People Like Us(20)

I despise lilies. They are the floral mascots of death and everyone knows it. I had to inhale their stench, mixed with the thick perfume of Catholic incense, during the funeral masses for all four of my grandparents, then Megan, and then my older brother, Todd, just two months later, the year before I started at Bates. I have no patience for lilies.

The service is longer than usual so that a variety of homilies, poems, and songs can be crammed in, and then afterward pastries and coffee are served. The room is thick with students and teachers, and I do my best to nod politely as they filter past one by one. It reminds me of Todd’s wake, when we were forced to greet every mourner. Like we were hosting a party or something. I resented every person who showed up for making me feel like I had to entertain them. Now I sense the same resentment bubbling up as fellow students gather me into weepy hugs and professors offer handshakes and low words intended to be comforting, but probably repeated on a loop to every student in the room. Robot words. I eventually manage to pull Tricia and Brie into a secluded nook where we can speak uninterrupted.

I’m observing Jessica’s family and nibbling a chocolate croissant when Maddy scurries over excitedly, pulling Cori by the elbow.

“Look likes Notorious has news,” Tricia observes.

Maddy ignores her. “We need to talk about Tai.”

“Didn’t we already do that?” Cori says, straightening her collar in the stained-glass window.

“I know what happened,” Maddy says meaningfully. She beckons us to incline our heads together and whispers into our ears, “She was doping.”

“Was not.” Tricia eyes my croissant and takes a sip of coffee. Tricia was extremely overweight her first year, and after a surgery and summer of extreme dieting, she’s physically transformed. Now she refuses to eat outside her nutritionist’s daily menus. She was stunning then and she’s stunning now, but she’s intense about sticking to her menu.

“Interesting.” Brie tilts her head at me.

“Why did she always have so much energy?” Maddy points out.

“Because we basically shotgun six cups of coffee a day,” I say.

“Yeah, but Tai was too good. No one plays that well and has time for a social life.” Cori drains her paper cup and slinks away to refill it.

Tricia bites her lower lip and then adds, “I’m glad it was that.”

I eye her curiously. “Why?”

She shrugs. “I was afraid it had something to do with Jessica’s death. It’s so paranoid of me. But she definitely knew her better than she let on. She hated her.”

“So you knew her, too,” Brie says.

“Only that Tai despised her.” Tricia flicks her wispy bangs out of her eyes. “Everyone has secrets,” she says knowingly.

I glance at Brie, but her eyes are fixed on the other side of the room. Nola is balancing on one foot like a ballet dancer and licking the sugar off a beignet.

I wind my way over to her. “Hey.”

She falls into a graceful plié. “Bonjour.” Today she’s wearing cat-eye makeup and dark mascara, and combined with her pale, almost colorless lips, it gives her a retro sixties look. Unlike the rest of the students, she has chosen not to wear a black dress, which is ironic considering her usual choice of clothing. Instead, she is dressed in the standard Bates Academy uniform.

“Did you hear about Tai?”

“I heard I was right and you were wrong.”

“That’s correct.”

A playful smirk creeps across her lips. “Say it.”

“I was wrong and you were right.”

She nods and takes a bite. “Well, this is crap.” She dumps her plate into the garbage and walks outside, and I follow her, pulling my tiny jacket on over my black dress.

There’s a choppy breeze blowing up over the lake, whipping a few rogue paper plates and coffee cups over the chapel lawn. It stings my legs and teases tendrils of hair from my braid and into my face. “I need your help cracking the password for the next recipe.”

“In exchange for . . . ?”

I halt. “We already had a deal.”

“That was for the initial password. What will you give me now?” She takes a pack of cigarettes from her pocket and lights one, and I pull her behind the chapel. Smoking is strictly forbidden.

“I don’t have anything you want.”

She leans against the Dumpster and taps her feet thoughtfully. “Get me a date with Jessica’s ex.”

I blink. “Greg Yeun? I don’t think he’s probably open to dating right now.”

“I’m not looking for love, I’m looking for a challenge.”

Clearly, she’s looking to challenge me. “I—I don’t know if I can manage that. I’m not a pimp.”

She shrugs. “The password software’s pretty basic. You probably don’t need me.”

“Okay, I’ll do it,” I say hastily, regretting it as soon as the words leave my lips. I have no idea how I’ll pull it off.

She sticks the cigarette between her lips and pulls her cell phone out of her pocket. “What was it, the delicious dish?”

“Revenge Is a Dish. Hold on.” I open my email from Jessica, copy the link, and send it to Nola. Then I check the class roster, and Tai’s name is gone. Task one, complete.