One Moment Please (Wait With Me #3)(86)

Kate’s voice cuts into my moping. “But you said yourself, Lyns, that this baby is not a mistake.”

“She’s not,” I rub my belly protectively, wondering why I feel drunk when I haven’t had a sip of alcohol. “Did I mention I think it’s a girl?”

“What makes you think that?” Kate asks, her eyes wide and hopeful.

“I had a dream,” I reply with a sigh. “It involved Josh delivering our little girl in the back of a minivan while he was dressed as a pirate. I have no idea why he was dressed up or where the minivan came from, but it was like a scene straight out of a rom-com.”

“A girl would be nice,” Kate says with a smile.

“A girl will be screwed,” I snap. “Because men suck. No offense, Dean.”

“No offense taken.” He shrugs.

“Although you suck too. You only love women who are safe for you to love. Friends who won’t threaten your singleness. If you tried to love that baker you’re obsessed with, then you would surely show your suckage spots well.”

“Why are we talking about me?” Dean straightens his glasses. “You’re the one who’s pregnant and just left your fiancé doctor yesterday.”

My head sags into my hands. “Because I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.” Kate takes my hand from across the table. “You deserve epic love. And if he can’t give that to you, it was smart for you to leave.”

“Except that epic love isn’t real life,” Dean interjects.

“Shut up, Dean,” Kate snaps and eyes him harshly. “I’m proof that epic love does exist. Just because you’re a grumpy cynic doesn’t mean the rest of us have to be.”

He grumbles under his breath and takes a sip of his mocktail. I glance back and forth between my two friends who have been trying to cheer me up for the past few hours—it’s not working. It’s not working because having a baby alone is terrifying. And being pregnant with a broken heart is just freaking painful.

I don’t want to eat.

I don’t want to feel.

I don’t want to think.

I just want to go to sleep and wake up in Josh’s bed with the baby in my arms as he watches us sleep.

I could see that life with him. I could see it so clearly that I ignored all the signs that he wasn’t all in. God, I’m such an idiot.

“So, what is your plan exactly?” Dean asks, gazing at me from across the table. “I honestly don’t know why you’re still staying here with Kate when I told you that you could come live with me. I’ll help you raise the baby. I don’t have an epic love distracting me the way Kate does. You and the baby can be my epic love.”

“Hey, asshole,” Kate growls, glaring at Dean. “She can stay here as long as she likes. My love story doesn’t get in the way of my friendships.”

Dean shakes his head. “I just think it’s fucked up she won’t stay with me out of respect for a man who couldn’t respect her enough to be honest with her about his past.”

I exhale heavily. Dean’s right. I’m a mess. As soon as I left Josh’s, I drove straight to Kate’s, knowing I couldn’t go to Dean’s and hurt Josh like that.

“I don’t know why I still care about him,” I croak as tears blur my vision for the umpteenth time.

Kate’s voice is gentle. “Because you love him.”

“Lot of good that does me,” I mope, wiping my tear-stained face with the sleeve of my shirt. “But you know what? It’s going to be fine. I have daycare lined up in Dr. Gunthrie’s building and a good job once I’m done with maternity leave. I can totally be a single mom. I have a little money saved up since Josh never cashed any of my checks, so I’m sure I’ll be able to swing a place of my own.” My eyes widen as a thought hits me. “Do you think Josh will cash my checks now that I’ve left him?”

Kate levels me with a flat look. “He doesn’t need your money, Lynsey.”

“And he doesn’t need this baby.” Or me, I add silently and take a long drink of my water.

Dean’s voice is harsh when he says, “I still can’t believe he’s not tried to text or call once. How big of a dick do you have to be to let your pregnant fiancée leave without calling once?”

My eyes close, and I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I think he wanted an out all along. I was just too stupid to notice.”

“You weren’t stupid.” Kate’s posture straightens defensively. “You loved Josh. You were going for it because you thought you could have a family and a life with him. Honestly, you weren’t stupid before, but now, I think you’re super dumb.”

“What?” I retort defensively. “How am I the dumb one?”

“Because you finally had a breakthrough moment with him about his past, and then you let him off the hook instead of standing your ground!” Kate hits me with her wide, crazy eyes.

“I left because he doesn’t love the baby, Kate!” I exclaim, my shoulders tense with anxiety. “He’ll never love the baby or me.”

“You can’t possibly know that.”

“You weren’t there,” I reply, shaking my head as the horrors of that night replay in my mind. “You didn’t see his cold face when I confronted him about his feelings or lack thereof.”