One Last Time(53)

Kristin squeezes my hand a little. “I feel as though it’s all a dream. That I’m going to go to sleep, and none of this will have been real.”

“Look at me.” My voice is low and firm. “It is all real.”

“You’re the first thing in a long time that feels right.”

She humbles me. She brings me to my fucking knees with that statement. I don’t deserve Kristin. I don’t deserve a second chance, but I damn sure want this one.

“Then we figure it out together.”

Kristin lays her head back down and sighs. “What does all of this mean?”

“What do you want it to mean?”

I need her to tell me first because I’m afraid I’ll scare her off. There’s no way to describe how intensely I feel about her, and even if there were, I don’t think she’s ready to hear it.

I’m an overthinker by nature. I like plans and for those plans to stay on track. It’s how I’ve done well in my life. A task is presented and I tackle it head-on.

Kristin is the anti-plan. She’s the walk-off home run that no one expects. She’s the winning lottery ticket. She’s the girl I swore that, if I ever found her, I’d do anything to keep.

“What I want and what reality is are two different things. You’re a celebrity, and I’m a . . . well, I’m a sort of journalist. It’s my job to write things about you, and then we had a lot of sex. Like, stripped my sheets because they smelled like a whore house.”

I chuckle and nudge her leg. “Been to a lot of whore houses lately?”

“Shut up.” She laughs. “I’m awkward, and you’re perfect. I’m divorced with two kids, and you’re a bachelor. You’re rich, and I’m far from it. I live here, and you don’t. It’s incredibly stupid of me to think this is more than just some pretty mind-blowing sex.”

That’s where she’s wrong. If I wanted mind-blowing sex, I could get it anywhere. I’m not dumb enough to tell her that, but it’s true. There are perks to being rich and famous, women want to fuck celebrities. I didn’t fuck Kristin.

“It was more than that for me, sweetheart.” I move so that she can see the truth in my eyes. “You’re not some easy lay for me. I don’t need easy. I don’t care that you’re divorced from some asshole who treated you like shit. You’ve got a past, and so do I. If I thought for one minute you cared about money, we never would’ve made it past the first night. As for you being awkward, that’s what makes you perfect.”

“And then you say that.” She slaps her hand over her eyes. “Could you not be so damn perfect? Just . . . a little flaw. Something to stop me from falling for you. Anything really. I had hoped you had a small dick, but that didn’t work out.”

“Sorry to disappoint you,” I say and then burst out laughing.

“I didn’t mean . . . I give up. I’ll blame it on the lack of sleep. You have a very nice penis.”

I pull her closer and kiss the top of her head. “I’m glad you approve.”

Kristin nestles herself a little closer. “I haven’t found anything about you that I don’t approve of—yet.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something soon enough.”

Which is what I’m worried about.

She sighs. “Tell me about your family.”

“My dad left when I was a kid. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a mama’s boy, and that’s about it. What about you?”

Kristin shifts out of my hold, pulls her knees to her chest, and then wraps her arms around her legs. “My parents are amazing, they live in Tampa. They both grew up here, so they stayed, kind of like me. My dad was a salesman, Mom stayed home and was . . . seriously the perfect wife and mother ever. We have a small family, but by the noise we produce, you’d never know.”

I always wanted more family around. My father moved my mother to Illinois when they got married. Her entire family was in Kentucky. I asked her once why we didn’t go there, and she said she needed to stay put just in case.

That’s the one thing I wish I could give her—the years of wasted time, waiting for someone who was never coming back.

Kristin giggles a little. “It’s funny, I never saw the parallels until now. I think I envied my mother for so long that I tried to be her. Married the first boy I fell in love with, had kids, quit my job, tried to be Supermom, but I failed.”

“You’re not failing,” I tell her. “What did you fail at?”

She blows out a deep breath. “I don’t know, giving them stability?”

“You’d have stayed with him for them? You think that would’ve been a better situation than you being single?”

Asking this is a loaded question. I don’t really want to know the answer, but then again, I do.

Kristin’s eyes meet mine, and she shakes her head. “No, I was done. I wish they didn’t have to leave their home and start a new school. No matter what anyone says . . . one day, they’ll blame me. I’m the one who left.”

Relief floods me because the last thing I want to be is the guy she wishes were her ex.

“You’re also the one who told me that when Aubrey was sad you had a dance party. What about when Finn was struggling in math and you watched four hours’ worth of YouTube videos so you could explain it? Those are just the things you told me about last night. Leaving him is the best thing you could’ve done. They’ll see him for what he’s worth one day. Trust me.”