One Last Time(38)

“I didn’t know you read articles about yourself,” I say as I make my way to the couch.

I’m sure he has thick skin, but he isn’t made of Kevlar. Words can hurt, I know this better than most. Scott may have never physically assaulted me, but he planted seeds of doubt that bloomed into roses with thorns. Each prick drew blood, forcing a new rivulet of pain to flow, showing me that there were possible truths to his words. Even once those wounds healed, there was a scar to remind me that it happened. I would do anything in my power to never feel that way again and I completely understand why Noah would protect himself by not looking at articles.

He shrugs. “I don’t, but I wasn’t concerned with reading a bunch of bullshit. Plus, I needed to know if I had to discredit you with the information I have.”

My head hurts from this conversation. Him and his information. No one is going to care about what I do. Plus, he seems to forget I may not be able to say what was off the record, but I sure can use it to make his life hell.

Instead of arguing, I go back to the beginning of this discussion. “About the rules—”

“Yeah about that.” He cuts me off. “I think they’re dumb, and I’m not interested. We’ll just do this my way.”

Seriously? He doesn’t get to decide that. I’m the one leading this article, so there needs to be some sort of order. Plus, I don’t care if he’s interested, this isn’t up for debate.

“No rules, no article.”

“Again, I’m going to call bullshit.” He grips his chin with his hand. “When I talked to your boss, she was excited about this. I have a feeling you really don’t have a choice, do you?” He grins, and I fight the urge to punch him.

“Why is that, Noah?” I can’t wait to hear this one.

“Not a clue. I was simply helping out a friend. You know, job security is a rarity in this industry.”

Sure, I believe that one.

Noah walks into the living room like he owns the place.

I watch him, letting the one nagging question come back to my mind. “What made you decide to do this anyway? You’ve never done any kind of major press, so what could possibly be the reason you suddenly feel like telling your life story?”

“You.”

My lips part. “What?”

“Because of you,” Noah repeats.

I look for some sign that he’s joking, but there isn’t any. He’s completely serious. For a fleeting moment, I think it actually could be me, and then I realize I am being ridiculous. There is no reason for it to have anything to do with us; we’re nothing.

He wouldn’t stay in Tampa for weeks just for me, would he?

If he is, what the hell does that mean?

“Why would you say that?” I ask while touching my throat.

He pushes off the table and stands before me. “I’m being honest. I find that there’s no reason to beat around the bush. If you ask me a question and we’re not on the record, then you’ll never have to question my words, Kristin. It’s because of you that I’m here.”

I stare at him, hating that my life is so fucked up. That I’m so fucked up. If it were another time and place, I’d be all over him. In a few short days, I’ve felt more for Noah than I have for anyone in years. When he’s near me, I forget the rules of what I’m supposed to be . . . I just am.

But giving in to him would be a mistake. One I’m not prepared to make.

I’m damaged inside, and there are far too many bruises and broken bones left to heal before I can put myself out there.

“I know you think that, but you have no idea what I’m really like.”

Noah’s hand lifts and skims my cheek. “I know that your laugh makes my heart race. The way you smile when you think no one is watching stirs something inside me that makes me desperate for more. The way your entire face lights up when you talk about Finn and Aubrey. I know what it feels like to have you in my arms, touch your lips, and fuck, I’d be lying if I said I’m not wishing for it again. I think about you more than I should. I know that you think you’re weak, but I see a strong, beautiful, and smart woman who deserves a man to worship her. More than any of that, Kristin, I should walk out and let both our lives be a hell of a lot less complicated than trying to start something, but here I am. You’re worth complicating things.”

My breath hitches and I tingle from head to toe. “I do-don’t—” I stutter. “I’m . . . you’re . . .” The words I want to say won’t come out because each thought I have gets cut off by another.

His dark green eyes are open and expressive. His tone is playful, but his gaze isn’t. I see the desire, hope, and wonder there, and they stun me.

What were my reasons again? I can’t seem to remember them.

Noah inches closer, causing my heart to accelerate so fast I’m worried I might pass out. My thoughts are jumbled, my chest is tight, and I don’t know how to respond. I want him, I want him when I know I shouldn’t.

My divorce hearing is in a week, my life is a mess, and this is too soon. I shouldn’t have feelings for this man. I shouldn’t want his hands all over my body.

I should be pushing him back, forcing myself away from him because I don’t know if I can endure yet another heartbreak. The man I loved failed me, what is to say he won’t?