Only Human (Themis Files #3)(53)

—I know what I said, Alex. I’m telling you we can do this. I know we can. Put your hands on the ground. Higher. I’m folding my legs. That’s as far as I can go. Push up with your elbows and move your butt forward. Now bend forward … And PUSH! PUSH! PUSH! And …

—Ouch.

—Yeah. That wasn’t even close.

—What makes you think it’s even possible?

—It ought to be!

—Can you do it? With your knees bent that way, can you get up?

—Yeah, but there’s a lot of wiggling involved. It’s hard to wiggle when you only control half your body and you’re standing up pretending to be down.

—How about a kick up? I can do a kick up.

—That doesn’t work with the knees reversed. You end up planting your feet straight, and nothing happens. It doesn’t work if you can’t bend your toes. Also, she weighs seven thousand metric tons. Let’s try again.

—No!

—Come on! Move our butt over our legs, and push! ARGH! You need to push harder.

—You do realize I am not really pushing the gigantic robot with my arms?

—I know. I know. Maybe we need to shift the weight more.

—Maybe we need to roll over.

—All right, all right. Roll us over.

—Finally.

—Move us backwards. Knees are bent, now push!

—Ugh! There! This is how you get up.

—I know how to get up! I’m the one who showed you. I just know there is a way to do this. She can teleport herself and destroy cities. She should be able to get back on her feet without rolling over.

—She can’t scratch her back.

—Fair enough. But I’m not giving up.

—You do that. Just not with me.

—Hey, Alex, can I ask you something?

—Yes.

—Do you really want to do this?

—Shoot at rocks? Yes. It’s fun.

—The whole thing. You know we’re not just gonna shoot at rocks. At some point, they’ll send us out against real people, and things will go bad for everybody. Do you really want that?

—I volunteered.

—Why?

—It’s better than prison.

—Is it?

—I have a wife, three kids.

—You do? I’ve never seen them.

—I have not seen them in four years. But as long as I do what I’m told, they will be taken care of. They will be safe.

—Is their blood like ours?

—No, they are all A2s. My youngest, Lily, is a pureblood.

—I don’t understand. Why do they need to be protected?

—They don’t if I do what I’m told.

—They threatened you after you volunteered?

—They call it insurance. You look surprised.

—Not at that. From what I’ve seen, that’s just par for the course. I’m surprised you volunteered. You don’t strike me as the war type.

—I will do what needs—

—Alex, stop. That was a compliment. It’s why I agreed to pilot with you.

—You did not have a choice.

—I didn’t, that’s right, but I agreed anyway. I know you’ll do what you have to do. I just like that you’re not eager to do it.

—I love my country.

—You do? Still?

—I hate the people running my country. But I love Russia. Always will. Like my children. They do things I don’t like, but they are still my children. Besides, everyone is doing bad things now. You can’t hate everyone.

—No, but close.

—What about you? Do you just not care about your country?

—My country doesn’t really exist anymore.

—You know what I mean. You are piloting a Russian war machine.

—Themis isn’t Russian. And yeah, I do care. Like I said, my country doesn’t exist anymore, but the people in it do. I lived in Chicago when this all started, and I also care about Americans, deeply.

—They will call you a traitor.

—Oh yes. They will. They’ll be right, sorta. If a traitor is the opposite of a patriot, then that’s what I am.

—You don’t like patriots?

—I like the concept. It sounds good. To love the place where you’re from, nothing wrong with that, right? It’s all good. But is it love, really? Or is it pride?

—I don’t understand.

—Well, you can love something that’s flawed. It’s harder to be proud of it. Can you love something you’re not proud of? Much easier if you can do both. That’s where it gets messy because you need a reason. You have to have something to be proud of. Is it quality of life, education? How would you know? It has to be something much simpler. You, and people just like you. You start believing you’re better than everyone else. Other people, well, their culture is messed up, they have the wrong values, they’re not as good, not as smart, or they’re just plain evil. You can hate them or pretend you’re a good person and just be condescending. Everyone else is just as proud as you are for the exact same reasons, but they’re wrong, and you’re right.

That’d be just fine—you can buy more tanks and go to war with the guy next door—but then you look around and you see those same people inside your country. More than that, they want the same rights, the same opportunities, as everyone else. Shit, they could be in charge! So you start taking things away from them, making sure they’ll stay where they belong, and let the real citizens make the decisions. You step on your own people, you keep them down, because you’re proud of your country, because you’re a patriot.