Only Human (Themis Files #3)(36)
—I’m saying you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Bodie.
—Are we gonna have a problem here?
—There’s no problem, Bodie. It’s just that forty-five seconds from now, you’ll be asked to start World War III. We will. Not the whole army. Not fifty thousand men. Just you and me. Now I’m thinking maybe that’s not something you want on your conscience. Remember how many people died when this big guy showed up? We’re about to do it again. You and me. You and me, Bodie. Whoa, don’t you ever point a gun at me. Did you hear what I said? Holster that weapon, Captain.
—Central, we have a bit of a—HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
[Lapetus, this is Central. What did you say?]
It’s Themis! She just appeared right in front of us.
FILE NO. 2128
BROADCAST STATEMENT FROM VINCENT COUTURE
Location: Inside Themis, Saint Petersburg
Hello, everyone. My name is Vincent Couture. I prepared a short statement. If you don’t mind, I’m just gonna read from it. Here it goes.
To the United States government, and to the women or men piloting the alien device in front of me. I am inside Themis. I have recently returned from the alien world where this robot and the one I am staring at were built. I was brought there by the inhabitants of that planet along with General Eugene Govender, Dr. Rose Franklin, and Eva Reyes, my biological daughter.
I have been told that you are requesting our immediate release and are threatening to destroy the government building behind me along with everyone inside if that demand is not met immediately. Before you do anything you can’t take back, let’s all be clear on what that would mean. You would declare war on the Russian Federation. They would retaliate with … everything they have. Now, I know you might be thinking: Russia won’t start a nuclear war over this. They’d be hit just as hard, if not worse. Common sense will prevail. You’d be wrong. Don’t believe me? Imagine a battalion of Russian tanks turning the White House into a pile of rubble. Can you think of a scenario in which you say: Yeah, we’ll let this one slide? They will retaliate. So the real question is how many people are you willing to kill over this? Because it’s not hundreds, or thousands, or tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands.
Now let’s talk about those demands.
First, you should know that General Govender did not return with us. He died on the alien planet five years ago, so you’re not getting him back. As for my daughter, Eva Reyes, she is no longer here. Neither I, nor the Russian authorities, are aware of her location, but she is most likely on her way to the United States right now.
Second, Dr. Rose Franklin and I were never prisoners. We do not need to be rescued though we appreciate the thought. We are guests of the Russian Federation and have been treated as such since our arrival. However, given the tense nature of this situation, Dr. Franklin has agreed to return to the United States and should already be in US custody.
That leaves me. Let me remind you that I am not an American, so your request for my release is touching but baseless. I have no doubt that you can get the Canadian government to issue a formal request, but let me save you the trouble. I choose to stay. Let me restate that to avoid any misunderstanding. I am here of my own volition, and I choose to remain here. Your help is not required. Any attempt to remove me by force would amount to kidnapping.
Now for the main course, you’re not getting Themis either. I have agreed to pilot her and defend the Russian Federation against foreign aggressors until I feel it is no longer necessary. I have entered this agreement of my own free will. I have been assigned a Russian copilot, and Themis is now fully operational. We are ready to engage your robot and will do so in sixty seconds if it is still here. I can’t tell you how that fight will end, but I’m sure you know that I have disabled one of these robots in the past. In fact, I’m the only living person to have ever fought one of these robots and won. With that in mind, I implore you not to test my resolve.
Now that we’ve covered your demands, let’s talk about mine. Yeah, I have some too. I demand that the United States remove any troops from Canada. I … I demand that the sovereignty of my country be restored fully, and immediately. I want my parliament to be allowed to meet. I’m not gonna let you bully everyone with that robot of yours anymore. That’s not what these things are made for. They’re supposed to be instruments of peace. I want the EDC restored. I want things back the way they were. Did I just ask for world peace? I think I just did. So until you can deliver that, don’t mess with me.
Oh yeah, I have also been asked to inform you that, as a precaution, Russian and Chinese submarines, each carrying a full complement of nuclear warheads, are currently under way to North America. But you knew that already.
So … Your call. I’ll even let you throw the first punch. Just make sure we don’t get up again.
That’s all I have to say. This is Vincent Couture. Over and out.
…
…
…
Oh, thank God! There. I’ve done it. They’re gone now. You can put the gun down.
Katherine, tell your man to put the gun down. Please.
[Oh, sorry. I’m just … WOW! Thank you, Vincent. Well done! I knew you could do it. What was that “I demand” bit at the end? I thought we’d agreed on your speech.]