Not Broken: The Happily Ever After(87)

Fifteen minutes into our game, Shawn sat beside me looking like a little drunk man. His head kept dropping to the side, his sippy cup had rolled free of his hand, and a line of drool oozed out of his mouth. I chuckled at the sight before reaching over him to lay down one of the throw pillows, and then carefully moved him into a more comfortable position.

Turning off the game, I flipped the channel to ESPN and stretched out on the other end of the couch. Ginger came back down a few minutes later.

“How long has he been out?”

“Just a few minutes. Conked out before we even got going really. I will tell you, he’ll be murder on your insurance with his driving skills.”

She picked up the case off the table. “GTA? Really?”

“He picked it.”

She put the case down and settled back against me. Her damp hair was cold against my bare skin, causing me to shiver.

She tried to pull away, running her hands through the wet strands. “Sorry. You don’t have a blow dryer, and I didn’t pack mine.”

I pulled her back to me. “It’s fine. I’ll be sure to buy one to keep here for you.”

I’d happily buy whatever she needed to make her feel more at home here.

“Care to explain about my back?”

She bit her lip, and gave me a coy smile. “Uh…it may sting in the shower. So…sorry,” she said with a half shrug.

I gave a slow nod of my head as things clicked. I lifted her chin and leaned down to give her a chaste kiss. “Just means I did something right,” I whispered against her lips.

“Always.” She pressed her mouth to mine harder, using my dreads to pull me forward. My hand slipped under her shirt, my thumb ran across the hard pebble poking through her bra. I pulled back and shook my head.

“At least a cold shower won’t sting.”

Her teeth sank into her bottom lip and she lowered her eyes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I leaned forward to pick up the remote, and handed it to her.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I was caught by surprise to see Ginger sitting on the bed. “Where’s Lil’ Man?”

“I put him down in his room.”

Hearing her refer to it as “his room” brought a smile to my lips. I placed my hand on the top of the towel around my waist. “Should I even bother getting dressed?”

She shook her head, laughing. “Do you think of anything other than sex?”

“Yeah, I have to eat.”

I winked and strolled over to the dresser. I dropped the towel then looked back over my shoulder to see her watching me. “Enjoying the view?”

“Maybe.”

After I pulled on a pair of boxer briefs, her arms wrapped around my waist. She laid her head against my back, and I covered her hands with mine.

Her grip tightened as she peppered kisses against my skin.

“You all right?”

I felt her nod. I turned to face her, and circled my arms around her waist. She put her hands on my chest, her fingers played with the hairs there. She wouldn’t look at me.

“Baby, what’s going on?”

She shrugged. “It...it’s hard to explain. Just sometimes I get this feeling of dread, you know like waiting for the bottom to drop out. Especially…” She paused and looked up at me. “Especially when things are looking up. I get nervous.”

“Nervous?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Um, I can’t just live in the moment because I start wondering when the bad will hit.”

I reached up to hold her face. “What do you think will go wrong?”

“I don’t know. That’s what makes the rock in the pit of my stomach so much worse. The unknown. I’ve been adrift for so long, lost on any real direction. You’ve become my anchor. I feel grounded again, and it scares me.”

“Why? Wouldn’t being grounded be a good thing?”

“I don’t want to depend on anyone else for my happiness. Because if I lose them…lose you…I’d be lost all over again. And I don’t want to be only a taker in this. I know what it’s like to be in that sort of relationship and depending on you like that, putting all my crap on your shoulders…”

She pulled away and took a seat on the bench. I leaned back against the dresser, watching as she concentrated on twirling the ring around her finger.

I went over and knelt in front of her. “You’re not a taker, but even if you were, I wouldn’t mind. You’ve earned that right. If you’re worried that I’m somehow feeling jipped in this, I’m not. Baby, I’ve told you I love you and the only thing I’ve wanted from you is you. You’re giving me that. You’ve stopped pushing me away. You’re opening up to me. I’m getting a hell of a lot out of this.”

She smiled and slid forward to wrap her arms around my neck. I returned the hug, circling my arms around her waist.

“You know how to make me feel better.”

“I’m your person.”

She pulled back and her brows pulled together. “What?”

“Something Macy said when she invited herself over last week. She opened up about when she was taken and how Mitch was the person she needed most during her recovery. He was who she felt most comfortable talking to. She said I was that for you. I didn’t believe her, but this is one time I don’t mind her being right. Put it on me, baby. I’m your person, anchor, whatever you need me to be. I’m happy to have the job.”