Pucked Off (Pucked #5)(89)

He gives me a long, worried look. “If you’re longer than twenty I’m bringing her back up.”

As soon as the door closes, Tash takes a step toward me. I hold out my palm. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me.”

She raises her hands in the air and backs up a step.

I grab my shirt from the end of the bed and pull it on, along with a pair of track pants, because there’s no way I’m having any kind of conversation with Tash until I’m fully clothed.

“Seriously, Tash, why are you here?”

She just kind of wilts. “To see you.”

“This thing you think is between us? That’s done. It’s been done for a long time.”

“Are you still mad about last time?”

I run a palm down my face, trying to contain my frustration, but I can’t. How did I ever think this was worth something?

I wish Poppy was here. She keeps me level. She makes me feel like there’s something good in me that I can actually hold on to. I wish I had her to keep me from exploding like this, but Tash always knows how to push me to the edge, light a match, and set me on fire.

“Yes! Yes, I’m still mad about last time, and the time before that, and the one before that, and every single fucking time you brought me someone else after I kept telling you not to. I don’t know why this is such a goddamn surprise for you.”

“Then why didn’t you say no?”

“I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. Because I thought maybe at some point you’d actually hear me and listen. Because I didn’t think I deserved anything better at the time. Look, it doesn’t matter, because you’re not gonna do this again. I meant what I said. I’m done. And you need to be done too. Stop whatever this shit is.” I hold up her phone and scroll through all of Poppy’s bookmarked pages. “This isn’t normal, Tash.”

“I remember her. She was at your house a year ago. How long have you been screwing her? This whole time?”

“What?”

“Were you fucking her back then?” She vibrates with barely contained rage.

“Jesus Christ. Are you on something?”

“Answer the question!” she screams.

She’s all over the place. I recognize the behavior. And it hits me. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before—the ultra highs, the deep-dark lows, the paranoia, the rage, and the grandeur. She’s manic. Just like my mother is.

“No. I hadn’t seen her in a year. I just met her again. Why is that even relevant?”

“Well, what are you gonna do when she wants to put her hands on you. How are you going to deal with that?”

“I like it when she touches me.” The words are like a backhand for her, so I keep going. “I don’t get anxious. I don’t need distractions. She’s good for me.”

She’s silent for a while before a look of malice appears. “Maybe not any more, though. May not after she sees that picture.”

There’s no point in arguing with her. The conversation isn’t rational. She only wants to cause pain.

I key the code back into her phone and go through the rest of her social media profiles, checking to see where the image was sent. I find it in a group message that included Poppy. She hasn’t seen it yet. But she will.

I hold up the phone. “This was your plan?”

“You spend all this time with her, send her flowers like she’s all yours, but what if she doesn’t want you after this?”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Confusion mars her face. I used to think she was attractive, but now I know what’s inside her.

“I’m helping you,” she says.

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Sure it does. Is she worth it if she can’t get over this? I mean, does she even know the rumors about you are true? I bet she doesn’t.”

“You should go get your friend.” I toss the phone to her.

“That’s it?”

I give her a blank look.

“Okay, fine. Suit yourself. I’ll be in Chicago in a few weeks.”

“You’re not getting me, Tash. This is it. There’s no more. We’re toxic for each other, and you need…something I can’t give you. I won’t do this with you any more. I don’t want to.”

“Because of this girl?”

“Yes. And because I can finally see what I was doing to myself, and letting you do to me. I don’t want to be this way, and I don’t have to.”

“I could try—”

“I don’t want you to. I don’t want to try with you. Look what you just did to me. I can’t trust you. I need you to stop. Leave Poppy alone. Whatever happens between her and me after this, I can’t have you messing with her life the way you did mine.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

I give her a look. “It would only take a phone call. You know that. It’s not something I want to do, but I will if you force me.”

Tash laughs, but it’s a flat sound. “So that’s it?”

“Aye. You need to go.” When she takes a step toward me, I put a hand up and ward her off.

Her head drops. “Okay. I’ll go.”

“And I mean it when I say no contact. Especially with Poppy.”