Not Perfect(14)

The air felt so good on her face that she considered not going and just walking around the Square a few times, maybe using a bit of the last of her credit to order that wonton soup. But she knew she shouldn’t pass up a chance to get free food, and food that Levi would probably love.

It took just a few minutes to get there. She’d been here before, with Stuart, on a fall Saturday last year when the kids were both busy and she wanted to try to do something he liked, try to connect with him. So they came to the Michigan–Michigan State game. It had been so crowded they didn’t even end up sitting together.

She walked in and was happy to see it wasn’t full, though there were more people than she would have expected. It was a big place, with lots of young people standing around drinking. It was easy to spot the Michigan group—they were all wearing maize and blue. She could almost hear Stuart’s voice in her head. “They don’t call it yellow,” he would scold her if she ever made that mistake, which she did on purpose just to bug him. She looked down at her ratty red sweater. Ugh. There were holes along the bottom and a small coffee stain to the right side. Worse than that, though, even she knew red was the color of Michigan’s arch rival, Ohio State. Well, it was just going to have to do. She wasn’t trying to make any friends here, just get some food for her children.

But as she was about to head over to the buffet, a young dark-haired man stood on a chair and demanded their attention. Could she slip over while he was talking? Probably, but she decided not to take the chance. Instead she stood still and tried to cover up as much of her red sweater as she possibly could.

“Okay, so it’s a big game on Saturday, and I just want to make sure we’ll have a big turnout,” he called into the group. “Can I see a show of hands from everyone who plans to be here?”

Everyone raised their hand except for Tabitha. They were really going to think she was in the wrong place, so she raised it. The young man nodded at her, then at the crowd, counting softly to himself.

“That should do it—but tell your friends. I mean, I really think they can feel our energy in Ann Arbor. They need us to gather to support them, so thank you for coming tonight, and please, each of you, bring at least one other person on Saturday, okay?”

Everyone cheered and said, “Yes!”

Tabitha mumbled, “Okay.”

She thought it was over and began to inch toward the buffet. She saw pigs in a blanket and mini burgers. She hoped there were tacos. Levi loved tacos.

“Before you guys indulge in the great food provided by the Philadelphia chapter of the U of M Alumni Association, let’s join in a rousing round of ‘The Victors.’ I want them to be able to hear us in New Jersey, okay?”

Tabitha felt like people were looking at her. Why hadn’t she grabbed Stuart’s abandoned T-shirt before she came over?

“One, two, you know what to do,” the enthusiastic chapter leader called off.

Tabitha knew the words. She knew them as well as she knew that you never say yellow when talking about Michigan colors. She had no intention of participating, but found herself belting out the words: “Hail to the victors, valiant . . .” She thought at some point she’d lose the thread and forget a word, but she didn’t. She managed to sing all the way through: “. . . The champions of the west, Go Blue!” She actually punched her fist up into the air as everyone else did with those last words. When it was over, she was a little sorry. It felt good to sing like that. Maybe she should join a choir or something.

Now she could go get the food, right? She had more than done her duty here—put some positive Michigan spirit out into the world. As she turned, she noticed a man looking at her. He was off to the side and just behind her. He was tall and clean cut, wearing khaki pants, a navy-blue sweatshirt with a big maize M on the front over what looked like a dress shirt and tie. He wore glasses, and as she looked at him he smiled at her, a big, warm smile.

“Hi!” she said, without thinking. It was just a reflex. She regretted it right away. She didn’t want to talk to anyone.

“Nice sweater,” he said, but he said it warmly. He had a very deep voice.

“Oh, yeah, I realized my mistake as soon as I got here,” she said. “My daughter is home sick, but I didn’t want to miss this, you know, I wanted to put out that good energy. So I ran out of the house, and I didn’t change into my usual Michigan gear. I almost left, but, well, I wanted to be here.”

“I’m sorry your daughter isn’t feeling well.” He said it like he cared.

Tabitha looked behind him. He seemed to be alone, unless his companion was in the bathroom. That was likely, in fact, since she realized they were waiting just outside the women’s restroom.

“Yeah, thanks,” Tabitha said. It was surprisingly nice to talk to a grown-up. “She’s much better now. But it was touch and go. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to sneak out. When she was well enough that I could, I just ran, hence the poor choice of clothing. But I should be getting back.”

“Oh, sure,” he said. “Well I hope she continues to feel better.”

“Thanks,” she said again. “Me, too. I think she will.”

Now Tabitha was stuck. She didn’t want to walk out. She needed the food! She nodded awkwardly and ducked into the bathroom just on the other side of the man, hoping his person would come out before she did so he’d move away. But the bathroom was empty. Maybe his partner was in the men’s room. Whatever the case, she hoped the man would be long gone when she came out. She checked her phone. It was already 6:12—the food was going to be gone in less than twenty minutes. She waited until 6:18 and went back out. The man was at the buffet, still alone. She took a deep breath and walked over. She picked up one of the tiny plates—why couldn’t they have had bigger plates?—and filled it, smiling to the man as she passed him. He was studying the burgers—they all looked the same to Tabitha—and she skipped them as she gathered the pigs in a blanket and fries. She took the plate to a table, set it down, and went back twice more, filling each plate with the tacos she was happy to see there, and finally the burgers. Back at her table, she pulled out one of the bags and filled it, leaving it on her lap and hoping nobody was paying attention. The man was still at the buffet, clearly having a hard time deciding what to choose. She emptied the plates, put the bag in her purse, and decided to go back one more time. She didn’t quite have enough, and they had just put out a new tray of something, she wasn’t sure what.