Pucked Love (Pucked, #6)(57)
I cup her face in my hands and lift, forcing her to look at me. Charlene’s eyes are red rimmed, her cheeks flushed, and her expression is pure panic.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. I want you again.” She tries to come back to my mouth, but I hold her still.
“What is this about?” I smooth away her tears.
“That was intense. Today was intense.”
“And that’s the only reason for the tears?” I press. “I need you to talk to me, Charlene.”
“I waited all day for you.” She sighs and lifts her gaze, vulnerability leaking through. “I know the game was stressful for you, and it’s the same for me. You wanted me on edge, and I was. I was worried and anxious. It was a lot.”
I still think she’s leaving things out, purposely or not, so I try to pull them out of her however I can. “What exactly are you worried about?”
“I don’t know. Everything? You? What you’re not telling me.”
I sigh. I’m going to have to give to get here. “My stats are too high, and I’m getting too much attention. I don’t like it, and I don’t want it. But I don’t have a choice, and I won’t tank our team because I dislike the press I’m getting.”
She blinks a few times, maybe stunned that I’m being so forthcoming for once. It’s about fucking time, I suppose. Buying her new clothes and nice things only goes so far. I have to let her into my head if I want her to let me into hers.
“Now can you tell me why you’re so upset, other than the fact that I’m an asshole for having kept you on the edge all day?”
Her fingers go to her pearls. “Now I feel stupid.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you’re worried about your team, and I’m worried about myself.”
I want to erase the sadness that pulls her mouth down. I want to take the ache away. “Trust me when I tell you it’s not just my team I’m worried about, Charlene. I’m not that selfless.”
“What else are you worried about?”
I shake my head, aware this is yet another diversion tactic. “Not understanding why you’re so upset.”
She runs her fingers through my hair, eyes fixed there, maybe so she doesn’t have to look directly at me. “It feels like I’m losing things that are important to me.”
“How do you mean?”
“Violet’s always been my best friend. And maybe it’s petty and stupid, but she’s going to get closer to Sunny because they’re both pregnant, and Sunny and Lily have always been close, and now Violet and Lily are actual sisters, and I feel like I’m on the outside with no way in. And then there’s this whole expansion draft, and what if you’re traded and I . . .” She sucks in a deep breath, trying to keep herself in check. “I don’t want to lose all the people who mean the most to me.”
I skim the hollow of her eyes, brushing away more tears. As much as I don’t like to see her upset, I’m almost relieved we’re on the same page, at least about not wanting to lose the people we care for. I can’t control what’s happening with Violet or Alex, but I can try to keep hold of what we have.
“Whatever happens with everyone else, I’m in this with you. We can be on the outside together.”
She drags her fingers along the edge of my jaw, eyes sad. “Everything’s changing, and I want it to stay the same. I need this to stay the same.”
My stomach bottoms out. “This?”
“Us. How we are.”
Is it a warning? Was tonight too much for her? The closeness is something I want more of. And it has to be gradual, something that happens so slowly she won’t even recognize the change is happening at all. So I don’t ask for clarification, because I don’t want an answer I won’t like. Instead I tell her what she needs to hear.
“It’s always going to be me and you, Charlene. Whatever you need, I’ll be that for you.”
CHARLENE
Things seem to stabilize after we return to Chicago. My panic over losing my best friend because she now has a real half-sister wanes as I realize things haven’t changed all that much. I mean sure, Violet and Lily might be a little closer because they literally share DNA, and she and Sunny can gripe about sore boobs, but it hasn’t changed how much time Violet and I spend together. In fact, once we’re home, Violet and I are together more, rather than less. Darren and I spend a lot of time in coupley situations with Vi and Alex, so I don’t feel like my best friend position has been usurped.
Things between Darren and me are good—great even. He hasn’t shifted from a quiet, introverted, sometimes guarded man to the kind of guy who shares all of his feelings and loves being around lots of people. But there are shifts, and not all of them are subtle.
I now have a rack in his walk-in closet filled with brand new business wear, the kind I can’t afford unless I switch careers and become a high paid escort who works every night of the week. The price tags are always missing, but I’ve done my research. I know what a Fendi suit costs—especially if it’s this season and has been custom tailored to fit me.
One side of the bathroom vanity now houses duplicates of the stuff I keep at home.
Darren also purchased a second dresser to match his, which is where all of my lingerie, new leggings, sleep sets, and panties now reside. When he has home games, he requests that I stay with him almost every night. He’s grown particularly fond of returning from a game or practice to find me snuggled up in my reading chair with either a book or account files I’ve brought home with me. Although admittedly, that chair ends up being used for sex almost as much as it is for reading.