Playlist for the Dead(29)

Worth taking a look, I figured, and booted it up. It made some noises that sounded vaguely familiar; I’d seen Hayden start up his computer before. And then, of course, came the log-in screen. Hayden’s user name came up right away—HaydenStevens, his Gmail user name, nothing fancy there—but I still needed to fill in the password. I had no idea what it was.

I typed in a few things, halfheartedly—Radiohead, the name of his pet gerbil from when he was a kid, lyrics from songs I knew he liked. Then it came to me: it had to be ArchmageGed. I typed it in, sure I’d nailed it.

Nothing.

Apparently it was only in the movies that you could just go in and figure out someone’s password. Especially if you’re a regular person like me and not some computer genius. I guessed Hayden would still be able to keep his secrets from me. Just like before.



I SPENT THE REST OF THE WEEKEND alternating between trying to figure out Hayden’s password and setting up his games on the downstairs TV, both of which conveniently kept my mind off the possibility that I’d somehow turned into a rogue revenge warrior without remembering it. I kept the computer on next to me as I played; every time I thought of something new I’d type it in, holding my breath in anticipation, but I wasn’t having any luck. The games were a welcome distraction. Mom wasn’t super thrilled about it, but I guess she figured it was better than Mage Warfare, since at least I was out of my room. Rachel was annoyed I’d taken over the TV until I told her I’d teach her how to play Halo.

“It’s a first-person shooter game,” I told her. “Not usually my favorite, but everyone seems to love it.”

“It seems pretty dorky to me,” she said, but I could tell she was interested.

“Here, hold the controller like this. The left stick moves your avatar, and you can use the right one to look around.” I showed her how to do it and then set up a game where she and I could play against other people.

“How do I shoot stuff?” she asked.

I showed her the different weapons and we were good to go. It was fun to watch her get so into it; she liked the shoot-’em-up stuff better than I did. Except I couldn’t get her to stay on mission.

“You get that we’re playing as a team, right?”

Her avatar threw another grenade at mine, a quick-detonating one. In real life I’d have lost a leg, but maybe I’d still be alive. “Every man for himself, little brother,” she said.

“You’re not exactly a man,” I said.

“Neither are you,” she snapped back, and her avatar aimed his gun at me.

Time to bring this into the real world. I picked up one of the couch pillows and threw it at her controller. Or tried to, at least; I ended up hitting her in the elbow. It did the job, though, and her avatar missed his shot.

“Look, you actually did something useful,” I pointed out. “Even if it was by accident.” Her stray bullet had hit one of the enemy aliens.

But I’d started a war. I’d barely gotten the word “accident” out of my mouth before Rachel started pelting me with couch pillows. How had she grabbed them so fast? We started whaling on each other like we had when we were little, before Dad left, before Hayden, even. I took so many blows to the head my ears were ringing, though I’m pretty sure I got in a few good shots myself.

I don’t know how long we were fighting before we collapsed on the floor, out of breath and starving. After raiding the kitchen for Mom’s hidden stash of junk food, we settled back in to play another round. Cooperatively, this time, like we were supposed to in the first place.

We played for so long she ended up blowing off a date with Jimmy, which I would have felt bad about if we weren’t actually having a good time. We’d trashed the living room, but it was totally worth it. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d done something fun together.

I knew video games weren’t going to solve my problems, though. They wouldn’t help me make new friends, they wouldn’t make Astrid decide she wanted to ditch Eric and hang out with me, and they wouldn’t answer the question of who’d beat up Jason and Trevor, a question that in some ways I was afraid to learn the answer to. But they kept my mind off of everything, and right now, that was all I could possibly want. Sitting in front of the TV had the added benefit of keeping me away from my computer; I was afraid the Archmage would come back, and I wasn’t quite ready to hear what he had to say.

But Monday had to come eventually, and with it came a note in homeroom telling me to go see Mr. Beaumont as soon as I had a free period. This couldn’t be good. I spent the morning ignoring my teachers in class and the stares of people in the hall who must have heard about Trevor and the rumors that I’d been involved. I could tell my teachers weren’t sure if enough time had passed to start calling me out for not paying attention, but they all opted against it, for which I was only somewhat grateful. Getting yelled at would have taken me out of my own head, where I contemplated the odds of my having gotten so blackout drunk that I could have no memory of taking a baseball bat to Trevor. I didn’t want to think about why Mr. Beaumont wanted to see me; I wasn’t ready to deal with him yet.

I was still stewing over the likely scenarios at lunch, while I waited in line for a slice of pizza that looked as if it had been microwaved twice, listening to the playlist on my iPod on random. My appetite wasn’t improved by the sight of Astrid sitting at my lunch table, waiting for me; the sight of her made my stomach drop, though in a good way. I took out my earbuds as soon as I saw her. She looked as pretty as ever; the streaks in her hair were different shades of green today, making her look almost like a sea creature and bringing out the green in her eyes. Her fingers drummed on the tray in front of her, and she jumped up as soon as I put my tray down.