Only Human (Themis Files, #3)(61)

—Your friend Alyssa got me out.

—My—Alyssa’s not my friend. Are you sure she’s the one?

—Yes! I’m sure. I was there! I had to be there. That’s an important part of being let out. She walked me out the front door of the building, in the middle of the day! She should have been more surreptitious. They arrested her five minutes after I left. Anyway, it would seem she’s more of a friend than you thought.

—I’m having a hard time believing she would do anything out of kindness.

—Well, here I am. But you’re right, she is not a bundle of joy. Lots of negativity. She didn’t laugh at my jokes once, and there were some good ones!

—She had me thrown out of the building when I asked for her help.

—With getting me out?

—Yes.

—That makes sense. She’s smart. No fun, but smart.

—How is that smart?

—Everyone would know you were involved if you were anywhere near me when it happened. Do I need to remind you how I ended up in there in the first place?

—They’ll still suspect me.

—Probably. That’s why we’re meeting here.

—Your note said: “Don’t change anything. See you soon. Mr. Burns.” How did you know I’d be here, and this early?

—It’s Saturday! Coffee and cinnamon rolls at Medici, on your way to the Compton lectures.

—But I haven’t been to those in, what, almost twenty years!

—You weren’t in Chicago. I had a feeling you’d go back to old habits right away.

—Am I that predictable?

—Well, yes. Everyone is. I’d do the same thing. Old shoes, old shirt, a familiar meal. For a moment, the world makes sense again. Oh, and that lecture on Majorana particles sounds fascinating. Do you mind if I go with you?

—Aren’t you afraid someone will see you?

—The intelligence community at a physics lecture? I don’t think so. Though they might come if they read the title. They’d see Majorana and think everyone’s there to get high. The CIA is tapping your phones, but no one is following you.

—Good to know.

—Here. Let me pay for those.

—No, no. I got it.

—Dr. Franklin, aliens descended upon Earth to find people like me, and they killed one hundred million men, women, and children. Least I can do is buy coffee and cinnamon rolls.

—That was dark. You didn’t do anything other than being born, and you helped me when I needed it the most. If anyone is to blame, it’s me. I chose to build Themis, I’m buying coffee.

—Do you really blame yourself for all of this? You weren’t even here!

—I don’t. I thought we were making self-deprecating comments to decide who’s paying for breakfast. I used to. Blame myself, that is. I thought everything that happened, every death, every city destroyed…I thought that was all because of me. I’d fallen into a hole and caused all that somehow. But I didn’t. I didn’t gas a hundred million people, the Ekt did. I didn’t bomb Madrid or torture people. I didn’t break families apart because one of them lost the genetic lottery. I didn’t judge or hurt people because of their religion or where they were born. I didn’t lock them up. The world did all that. So, no, I don’t feel responsible for all this. That doesn’t make me feel any better. That doesn’t help me fix it either. I can’t fix…us. It’s people that are broken.

—You’re being too hard on people, just like you can be too hard on yourself. People got scared. Rightly so! What happened here nine years ago wasn’t anyone’s fault. It just happened. People have the right to be emotional, and irrational, from time to time.

—Irrational? We’ve lost our collective mind! Scientists are ignoring their own findings. People are denying even the most basic scientific facts because it makes them feel better about hurting each other. Do you realize how horrifying that is? We’re talking about human beings making a conscious effort, going out of their way, to be ignorant. Willfully stupid. They’re proud of it. They take pride in idiocy. There’s not even an attempt to rationalize things anymore. Muslims are bad because they are, that’s all. Why would you need a reason? It’s one thing to let your child go blind because you read on Facebook that the measles vaccine would make him autistic, it’s another to ship him off to a work camp because he inherited his grandmother’s genes instead of Grandpa’s. Our entire race is trying to lobotomize itself. It’s as moronic and repulsive as someone cutting off their own legs.

—You’re not in a happy place right now, are you?

—I’m sorry. It’s just…Responsible or not, I want things to get better, and I don’t know how.

—Let me tell you a story.

—Oh please!

—There was this axolotl.

—Really?

—Yes. An axolotl. It’s an amphibian—

—I know what it is. It’s a salamander from Mexico.

—Then what’s your problem?

—I don’t have a problem. There just aren’t that many axolotl stories being told.

—I have lots of axolotl stories, thank you very much. May I continue?

—Yes. Yes. I’m sorry.

—There was this axolotl named Jeff. Jeff was sort of a local hero. He had once fought an African tilapia, all on his own, and lived to tell the tale. Axolotls are known for their ability to regrow limbs, but Jeff had lost all four of his legs along with his tail during that David and Goliath moment of his, and none of them grew back to their original size. Suffice it to say that Jeff looked kind of funny. But regardless of Jeff’s physical appearance, he was a good storyteller and little axolotl jaws dropped every time he told the tale of how he lost his tail. Not long after the ordeal, Jeff had decided that he would use what happened to him to do some good, make the salamander world a better place. He began giving motivational speeches to everyone who would listen—and everyone would listen. Even tiger salamanders would stop by to listen to Jeff. He became known across the lake for his pep talks, a little Tony Robbins with gills.