One Last Time(78)

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My God, I can’t take any more. He can keep his fucking money and my heart because neither of them is worth a damn. I walk to the front door, my hand resting on the cold metal, and I turn back around, trying to memorize this space.

“Goodbye, Noah,” I croak as a tear slides down my cheek.

I make my way outside with a hole where my heart used to be and walk the four blocks to the closest person who will believe me.



“Hello?” Erica answers the phone with a sleep-filled voice.

“You need to get that article off the fucking internet. I didn’t write that!” I sniff into the phone.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

I don’t have the time or the energy to discuss this. I need my friend and I need answers. “Just get the article down, Erica.”

“Okay, okay.” I hear shuffling around through the line. “I’m taking it down now, but you need to explain why I am. This article was amazing.”

The tears fall nonstop as I get closer to my destination. “It wasn’t. It was all lies and I never sent it. I don’t know what is going on, but take it off, it’s done enough damage.”

I disconnect the call and head up the stairs. When I reach the door, I ring the doorbell, now almost hyperventilating from crying so hard.

She doesn’t answer so I knock loudly, hoping to wake her.

“What the fuck—” Nicole’s eyes open wide, and I fall into her arms. “What happened?”

I start to sob, completely unabashed as I cling to my best friend. “He’s gone. He left me.”

“Who’s gone? Are the kids okay?” I shake my head as she rubs my back. “Kristin, talk to me! What the hell is going on?”

Nicole pulls my shoulders back with her concern etched on her face. I didn’t cry like this when Scott and I ended things. It didn’t hurt half as much as this does. I see the look in Noah’s eyes when he saw the email I never wrote, never sent. The way his voice was full of disappointment thinking I did this to us. His anger as he told me he was leaving anyway.

The stabbing pain in my chest is welcomed. The agony reminds me this is real, and I won’t wake up in a few minutes.

“Noah—” I pull in a shaky breath. “The article and . . . oh, Nic, it’s so bad. I don’t know how this happened, but he’s done with me. I’m so stupid for thinking this would work.” My voice trembles.

She leads us to the couch and wraps me in a blanket. I curl into a ball with my head in her lap like I did when we were little girls. Nicole looks at me with a sad smile as she plays with my hair.

“Complete sentences, Kris.”

“I feel like I’m dying inside.”

“I want to understand, honey, but you’re not making sense. What happened with the article?”

Nicole listens without saying a word as I explain the events of this morning. I flip between crying and anger when I tell her how I begged him to believe me. Yes, the evidence is damning, but he should’ve known. Instead, he left me there with a twenty and a note to further break my heart.

When there are no more tears left to cry, I just stare at the ceiling, completely numb.

After I’m silent for a while, Nicole speaks softly. “Would you have believed him?”

“What?”

“If the roles were reversed, would you believe he didn’t do it even after seeing it all?”

“Yes.” There isn’t a pause or a second thought in my answer. I push myself to sit up and wait for what made her ask that.

She sighs, and her gaze shifts to the floor. “I’m saying that it doesn’t make sense. How did you send your boss an email that you didn’t really send about all the stuff he told you? I know you would never do that, but I’ve known you since I was twelve. You’re not built that way, but even knowing you, I’m sitting here trying to make sense of it. I’m not a celebrity who has basically learned to distrust everyone or believe that people are just using me, but he is. You guys haven’t been together all that long, and . . .”

I start to shift, not wanting to hear this, but she grabs my wrist and pulls me back to the couch. “Let me go.”

“Not how this works. I know you didn’t do it, but you’ve got to see the whole picture.”

“Why do you have no problem believing me?” I ask.

“Because for my entire life I’ve wanted to be like you. I’ve wanted to be good, honest, loving, and half as pure as you are. There is no way you’re capable of destroying someone like that and living with yourself afterward.”

“Oh, Nic, you’re all those things.”

She pulls me into her arms. “This isn’t about me, but right there is what I’m talking about. I tell you something about you, and you turn it into me.”

I shake my head, trying to shove down the next wave of hurt. “I can’t do this. I can’t lose him. I know it seems so crazy, but I love him and I want a life with him. I thought he was my second chance. He was supposed to be . . .”

I can’t finish the words. It’s all too much. Loving him was easy, losing him is misery.

“I’m so sorry you’re hurting. You’ve had enough shit in your life, I hoped this would be different.”