Play for Keeps (The Devil's Share #6)(11)
“Shut. Up. How do you know it’s a girl?”
“Dill peeked.” Lexi laughed quietly. “Maybe it’s because our family is just so awesome, maybe these little girls just can’t wait to join in on all the fun.”
I fell asleep listening to both my girls’ sweet snores, and thanking God that they were healthy and safe next to me.
***
“You want some pancakes, baby?”
“I’d love some, thank you.” Lexi shook her head at me, laughing. “Oh were you talking to Halen?” I winked. “Are you planning on heading up the hospital after breakfast?”
“Yeah, Dilly sent me a list of things she needs since she’s going to be there for a couple weeks.” Lexi bit her lower lip, telling me she was about to say something that was making her nervous. “I was thinking we may need to postpone the wedding. Just until we know what’s happening with Dilly and the baby?”
I took a deep breath, trying really hard not to let everything I wanted to say fly across the room. “Do you really think that Dill and Smith would want us to move our wedding? Don’t you think that would upset her? To know that we postponed because of them?” I shook my head. I couldn’t help it. It just came out of my mouth. “This is just the excuse you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?”
Lexi closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them, she fixed her gaze on me. “Is that what you think? That I’ve been looking for a way to not marry you? Are you insane?”
I shrugged, annoyed as hell. “I don’t know, you tell me, Lexi. You want nothing to do with planning this wedding. You aren’t involved, physically or emotionally. You don’t want another baby. You’re drowning yourself in work and you’re avoiding me at all costs. What else should I think?”
“Maybe you should think about me. Think about your fiancée and the mother of your child.” She threw her hands in the air. “I’ve been busting my ass around here, trying to earn this amazing job that was handed to me on a silver platter. I work sixty-hour weeks with a baby on my hip. I’m so sorry that I don’t have hours to sit and ohh and ahh over groomsman ties.
“Why is it all my responsibility? It’s your wedding too. And I’m sorry if my best friend lying in a hospital bed relieved that her baby is still alive and healthy is such an inconvenience to you.”
She was on a tear. I’d never seen her like this before.
“As far as us having another one? How selfish can you be? Huh? Are you the one whose life gets turned upside down? Are you the one who throws up and feels exhausted for months only to give birth and be exhausted all over again? Have your nipples ever bled? We have a one-year-old little girl, and you want another one? I just now feel like myself again, I just now feel like me. And you want me to start all the way over? Screw you, Dash.” She tossed a pancake at my head and then grabbed her purse off the counter. “You finish feeding Halen. I’m going to hospital, alone.” She slammed the front door on her way out.
I looked over at Halen; she smashed her breakfast in between her fingers and smiled at me, showing her four teeth. “Mommy is super pissed at Daddy, baby girl.” I got up and started to feed her the rest of her pears.
Was Lexi right? Was I being selfish? I was content to stew in my righteousness for an hour or so before I really examined things.
A minute later I heard the front door open and close. Had Lexi come back?
“Hey, man. Everything okay over here? Lex just blew past me on the way to her car and told me not to fudging talk to her.” Luke came in and grabbed a rag from the counter, automatically cleaning up the mess from Halen’s breakfast.
“I think Lexi and I just had our first real fight. Like real, pissed off, mad at each other fight.” We got annoyed, and we got irritated. But it never lasted long, and no one ever left angry. That wasn’t how we worked. Until now.
Luke wiped off Halen’s hands then picked her up. “Was it about the wedding and the baby stuff?”
“Yep.” I took the high chair tray to the sink, scrubbing it clean. “Lexi said we should postpone the wedding until Dilly is out of the hospital and I kind of went off on her.”
Luke winced. “She’s just thinking of the family, bro.”
“I know, I know.” I put the tray back and scooted the chair into a corner out of the way. “I think I’ve just been keeping all this anger and disappointment inside and I picked the wrong time to let it out. She basically told me to go fudge myself.”
Luke set Halen down next to her little basket of blocks in the living room. “Was she wrong?”
I put my hands on my hips, letting my head hang. Looked like Luke was going to make me own up to things. “No. I’m the one who’s in the wrong. I have all these expectations and images of the way things should be in my head. And I guess I just stopped thinking of everything involved with what I wanted. Lexi’s right, she’s the one who has to carry the baby. Halen is barely a year old, it’s selfish of me to ask for another one before she’s ready. And as far as this wedding? Maybe it’s just bad timing.”
“Lexi’s life has been in a constant state of change since she met you, man. She was always a free spirit, floating from one adventure to the next.” He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “She joined the tour, started working for us, got pregnant, got engaged, had a baby, built this house, and now she has a new job. A new job that she loves. Planning a wedding, working, taking care of Halen. Her plate is full. She never complains, and she gets shit done.” He tossed me my car keys off the counter. “Go apologize to our girl, make this right.”