Not Pretending Anymore(36)
Once she left, I took a long sip of my pinot and decided to take up where the conversation had left off.
“Will… The truth is…even though I’m dating Declan, it’s not my intention to date more than one man forever. I’m looking for stability in the long run. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression I wasn’t. You already told me you’re not interested in a serious relationship. I respect your honesty, and that’s why I’m also being honest right now. I don’t want to waste your time if you don’t ever want anything serious. I—”
“Molly…” He held out his palm. “I think I need to clarify something. It’s true I didn’t want to get into anything serious right now , but I also think maybe I didn’t communicate properly on our first date. It seems you think the only reason I wanted to date you is because you were open to a casual relationship. That’s not true. I think you’re absolutely amazing, smart, beautiful—that’s why I’m drawn to you.” His eyes lingered on mine.
Feeling my pulse race, I said, “I appreciate you saying that, but I’m not sure we should continue things beyond tonight if you don’t think you want a serious relationship down the line.”
He stared off toward the entrance for a bit before meeting my eyes again. “How about this… I don’t want to stop seeing you. Not in the least. I think we should take this slow and with the goal of keeping an open mind. If we’re both feeling things are going well between us, I would love the option to date you exclusively. I suppose you would have to figure out your feelings for this other guy, though.”
I blinked, trying to process his words. “I would love to take it day by day. But you also said you didn’t want marriage and kids. I know it’s very premature to be talking about this, but those are things I definitely want someday. So if you’re sure you don’t want that kind of a future, that would be a hard limit for me.”
Will reached for my hand and looked deeper into my eyes. “Let me explain. Marriage and kids are not something I want in the near future. I’d like some time to travel and enjoy my life. My last girlfriend very urgently wanted those things. That was the main reason we broke up. That said, if I fall in love with the right person, I wouldn’t deny her the opportunity to be a mother. I would be open to having a child as long as it was the right time and the right woman.”
His contradictory statements between the last date and now definitely left me feeling confused. But nevertheless, tonight he’d given me a little hope back.
“I know it seems silly to be discussing such things on a second date,” I said. “But I don’t want to waste my time with someone who would completely close the door on a future from the get-go, and honestly, that was the impression you gave me.”
“Understood.” He smiled. “I hope I’ve eased some of your concerns about continuing to date me.”
“You did. Thank you.” I let out a long exhale before taking another sip of wine. “Well, that was a serious conversation for so early on in the evening.”
He laughed. “Yes, but see, now we’ve gotten it out of the way and can take the rest of the time to enjoy each other.”
Soon after, our food arrived. It was the perfect buffer to transition to a lighter vibe. Will and I had a fantastic, stress-free meal.
After dinner, we decided we didn’t want the night to end. Since his apartment was closer to the restaurant (and since mine was off-limits due to the fact that I lived with my supposed other man), we went to Will’s place to hang out.
He popped open a bottle of wine and played jazz music from his impressive collection of vinyl albums.
We enjoyed some heavy kissing, but things didn’t go further than that. Will was the perfect gentleman, but whether he was the perfect man for me remained to be seen.
***
Over the next few days I returned to my night shifts. Will was off, so I didn’t cross paths with him at work nor Declan at home. And I rather enjoyed the reprieve from obsessing over my feelings for each of them.
On my first day off, though, I arrived home from running errands to find Declan shirtless, cooking at the stove.
“Be careful you don’t start a fire,” I cracked over the music he played.
He turned to me and winked. “Because I’m hot?” He set the spatula down and startled me when he ran over and drew me in for a hug, his hard chest pressing against me, making me all too aware of my attraction to him.
He pulled back to look at me. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, roomie.”
I knew he’d spent at least one night at Julia’s this week, so I assumed they were having sex. That made me uneasy, but at least he didn’t insist on her sleeping over at our place.
“You hungry?” he asked.
The smell of French toast wafted through the air. So did the smell of Declan, his delicious, musky scent.
I swallowed. “I could eat.” Gosh . It felt different around him after the other night, like the volume on the sexual-tension meter had been turned from low to full blast.
“Well, I just so happen to be making your favorite: breakfast for dinner,” Declan announced before running to his room.
He returned wearing a shirt and resumed his position at the stove. It was like he knew his being shirtless had made me uneasy.
Declan flipped the French toast and sprinkled cinnamon over it. I spent the next several minutes watching him cook. That had become one of my favorite pastimes.