Pucked Off (Pucked #5)(103)

I key in the passcode and step aside. Poppy releases my hand and crosses the threshold. Her fingers drift up to her lips as she scans the foyer. It’s open, with a view of the staircase leading to the second floor where the bedrooms are.

Poppy slips off her shoes and pads across the floor on bare feet with pale pink-painted toenails. I don’t bother taking my shoes off, too intent on following her around.

Her fingertips skim the edge of the side table where I keep my keys and mail as she passes through to the kitchen.

I come up behind her, unsure whether I have the right to touch her at all. “What are you thinking about?”

“How different I felt the last time I was here.”

“In a good way, or a bad way?”

“Good, I think.” She rests a hand on the granite countertop. “This is nice. Do you cook?”

“Not really.”

“I like to cook sometimes, but I don’t think I’m very good.”

“Better than me, I’m sure.”

A small laugh bubbles up. “Maybe. It’s not much fun when it’s just for one person, and then I have to eat the same thing for lunch and dinner for four days.”

She continues on to the living room, her gaze falling on the sliding glass doors. Her smile drops, and she crosses to them. Turning the lock, she slides it open. The cold makes her shiver, and she wraps her arms around herself as she steps outside.

I have no memories of her in the hot tub, and that bothers me. That whole night bothers me. I wish I could delete the entire night from her head like I’d mostly done in mine.

“I never made it outside, out here.” She gestures to the hot tub. “Kristi and Felicity came out with you and Randy, and I snuck away to the bathroom.”

“Maybe we should’ve gone to your place. I haven’t had anything to drink. We can go now.” I reach for her hand, but she shakes her head.

“No. I want to be here.”

“But the memories are bad ones.”

“We can replace them with good ones eventually, can’t we?”

I squeeze the back of my neck. She’s talking like there’s a future, which is good. I don’t want to jeopardize it with bad memories before we can even deal with the fallout of Tash.

Poppy circles the hot tub; on her way back around, she hooks her pinkie finger with mine. “Come on.”

I wish I knew what’s happening inside her head.

“I was so embarrassed.” Her voice is a whisper of sound.

“I’m sorry.”

She turns and presses a palm against my cheek. The contact is fleeting, but welcome.

“I know you are, and I know it’s for the right reasons.” She heads back to the kitchen and opens the cabinet next to the sink, where the glasses are. I don’t ask how she knows where to find them. She must have gone searching when she was here before.

“I must’ve stayed in the bathroom forever. I didn’t know what to do. My phone and wallet and keys were in Kristi’s purse, and she had it outside—but the hot tub… I couldn’t go out there. I knew Kristi wanted to hook up with you, and I just couldn’t—” She shakes her head. “I felt so dumb. I never thought I’d meet you again, and I’d certainly never dreamed it would go like that.”

I hate that she looks like she’s on the verge of tears. I wonder if she’s shed any in the days since I’ve last seen her. If she has, it’s my fault. “We don’t have to talk about this—”

“I want to. I need to.” She turns on the faucet and pours herself a glass of water, filling one for me, too. She takes a deep breath. “Eventually Miller’s pizza came. I thought maybe you’d all come back inside, but you didn’t. I snuck out and went upstairs, thinking I could wait it out and grab my things from Kristi’s purse.” She takes a sip of her water.

“But she brought it to my room,” I supply. Jesus. My stomach feels like someone’s kicking a lead balloon around inside it.

Poppy nods. “I didn’t know that, though. I fell asleep, and when I woke up it was late—or early, depending on how you look at it. I went downstairs, hoping I’d find it out by the hot tub, but of course it wasn’t there. So I had to stay.”

I consider what that must have been like, being stuck in someone else’s house with no way out. And God only knows what she imagined we were doing.

“And then in the morning I ignored you. Christ. Why do you even want to know me?”

“That one night doesn’t define who you are. I should’ve insisted Kristi give me my things. But I didn’t. I didn’t have to come back here, but I made the choice to. Those consequences are my own to deal with. I should’ve been honest with you right from the start, just like you should’ve been honest with me about Tash, but we weren’t.”

“I didn’t want to mess things up.”

She gives me a small, sad smile. “Neither did I. I liked that you wanted me to treat you. I convinced myself it would be okay if I could just keep the professional boundaries. And then I didn’t need to any more when you asked me out. I should’ve pushed for information about Tash, but I didn’t.”

When I give her a probing look, her gaze drops.

“I could’ve and should’ve asked you about the DO NOT FUCKING REPLY contact that kept popping up on your phone. I knew it couldn’t be good with the way you reacted.