Queenie(22)
Queenie
What do you mean?
Cassandra
Corgis. Obviously.
Queenie
The Queen loves her corgis
Queenie
And they support her
Queenie
Like you’re all doing now
Cassandra
And you’re the queen in this?
Queenie
Of course
Cassandra
I think we all know that the monarchy is obsolete.
Darcy
I think it’s quite sweet
Queenie
Cassandra, it’s just a play on words, relax. Unless there are any objections from you, @Kyazike?
Kyazike
Nah, it’s calm. Do what you’re doin, innit
* * *
“Do you know what, Darcy?” I said the Monday after a Halloween party at the weekend that was mostly an emotional blur. “I’m going to make some promises to myself, and uphold them.” I was recalling my decision to avoid all men that I’d made after my disaster date with the giant cherub a few days before.
“What you mean?” Darcy asked.
“Number one, work harder,” I said, beginning to recite the list I’d saved in my phone. “I’ve let work slip so much lately, and there are serious things going on in the world that need reporting and the Daily Read doesn’t seem to be doing it.”
“Like what?” Darcy asked.
“Um, like the killings of unarmed black men and women in their droves at the hands of police, here and in the U.S., mass gentrification, modern-day slavery? Obviously?”
“I don’t really see anything about that, really.”
“Yeah, of course you don’t, Darcy. I was thinking that I could start pitching ideas to Gina?”
“That’s a good start,” Darcy agreed, nodding heavily, her hair falling around her face.
“I worked really hard to get this job, really fucking hard, and I feel like I’m spunking it all away,” I said.
“It’s too early to use the term spunking,” Darcy sighed, putting her head in her hands.
“Number two, maybe slow down with OkCupid,” I said, ignoring Darcy’s disdain. “I’m getting a bit obsessed with the digital attention. About five boys I haven’t met are already giving me their life stories. And when Tom finally has his space and comes back to me, even though I won’t tell him about dates I’ve been on, I don’t really want to have spent the whole time sleeping with boys in cars and meeting crap men who do a good job of occupying my brain space but will ultimately diminish my self-worth.”
“You could delete the app?” Darcy offered.
“No, too far,” I said, shaking my head. “At this point, I have to wean myself off it. Three. Spend more time with family.” I held my three fingers up and waggled the third. “Four, just forget men for a while, and use this break with Tom as a break from men. And five, don’t go home with boys after parties when it turns out the drunken jokes they were whispering in your ear about spaffing on your chest is genuinely all they want to do—”
“Queenie,” Darcy cut in sternly. “I know that we always do tea and talking on a Monday morning, but recently it’s getting a bit too X-rated for the time of day.”
“Fran’s Halloween party really was a night of extreme variables.” I sighed slowly.
“Men like to do that to you, don’t they? It must be because of those.” She pointed at my chest.
“Doesn’t Simon do it?” I asked, sipping my tea.
“God, no, he wouldn’t. Even if he wanted to, I don’t think my boobs are big enough to be sexy for that.” Darcy looked down at her own chest.
“But what is sexy about that? And why are they so proud of doing it?” I wondered aloud.
The kitchen door opened and Silent Jean shuffled in. She stared at both of us in turn as she made a cup of coffee slowly and silently. When she finally left the kitchen, she shot me a suspicious look as she closed the door behind her.
“Did you have fun, despite the—?” Darcy asked, gesturing at my chest again. “I was looking after Simon for the half an hour we were there. He got so smashed that I had to take him home.” Darcy hoisted herself up onto the kitchen counter. “He always gets so into his own head about being the oldest one at these things, so drinks himself into oblivion.” She crossed her legs and shook her foot agitatedly.
“Before you left, Simon found the time to take me aside in an annoyingly forty-year-old and patronizing way to tell me that you were worried about me or something,” I told Darcy, hoping that he’d been making it up.
“Well, Queenie, I am worried about you. But we can talk about it later; I need to go and pick our summer interns.” Darcy squeezed my shoulder and left the kitchen.
“I’m worried about me,” I said to the empty kitchen.
* * *
Later while Gina was moaning (something about her children not wanting to go to boarding school so acting up by bullying the nanny), my stomach started to hurt, and my vision began to blur at the edges. I excused myself and went outside for some air. A security guard found me crouching by the entrance and asked me to move along to the designated outside space, pointing me toward the smoking area. I stumbled over and leaned against a wall. I felt myself sliding down it slowly but didn’t have the strength to stop myself from falling to the ground. I opened my eyes when I felt someone grab onto me with both hands.