Queenie(15)

“It’ll be all right, mate,” I said, patting him on the arm.



* * *



I tried to get back into the party but could think about nothing but Tom. We’d hurt each other, but that’s what couples did, right, they wound each other up. Look at Fran and James! I got my phone out of my pocket and tried to call Tom. No answer. I called again, nothing. Twice more. Nothing. I sat on the sofa as everyone chatted and danced around me. The phone buzzed in my hand.

Tom

Clean break, Queenie



I read Tom’s text through blurring eyes. I missed him so much that my chest started to ache. Did he not miss me? How could he just ignore my calls? I snuck away and stood outside the house, about to order an Uber. The cold air sobered me. “Shall we?” An arm wrapped around my waist as Rich slotted himself into me presumptuously. I didn’t want to go back to my new house alone, but as I looked into the unkind eyes of Rich and remembered how I felt when I first locked eyes with Tom, I knew that I didn’t want to go home with him. I got my phone out to call Tom again. He still wouldn’t pick up. What would make me feel better? I thought. Nothing. What would make me feel happy? I asked myself. Tom was the answer. But if Tom wasn’t answering, what would distract me until he did?

Queenie

Adi, can you meet me outside some luxury apartments in Fulham? We can go for that drive you’re always on about



I tried my luck. It was two in the morning. I’d give him five minutes and then I’d get an Uber.

Adi

You serious?



He replied before I could put my phone in my coat pocket.

Queenie

Sure. Why not?



Adi

For real? You’re not tricking man?



Queenie

I’m about to change my mind, I’m cold



Adi

Okay okay, what about your white boy, is he there? He can watch me at work, innit, man will show him how it’s done



Queenie

We’re on a break



Adi

For real?



Adi

LOL



Adi

No such thing as a break



Queenie

Are you coming or not?



Adi

Queenie, if I’m gonna hit it, man needs to come into the yard. A bum like yours needs room for maneuver, you get me? No space in a car for you, TRUST me



Queenie

Just moved house, everything is in boxes. No bed. Also so much of that is offensive



Adi

Alrite, alrite, don’t start. I’ll come get you. Text me the address



Twenty minutes later I was back in the passenger seat of Adi’s flash black BMW, the seat reclined completely backward because “these ends are hot and I don’t want anyone to see that I’m driving some girl who isn’t my missus.”

I lay back, the nasality of Drake’s voice making me vibrate on my makeshift bed. “Where are we going?” I asked in the absence of being able to see for myself. The adrenaline that was flooding my system had canceled out any trace of alcohol.

“Don’t worry, innit, just relax,” Adi said, digging a hand into my thigh and flashing me a smile that was, genuinely, somewhere on the way to charming. I dissociated by thinking about how his teeth were so white. He must put a lot of money into keeping them that way; I know how much he smokes.

As Adi drove, unease started to rise in me. What was I about to do? Was sex okay, given the whole gynecological situation? I wished the doctor had given me just a little more information. The car slowed down. “Can I sit up now?” I asked, sitting up anyway. “I’m starting to feel queasy.”

I looked around as Adi parked. When he turned the headlights off and my eyes had adjusted to the dark, I saw that we were in some sort of warehouse parking lot.

“Do you come here often?” I asked, to no response. Adi didn’t think I was very funny.

“I want you to take your thong off, innit,” he said, wasting no time. I pulled my dress up and put my thumbs in the sides of my knickers, ready to pull them down.

“Why are you wearing full knickers? I like my girls in thongs.”

“You can just drive me back home if you want,” I suggested, pulling my dress back down.

“Nah, don’t be so hasty! Man was just saying, innit.” I pulled my knickers off and, in trying to be sexy, got them tangled at my ankles before I put them in the glove box.

“All right, so now I want you to just turn round and face the back,” Adi told me.

“What, like in the back of the car?” I asked, obviously not understanding the request.

“Nah, just turn in the passenger seat and pull your dress up so I can look at your bottom.”

“What? Why?” I still wasn’t getting what he was asking.

“?’Cause I love black girls’ bums, innit, Queenie. Das why. My wife, yeah, she’s got a pretty face but she’s skinny. No bum.”

He maneuvered me into the position he wanted, and I did as I was told because, frankly, it was easier to just do than to think. If I thought about what I was doing, I’d have to think about why I was doing it, and I wasn’t prepared for that at this moment. “Can you turn the heating up?” I asked. “It’s a bit chilly.”