Not One of Us(45)

A fire had destroyed the house she’d shared with her first husband, Kenny. They’d lost everything, but at least Kenny had managed to escape. He’d been home alone asleep and had almost died from smoke inhalation. Thankfully, Dana had been visiting her cousin in Montgomery at the time.

She opened the book from our senior year, and I marveled at how outdated the clothes and haircuts already appeared in our individual photos. Dana pointed at my picture. “You were so pretty back then.”

“Meaning what? I’m nothing but chopped liver now?” I joked.

She nudged me with her elbow. “No! You know what I mean.”

It was true. It wasn’t like my face had deteriorated to a mass of sagging wrinkles or that I’d gained a ton of weight. But the schoolgirl in the photo had that youthful gleam and innocence in her eyes that could never be recaptured. I wished I were that girl again. To experience that unbridled optimism and happiness I hadn’t managed to achieve since then. Not since Deacon’s disappearance and the terrible weeks that had followed.

I flipped through the book on her lap and located Dana’s old picture. “And there you are. Pretty then, but even more attractive now.”

Her mouth twisted. “Don’t lie. I looked like shit in high school. My acne was photoshopped for the yearbook, but I haven’t forgotten how hideous it was or that I was a good twenty pounds overweight.”

“You’re way too critical of yourself,” I protested loyally. “Besides, look at that long blonde hair. I remember it came all the way down to your waist.”

“My only saving grace.”

“Kenny adored you.” I wanted to bite my tongue after the words slipped out. Their marriage had lasted less than three years, much to everyone’s surprise. Dana always maintained they’d grown apart, although I suspected the real reason went deeper, even if she didn’t want to talk about it.

“Eh, Kenny.” She shrugged dismissively. “He wasn’t near as cute or exciting as Deacon. You were so lucky to have him as a boyfriend.”

Her words caught me off guard. Was this some backhanded passive-aggressive remark—as in, who was I to have attracted such a great guy as Deacon? I immediately vetoed the thought. More likely, she still harbored bitterness about Kenny as well as the fairly recent divorce from her second husband, Mark. She probably just thought she’d picked the wrong men while I’d lucked out with a better choice. Or it could be that what I’d heard about her drug rehab was true and her drug addiction had wreaked havoc in her marriages.

“Hardly lucky,” I reminded her softly. “I lost Deacon.”

“Lost.” She winced. “You’re right. Sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.” Silence stretched between us, and I asked what had been weighing on my mind. “Listen, you’ve stayed here in town all these years. Have you ever come up with any new theory on what happened to Deacon and his parents? Have you heard anybody say anything recently?”

“Not even a whisper. As shocking as their disappearances were, it’s been a long time. People have moved on.”

And so should you. She didn’t say it aloud, but I felt the unspoken words. “What’s everyone saying about Ray Strickland’s murder? Do they think it has anything to do with Jackson’s long-ago murder? Like some kind of revenge killing?”

“That idea’s been floated. As well as the idea that Ray was either dealing drugs or involved in some other criminal mischief and got in trouble with a bad crowd.”

“Are drugs really a major problem in Enigma?” I asked skeptically.

“Yep. Just like anywhere else.” Dana hugged her arms to her chest. “We’ve never talked about it, but I’ve had my share of addiction problems. Spent several months in rehab after my last divorce and got my life back in order.”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “That must have been rough. But I’m proud that you overcame it.”

She flashed a twisted smile and shrugged. “I finally decided it was time to get it together. I started smoking pot in high school and graduated to harder stuff over the years. Eventually, I got hooked on opioids.” Dana searched my face. “I never told you, but I had a serious crush on Deacon back in the day.”

For the second time this afternoon, she’d surprised me. “I had no idea.”

“Deacon never looked twice at me. Not in the way he looked at you.” She laughed, a tad too off key to be a real laugh. The notes of green arrows in her voice appeared sharper and sleeker than normal. “I even came on to him a couple of times. He acted like he didn’t notice what I was trying to do. Insisted we were just buddies.”

My teeth ground together, and my thoughts raced. I was at once thankful for Deacon’s steady, loyal character and irritated at Dana’s confession. What kind of friend would come on to your boyfriend? I stared at her, the clear-eyed, freckle-faced woman I’d known all my life. How well did I really understand her, after all? Until seconds ago, I’d have sworn Dana was my best friend and I trusted her completely.

“I shouldn’t have told you,” she said at last. “Do you hate me for it?”

“Hate? Of course not. Forget it. We were kids.” I tried to believe my reassurance to her, but a secret part of me was shaken. I doubted I’d ever feel as close to her as I once had.