One Baby Daddy (Dating by Numbers #3)(58)

Not happy, Logan adjusts his shirt and turns toward room sixteen. One guy down, one more to go. Bringing my attention to Hayden, I muster up all the strength I can find. “You need to leave. Now.”

“Just give me a few seconds.”

I hold my hand up in front of his face so he sees I need him to stop. “We can talk later. I have to do my job and you’re making a spectacle. I wouldn’t come on the ice, interrupting one of your games, saying I need to talk to you. So I expect the same kind of respect.”

His jaw moves from side to side, the veins in his neck popping with anger. He looks like he’s about to explode. Seems like he hasn’t had the best of days. I’m right there with him.

Letting out a heavy breath, he asks, “You’re still coming over after work?”

“Yes, I’ll be there.” Even though I want to avoid this conversation like the plague.

“Okay.” Leaning down, he places a chaste kiss on my cheek and takes off, his retreating back acting like a prelude of what’s to come.

We need to talk.

I can only imagine how that conversation is going to go. He hasn’t made any true commitments to me. He hasn’t spoken about what our future looks like. He’s said this is the real thing, but when it came to working out something for when he went back to Philly, that was never discussed. Why would it be? Before Monday night, we hadn’t even had sex. He hadn’t been inside my body, so why discuss a future that may not have been in the cards. And now that he’s moving across the country? Why bother talking at all?

Los Angeles. New York.

How could we possibly make that work?

So this is what walking the plank feels like?

But instead of a gaggle of bloodthirsty sharks at the bottom of the plank, it’s the end of a relationship I never thought I wanted. And I don’t want it to end. I want all of this to go away. I want my boyfriend to stay in Binghamton. I want our bubble to remain intact. I want to walk into this house, throw my arms around Hayden and love him. I want him to be mine.

I don’t want to have this talk.

I don’t want to break his heart.

Sighing, I knock on the door of the cottage I’ve come to love, a sanctuary I used to hide away in after a long day of being on my feet.

It’s no longer a hideaway. It will be the place where I put on a brave face, and try to make it through this conversation without breaking down at his feet.

Hayden opens the door in what seems like a panic. His hair is standing on end, his clothes disheveled, a pinch to his brow. “Fuck, I thought you weren’t coming.”

“There was an accident on the way over here that delayed me.” There was no accident. I might have stopped off at a gas station and ate two Twix bars before coming here. I blame it on the non-existent baby in my uterus.

Not saying a word, he pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around my shoulders. For a brief moment, I allow myself to feel this man’s warmth, taking in his masculine scent, committing it to memory, allowing myself to get lost in his touch.

But only for a second.

Because my heart is already raw.

He’s been traded.

Traded.

No matter how many times I say it in my head, I still can’t fathom what this is going to do to us, what kind of relationship we’re going to be able to maintain. I was nervous about him going back to Philly, trying to work that all out, but now that he’s going to Los Angeles, that changes everything, it puts a giant chasm between what we have, what we share.

I don’t want to lose him, but how can we make this work? My mind is completely blanking.

Placing my hand on his chest, I put some distance between us, stepping away, trying to gather my thoughts.

“What are you doing?” He studies me, and I’m sure he wonders why I stepped out of his embrace. Maybe because it’s too much, having him that close, knowing I’m grasping for any kind of link to keep us together. Maybe because I don’t want to lose the one person who’s ever made me feel like I deserve more than a one-night stand. Bending at his knees to look me in the eyes, he says, “He told you, didn’t he? Logan told you.”

The anger in his eyes, the worry, it slays me as I take a step back. “I would have found out somehow,” I answer, looking up in time to see Hayden blow out a frustrated breath and rake his hand through his hair while turning to the side. His arms flex, his fists opening and closing. “He took any opportunity to get between us. I should have fucking known.” I’ve never seen this kind of anger in Hayden. The way he clenches his fist, like he’s about to blow his hand through the wall, the strong tick in his irritated jaw, the rise and fall of his proud chest; it’s startling.

“What are you talking about? Logan was being a friend. He thought I already knew and wanted to make sure I was okay.”

Spinning on his heels, Hayden boils with fury, nostrils flared, and jaw clenched. “Don’t be so fucking na?ve, Adalyn.” As if he slapped me in the face, I take another step back. I really don’t like this side of Hayden. I get that he’s upset and frustrated, but he doesn’t need to take it out on me or Logan. “I drove as fast as I could the minute I found out I was traded. I wanted you to hear it from me, but you didn’t give me the chance to fucking tell you. You sent me home.”

“Because I was working.” And I didn’t want to have that conversation in the middle of the nurses station. Surely he can understand that.