Playlist for the Dead(22)

I felt a poke on my left shoulder and turned toward it, only to find no one there. I heard Astrid laugh from my right side. “That still works on you, huh? Glad to see you two hitting it off.”

“It was nice to meet you, Sam,” Damian said. “Maybe I’ll see you around school?”

“Sure thing,” I said, and turned to Astrid. “You’re right on both counts. He seems really cool, and I’m very gullible. And possibly a little buzzed.” It was true; I was feeling looser, more relaxed. This must have been what people were going for. I could almost understand why people went to parties. Or at least why they tolerated beer.

“From one beer? You really weren’t lying about not drinking much. Here, have another one.” She handed me a bottle.

“Three, actually. And I don’t lie.” Which was mostly true.

We walked over to the couch, which was mercifully unoccupied, and sat down. It had seen better days, and the cushions sagged so much I had to restrain myself from sliding into Astrid’s lap.

“You don’t lie at all, huh?” she said. “So you’ll answer any question I ask, truthfully?” Her couch cushion must have been sagging too, because she kept moving closer and closer to me.

“I didn’t say that. What about you? Are you a liar?” I meant it to sound flirty, but it came out kind of harsh.

I thought maybe she’d be offended, but instead she lowered her eyelids. I could see that her eye shadow matched her outfit, all streaks of silver and gold. Even her eyelashes seemed to have gold mascara on them. “I’ve told some white lies. I try to avoid the whoppers, but sometimes it’s just a matter of evasion. How about you test me? Ask me a question.”

Well, she was giving me an opening. We were sitting so close now our legs were pressed against each other. “Tell me how you knew Hayden.”

She sat straight up and moved fully back onto her own cushion. It was like an invisible wall had dropped between us. Her hand moved to her head and she started pulling at one of her shiny hair extensions, and I realized she did that when she was nervous.

“After all that, you’re not going to tell me?” I asked. “So much for not lying.”

“It’s not that,” she said. “I just want you to have fun at this party, to get your mind off sad things. To not have to think so much about Hayden.”

“I don’t really think about anything else these days,” I said, and that was only a little bit of a lie. Because I’d been thinking about her. A lot. “But if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.”

“No, I will.” She sighed, and I could tell she was thinking about the day she’d have to do it. I could see the image of bold, confident Astrid slip a little, revealing someone more anxious and nervous underneath. Someone more like me, maybe. “Someday, I promise. Let’s just enjoy the party for tonight, though, okay?” She leaned in closer to me, and the room got quiet, almost as if the party itself knew something important was about to happen.

And unfortunately, it did.

“What’s up, loser?”

Trevor.



HE LOOMED OVER THE COUCH, enormous and menacing. I pulled farther away from Astrid, who I could see was getting angry, and stood up. Of course he’d come now, just before it seemed like something was going to happen, even if I didn’t know what.

“What are you doing here?” Astrid asked, her eyes narrowed.

“Stay out of it, Alison,” he said.

Alison?

“Don’t call me that,” she said.

What was he talking about? And what was he doing here? This wasn’t his kind of party.

“You were out of line at the funeral, you little asshole,” he said, and pushed me back down on the couch.

I tried not to flail in the cushions before getting up again, but there was no way to be graceful about it. “So you crashed a party to pick a fight with me? That’s your solution?” I could feel the fury growing in me. He was the one who made Hayden’s life miserable, and now he was mad at how I’d behaved at his funeral? Seriously? “Look at you—you’re a giant. You wouldn’t even feel it if I hit you. It’s so important to you, to preserve the sanctity of Hayden’s funeral, the kid whose life you helped to make a living hell? There wouldn’t have even been a funeral if it wasn’t for you.” Yelling at him was actually making me feel better. I barely noticed that there was a circle of people around us, watching. I wondered what they would do if Trevor really did decide to go after me.

“You’re one to talk,” he said. “What makes you think you can put it all on me? I saw you at that party, just standing there, watching it all go down. Like you had his back? What makes you such a hero? At least I’m here because I’m looking out for my friend.”

“Well, your friend can do just fine on his own. Now he doesn’t have an annoying little brother to make him look bad at school. He must be so happy.”

Was I trying to make Trevor hit me? I didn’t have time to think about it before his fist connected with my cheek; it felt like my face had been turned into a baseball and someone had just hit a home run. It probably only took a second before I was back on the couch again, but it felt like it took ages to land.

“Made your point, Trevor?” I heard Astrid say. “Now get the fuck out of here.” I felt the cushions sag as she sat down next to me. “You okay, Sam?”