Out of Love(25)

When Slade Wylder infiltrated my world. That was when.

My gaze slipped to his chest. I couldn’t endure those eyes without him giving me something back.

“Then stop. Stop saving me. Stop watching me. Stop sending Jericho to be with me. Stop existing in my world.” I turned and drifted slowly toward the door. “Buy a girl flowers and reject her. Don’t take the life of the man who threatened her life then expect her to not want you beyond reason.” I opened the door and stared at my feet for several seconds. “It’s not fair.”





Chapter Eleven





The next morning, I let the girls go surfing without me with a warning about Elias. I wasn’t in the mood to get out of bed. I wasn’t in the mood to do life at all. After searching up Bella Blackwell and finding out that Slade was right about my fantasy guy, I just … couldn’t.

When a relentless knock at the door brought me out of my pout session, I grumbled a few expletives and dragged my ass downstairs. “What?” I threw open the door, my anger bleeding through every pore.

“Good morning to you too.”

A grin broke through my grumpiness in record time as I threw my arms around my Aunt Jessica—my dad’s twin. “What are you doing here?” I pulled back and gestured for her to step inside.

She slipped off her sneakers and flipped her long, dark hair over her shoulder. “I’m in LA on business this week, and I wanted to see my favorite niece.”

“And my dad wanted you to check in on me.” I shuffled my bare feet to the kitchen in need of caffeine.

“That’s a given, Livy.” She followed me.

“Tea?” I glanced over my shoulder as I filled my electric tea kettle.

“Please.” She perched on a barstool, depositing her purse on the counter. “You look good.”

I laughed, cranking open the window to let in questionably fresh air and the hum of the neighbor’s lawn mower. “My friends say I’m too skinny.”

“You surf twenty-four-seven. Of course, you’re going to burn calories like mad. I did too. Tell your friends to go fuck themselves.”

Aunt Jess was one of my favorite people in the whole world. She was the calm in the storm that was my dad after Mom died.

Grinning, I poured her a cup of hot water and handed her the jar of mixed teas. “Can’t tell them that. I like them too much.”

She shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

I leaned into the counter across from her, resting on my forearms while dunking my tea bag up and down in the mug, fresh mint and citrus waking me up. “I wish I had half your strength.”

She lifted her gaze from her tea, eyes narrowed a fraction. “What do you mean?”

Rubbing my lips together, I kept my attention on my tea, hoping to keep my emotions in check. “If I tell you something, can you promise not to tell my dad. Like … ever?”

“Does it involve your dad?”

“No.”

“Then yes. I won’t say anything. Unless … you’re pregnant. Livy, are you pregnant?”

Grunting a tiny laugh, I shook my head. Sex was required to get pregnant. I hadn’t had that in many months. “No. However, I almost had sex shortly after school started. But …” I fished my tea bag out of my mug and set it on a saucer. “It wasn’t going to be consensual.”

There was just no way to ease into an I-was-almost-raped conversation.

“Liv …”

Total lost cause.

The tears flowed freely. I hadn’t given myself permission to grieve the piece of my innocence he took without even raping me. Not with my dad. Not with my friends. Not even with Aubrey’s therapist.

“Livy …” Jessica hopped off her stool and had me in her arms in seconds, her warm embrace a salve to my raw emotions. She didn’t ask me what happened or a million other questions that my confession evoked. She just held me like my mom would have held me.

After my tears dried into streaks of salt settled on my cheeks, and my breathing faded to a hollow rhythm, she released me and pressed her soft palms to my cheeks. “There’s nothing you can’t tell me. There’s also nothing you have to tell me.”

God … I loved her so much.

Sniffling, I snagged a wad of paper towels and blew my nose, the unladylike sound buying time for me to muster enough courage to keep talking. “I stopped for gas. Went inside to grab a slice of pizza. Came out. And he was there. In a blink. Shoving me against the Jeep.” I drew in a shaky breath and spewed out the rest. “My bag with the pepper spray was in the Jeep on the floor. And everything Dad ever told me about escaping an attacker …” I shrugged. “It just vanished in a cloud of fear. I felt so helpless and weak. He shoved the tip of his knife into me and forced me to the side of the building behind a dumpster. Shoved me to the ground.”

I fisted my shaking hands and hugged my torso, hating the way my whole body relived that night.

“He put the knife to my neck and got on top of me. All I could imagine was my mom seeing it happen from … somewhere. I closed my eyes. And in a blink … he was gone.”

“Gone?” She tipped her head to the side.

“Yes. They found him not too far from the convenience store … dead. Someone slit his throat with the same knife he used while attempting to rape me.”