Not Broken: The Happily Ever After(21)

Ginger swiveled so that she faced me, pulling her legs up onto the couch and folded them across each other. “No, it’s not that. I’m…look today when I was with Macy she told me how she didn’t really want this, us to happen.”

“Serious? Why can’t she just stay the hell out of shit?”

“S’it.” Shawn mimicked what I’d said. Luckily he got the word wrong. Ginger gave me a warning look.

It pissed me off hearing Macy had done exactly what I’d asked her not to do. Getting Ginger to agree to date me had already been hard enough with her fear of relationships, I didn’t need Macy adding to that. Ginger came up with plenty of reasons on her own why this wouldn’t work.

“Don’t be mad at her, Mal. She’s just concerned.”

“No what she is, is a fu...freaking nosy, busy body who has to be in the middle of everything.”

Pulling her knees to her chest, Ginger took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have phrased it as a certain thing,” she whispered. “It’s just…you and Macy have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. After…everything, I thought I’d lost my friendship with her, and that hurt. I…I’m just worried that if we can’t…I just don’t want to jeopardize my friendship with her, or you.”

Her fingers traced along the stitching of the cushion as she spoke. Reaching over, I took her hand, and she looked up at me. My thumb ran across the bumpy surface of the ring while I tried to come up with an answer for her concerns.

“Stop thinking so much about the what-ifs and all the things that could go wrong with us and put that energy into their being an us.” I brought her hand to my lips, and gave the palm a soft kiss. “I’m committed to you and making this work. If you’re committed to the same thing, there’s no way we can fail.”

I waited on her to say something, to confirm that she was as committed to this as I was, instead she avoided my gaze.

“Are you committed, Ginger?”

Silence.

She looked up at me, her lips pressed tightly together. She took slow, steady breaths as the seconds ticked on. Her non-answer was answer enough. I started to get off the couch, but then I felt her hand on my arm.

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’?”

“You said you’d be patient with me.” Her voice held an accusatory tone.

“And I would be, but you don’t want to be here. Unlike him, I won’t make you stay in a relationship you don’t want.”

I hated bringing up that bastard, and I could see from the hurt expression on her face, she didn’t like it either. I knew, deep down, that the idea of a relationship freaked her out, but if only one of us wanted this, it wouldn’t work.

“You said I was planning for a future you weren’t sure you wanted, so I’m asking you now. What do you want? To end things before they get started?”

She stared off in the direction of where Shawn sat. “How many times have you been in love?”

“Once.”

She looked over and gave me a fleeting ghost smile. “Well, I’ve been in love twice. Both times they hurt me.”

“You think I don’t know that. I do. I was there, remember?”

“No, Malcolm, you don’t know. I’ve loved two men. I’ve been hurt by two men. My track record is oh-and-two, so…”

I took her hands in mine, trying my best to ignore the disheartening feeling that came over me when she said only twice. “So, third time’s the charm.” I reached out to touch her cheek. “I’m here for you, Ginger. Be it good, bad, or ugly. I’m with you. I just need to know you want me here.”

Shawn came over, and she pulled her hands free of mine to pick him up. She gave him a kiss on his head before bringing her attention back to me.

“I do want you around. There’s just so much happening, and I’m trying my best to adjust. I’m sorry if I’m not acting like you expect me to right now.”

“The only thing I expect is for you to be honest with me. Nothing less, and nothing more.”

She smoothed down the hair on Shawn’s head. “I’m trying.”

I wanted to argue that being honest with me shouldn’t be something she had to try to do, but I let it go. I was starting to realize I had to pick my battles with her, and this wasn’t one I wanted to fight. She said she wanted me around, so I was going to take that as another step in the right direction.





Chapter 10


Calida





“How was your week?” Dr. Carr asked as she pushed her glasses up on her nose.

“Good. How was yours?”

She smiled at my question and put her notepad down on the table. “It was very nice. Thank you for asking.”

She leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs, and waited. I leaned back and mirrored her actions. I came here week after week and told her edited versions of my life. Now I had to decide how much to tell her this week. The silence stretched on, she got paid regardless of if I talked or not.

“Malcolm is buying a house,” I blurted out.

“Tell him I said congratulations.”