Only Human (Themis Files #3)(27)
—I like it here, Dad.
—That’s good. I just don’t want you to get too attached if we’re going soon. I don’t even know how long these things live. Mr. Yotyot might be like a hundred years old already. Oh, before I forget. Rose is having all of us over for dinner tonight.
—You said we’d spend the day together.
—We are. We’ll be together, with Rose and Eugene.
—But it’s my birthday!
—I know! That’s the point! Rose even found something that resembles a cake!
—I thought we could just … hang out, just the two of us.
—How about this? We’ll have dinner with Rose and Eugene, then we’ll go home and … hang out all you want … I think I might be too old to use that phrase.
FILE NO. 2117
LETTER FROM EVA REYES TO VINCENT COUTURE
Vincent,
If you’re reading this, it means that guy came through on his promise, and I’m gone. I guess it also means that everyone in the GRU has combed through it looking for clues, some sort of secret code. How’s this? The pigeon is well done. The blind man can’t see a thing. Fuck you all.
This is it. I don’t think I’ll ever see you again. The truth is, I hope I never do. I wish I could tell you all this in person, or at least in private, but this will be easier on both of us. Katherine already knows I didn’t want to leave Esat Ekt, and I don’t give a shit what else she knows about me.
You took everything from me, Vincent. Everyone I knew. Everything I cared about. It was my home! My esat! You may not have liked it, but that was my home. I liked it there. I belonged. I had a life, my life, and you took it away. You chose to.
Even Ekim. You know he didn’t deserve this. He was innocent. All he cared about was helping people, and me. It probably doesn’t mean much to you, but it meant the world to me, having someone look at me that way, like I could do nothing wrong. It didn’t matter how much I tried to push him away, how mean I was to him, he kept looking at me that way, always. He also kept telling everyone I was his eputet. That made me mad to no end. He knew, that’s probably why he kept doing it. Every now and then, I’d let him get away with it. No shoving him against the wall, no mean joke. You should have seen his face. I don’t know if I was in love with him, but I loved how he made me feel. I liked me when he was around, and that hasn’t happened a lot. Now he’s gone. You took that away too.
There’s nothing for me here but bad memories. My parents, Kara. Everyone I ever cared about here is dead, dead because of me. People here made fun of me because I was different, they mocked me for who I was. Now I’m even more of a freak. They put me in a glass room, stick needles in me all day. What made you think I could possibly want that? Everything I had, Vincent, you tore it from my hands. You took the good away and sent me back to where it hurts. I hate you for it.
Was it worth it? Was it worth killing Ekim? I hate you if you say yes. I hate you if you say no. I hate you, Dad. I bet you tell yourself you did all this for me. Well, I didn’t yokits want it. That should have meant something.
I don’t know what I’ll do or where I’ll go from here, and I wouldn’t tell you if I did, but wherever I end up, it will be my choice. I choose this. Me. I want you to remember that. You’ll probably never admit it, but you’re better off without me, and I really don’t think I can be worse off. I know you tried your best. I know it wasn’t easy, and I’ll always love you for it. But I hate you all the same.
E.
P.S. Hey Katherine! Toodeloo!
Part Two
* * *
HELL OUT OF DODGE
FILE NO. EE098—PERSONAL FILE FROM ESAT EKT
Personal Journal Entry—Dr. Rose Franklin
Location: Assigned residence, Etyakt region
We’ve been on Esat Ekt for almost four years, yet somehow, we’re still strangers. There’s a distance between us and them, an invisible wall we can’t traverse. I want to break that wall, but I don’t know how. They smile at us, give us the occasional elbow grab, a sign of affection, but there is no warmth, no real connection. It feels like wearing gloves all the time.
We don’t know what we are. No one knows. On the one hand, our species has some of their genetics. By law—their law—that should make us Ekt. That’s why we were made citizens. If that’s true, we can’t leave this planet, ever. On the other hand, only a very small portion of our genetic makeup is affected by theirs. I for one show no signs of genetic interference. None. By that reasoning, we have no business on this planet at all. They don’t allow aliens. The Etyakt region can’t give us citizenship. If we’re aliens, we go home. So, either we can’t leave or we can’t stay. The Great Council of Akitast stepped in to settle the matter, three years ago. While they debate, we remain in limbo. We’ve also become the topic of a lot of debate. Our region, Etyakt, is very diverse. More than half the population is from other worlds, at least in part. They identify with us. They see what happened on Earth, the Ekt killing millions of us, and they fear they could be next. There are a lot of protests. Those in Osk—the population there is much more homogeneous—blame us for what is happening. They want us gone as fast as possible. I think that’s why the Council can’t come to a decision. Let us stay—force us to stay if you ask Vincent—and you anger people in Osk. Send us away and you risk making the part-alien population even angrier.