assholes in this car witnessing my breakdown had to answer. “Simone has always truly loved you,” Gerad said gruffly. “No matter how much it hurt her or our family, she would never turn her back on you.”

That knocked some sense into me, and I pulled myself from the dark thoughts that had been wrapping around my mind. “We have to find her,” I said, the emptiness falling from my voice as determination filled me. Fuck my parents and their bullshit that had been apparently ruining my life since birth. They would get no more energy from me.

It was time for me to focus on Simone. I had to save my one true friend and family, no matter the cost.

My palm itched and my chest fluttered at the thought, and this time, I was going with that being a positive sign that I was finally on the right path.





9





The rest of the drive to the pack house was done in silence. No doubt they were feeling sorry for poor little Mera, who was once again getting kicked in the guts even as the alpha-mate.

Despite my best effort to not think about my father, two words lingered just a little longer.

Demon power?

My father had thought I had a demon power. Were demons even a real thing? I mean, outside of the Shadow Beast, who was often referred to as the demon of the shifters, there was no other reference to them in our lore.

Staring down at my hands, I tried to remember ever setting anything alight. Had I been a secret pyro as a child, with a flame obsession that had scared my father to the point he’d truly believed me to be a creature from the depths of hell?

“Could my memory loss be related to what happened to my father?”

Thankfully, Gerad had already pulled up in front of the pack house, so my random question didn’t almost send us through the front window of the car this time.

“I know it happened years ago,” I continued, “but maybe it’s still all connected. Could I be more than a regular shifter, and that is part of what has caused my memory loss? What if my father was right?”

The enforcers exchanged a pitying stare, like they thought I’d finally cracked and were trying to figure out a way to break to it me. But I knew my truth, and there was more to be explored there. I’d been thinking too small, not correlating all of the bullshit in my life.

It was connected. I felt that deep down in my demon soul.

The Lewisons didn’t answer, so I pushed into my memories, both childhood and more recent, trying to connect the dots. Of course, the moment I did, a sharp pain slammed into my temples, but for the first time, I didn’t release the memories. Instead, I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and forced myself to push through. The pain was a barrier to whatever I wasn’t supposed to remember. I’d been shying away from it, but fuck, a little brain stabbing was nothing compared to having parts of my life stolen from me.

So I pressed harder, barely managing not to scream at the relentless and intense attack on my entire body. It got so bad that I had to blindly throw open the car door, falling out so I could vomit on the ground. Still, I did not release the hold on my memories, not even as I heaved and clawed at the grass.

I heard shouts, and no doubt Simone’s parents were about to be in trouble for seemingly hurting the alpha-mate, but I was too close now to lose focus of my goals. Memories were there—I felt them hovering below the surface. I just had to break through to the next level. Maybe then I would know what path to follow to claim back what had been stolen from me.

Come on! I screamed internally, my wolf howling with me as she rose to try to absorb some of my pain… but she couldn’t. This was my fight alone, and I was fighting like my life depended on it.