Postscript(93)

‘How can I help you?’

‘I read about the PS, I Love You letters in a magazine – while I was waiting at the hospital, ironically.’

I know the magazine piece he saw; we’re a new foundation, not many profile pieces to be confused about. It was in a health magazine, complete with a photograph of Gerry and me. Perhaps it was Gerry who drew him to the club.

‘I have cancer,’ he says, his eyes filling. He clears his throat and looks down. ‘I want to do something for my wife. We only got married last year. I read about your story. I want to do something fun for her, every month for a year, like your husband did.’

I smile. ‘I’d be honoured to help.’

‘Did you … did he … was it …’ he struggles with the question. He sighs. ‘You obviously think it’s a good idea or you wouldn’t have started this. Will she like it?’ he eventually asks.

There’s so many levels to this experience, so many layers to explain. His wife will feel so many things about these letters and tasks that her husband will surprise her with, I find it difficult to put it into words. She will feel loss, and grief, but also connection and love, spirit and darkness, black and anger, light and hope, laughter and fear. Everything in between, a kaleidoscope of emotions that shine and flicker from one moment to the next.

‘Jack, so much of what’s to come will change her life forever,’ I say eventually. ‘These letters, planned in the right way, will ensure you’re by her side every step of the way. Do you think she’ll want that?’

‘Yeah. Definitely.’ He smiles, convinced. ‘Good. Let’s do it. Look, I told her I’d only be in here for a minute, that I was dropping off some old stuff for my mum.’ He glances down at the bin liner by his feet. ‘It’s old newspapers, sorry.’

‘Well, best not leave her waiting.’ I stand and lead him back to the shop. ‘We can meet again soon, and you can give me more of a sense of her personality. What’s her name?’

‘Molly,’ he says, with a smile.

‘Molly.’

‘Bye, Jack,’ Ciara says.

‘Bye, Ciara, bye, Mags,’ he says with a grin.

The door closes and Ciara looks at me as though she’s seen a ghost. I rush to the window and watch him get into a car beside a pretty young woman. Molly. They’re chatting while he gets his keys ready.

Molly catches sight of me, and she smiles. In that look, that quick connection we make, she transports me back, so far back, I feel like I’m speeding through a black hole and my heart can barely keep up with the travel. I feel protective of her, like a parent, like a friend. I want to mind her, reach out to her, embrace her. I want to tell her to squeeze him, hold him tight, breathe him in, treasure every single second. I want to leave her alone and give her the space she so desires, let her build a wall around herself while patiently listening from the other side. I want to help her build that wall, I want to help her tear it down. I want to warn her, I want to give her hope. I want to tell her to keep going, I want to tell her to turn around and go back the other way. I feel like I know her so well. I know who she is and where she is now, the journey she is about to embark on and the distance she will go. And yet, I know I have to step back and let her get there on her own.

I may envy her a little at this moment, watching them together, but I don’t envy the journey ahead of her. I made it, I did it, and I’ll be rooting for her and waiting for her on the other side.

I return the smile.

And then they drive away.





ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS


Thank you Lynne Drew, Martha Ashby, Karen Kostolynik, Kate Elton, Charlie Redmayne, Elizabeth Dawson, Anna Derkacz, Hannah O’Brien, Abbie Salter, Damon Greeney, Claire Ward, Holly MacDonald, Eoin McHugh, Mary Byrne, Tony Purdue, Ciara Swift, Jacq Murphy and the wonderful innovative teams at HarperCollins UK and Grand Central Publishing US. Andy Dodds, Chris Maher, Dee Delaney, Howie Sanders, Willie Ryan, Sarah Kelly. Thanks to all at Park and Fine Literary and Media especially Theresa Park, Abigail Koons, Emily Sweet, Andrea Mai, Ema Barnes and Marie Michels. To the booksellers far and wide. To the printers. To the readers. To the sources of my inspiration; the divine and the everyday.

My parents, my sister, my family, my friends, my David, my Robin, my Sonny.




About the Author


Cecelia Ahern’s debut novel, PS, I Love You, became one of the biggest-selling novels of recent years and was made into a hit Hollywood film. She is published around the world in forty-seven countries, in over thirty languages and has sold over twenty-five million copies of her books. She has written fourteen novels, two Young Adult novels and a highly acclaimed collection of stories, Roar.

She and her books have won numerous awards, including the Irish Book Award for Popular Fiction for The Year I Met You in 2014. PS, I Love You was awarded two Platinum Awards at the 2018 Specsavers Bestseller Awards, for the UK and Ireland.

Cecelia Ahern lives in Dublin with her family.

For more information on Cecelia, her writing, books and events, follow her on Twitter @Cecelia_Ahern, join her on Facebook www.facebook.com/CeceliaAhernofficial or Instagram @official_ceceliaahern, and visit her website www.ceceliaahern.com.